There's No Need to Fear, Here Comes A New Year!

Happy fucking New Year.

2018 died last night. Apparently, there's been sightings in Japan and the Eastern world but those fuckers thought dragons were real so they may just be confused. If you ask me our old friend is gone. Let's have a moment of silence.

He was so goddamned young. Gone too soon, man

Gone too soon.

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Moment of silence over. Fuck 2018. Good riddance.

This morning is pretty strange. And I make that statement based off of the 15 minutes I've been awake. Actually, I'm making that statement off the five minutes I've been outside. My neighbors sound like they're having a goddamn battle royale. Everyone in the house is screaming including the fucking children. Maybe they decided 2019 is the year to go #childfree.

© Imgflip LLC

I don't like those people. Not one fucking bit. They always stare at me in the morning. Like it's out of the norm for a guy to sit on his porch and talk into the side of his eight-inch tablet at Five AM.

I bet a guy couldn't even dress up like a pumpkin and lay on his front lawn without

being judged around here. Judgmental assholes.

There's a kid screaming out of their fucking window. And it sounds like he's watching Dora. He better enjoy that while he can. Those animators are probably going to get du du du du du deported when the government gets back up and running. It's a damn shame.

Personally, I don't even think they shut down the government to get fucking funding for that border wall. I think they're putting together some kinda super-mega ICE troops because they know they're not going to get the funding. They're probably building a super-database of all the illegal immigrants. And they're recruiting and training guys from every branch of the military to join the task force and hunt them down and forcefully deport them.

You may think this is from Halo, but it's "bullet-proof liquid armor" 

that a military contractor really made. You can actually touch this.

And when the government comes back together they're going to debut these ICE super-troopers and they're going to start kicking fucking doors down and raiding shit. And then there's going to be reports about how all the ICE troops look like Robocop and it's unfair and brutal to have them guarding the border.

This got really dark, really quickly. 

Let's start the year off with a bang!