One-Note Dreams Are My Forte It Seems

What the fuck is up? 

Welcome to your blog post for Thursday, January 3.

The weather is beautiful this morning. The birds are chirping. The air is cold and moist. In fact, it's just cold enough for you to see your breath. The ground is damp and everything's wet. All the signs of rain are present but it's not even sprinkling right now. All of this is wrapped up in the perfect 52 ° bundle.  This is perfect.

This is what it would feel like every day in a perfect world.  Not this 100 ° summers and 30 ° winters shit we get in Georgia. This is what every day would be like if I was Weather Wizard.

© DC Comics, Inc

Ewwww. Fuck that.

This is what every day would be like if I was fucking Storm from the X-Men. So basically the weather would be amazing if I was Black Panther...

© Marvel Comics, Inc

Last night was the same ol', same ol', y'know? I had strange dreams featuring a highly decorated cast of characters exclusively from my old high school. I need to fire the casting director for my dreams. Shit's starting to have as much variety as a Tarantino production. And I've been in every dream since we started up, too. What gives?

I'll take "unfunny jokes that go on 

for way too long" for $200, Alex.

© CBS Television Distribution

Anyways, I'm ready to rumble!

Are you ready to rumble?

No?

Pansy.