Look to the Skies and Let Out Your Existential Cries

HELLLLLLOOOOO!!!

I'm sitting up here in the usual place. I'm layered like a cake because it's 27° this morning. I'm not cold at all so I've finally met the weather on it's playing field and defeated it.

There's something interesting in the sky. There's two stars perpendicular to each other. One is bigger than the other. It's like the face of some lazy-eyed cosmic entity. It would be both awesome and terrifying if it was a actually face and it started smiling. But probably more terrifying.

 NASA saw something similar once and it kind of looks like the Killer Snowman from Jack Frost...

© NASA

Don't tell me you don't see it.

© Frost Bite Films 

Right now, I'm listening to "Through Glass." I don't know exactly what this song is about but I feel like I can relate to it. To be honest the only reason I'm not looking up the meaning of the song right now is because I feel like I'll relate to it all too well. And it's too goddamned early to be catching feels.

Speaking of feelings. I've been feeling weird this morning. I've been contemplating who I am and why I'm here. I don't have that shit figured out yet. And it feels like I'm the only person I know that doesn't. I don't even want to be in the career field I'm studying. I never did. I hate it. I don't care about money and I find myself trying to use money as a motivator to get through a hard as balls math class.

You know, I think this is the recipe for unhappiness. But there's one thing saving me. I'm so averse to genuine unhappiness, it's almost as if I can bend reality to make happiness. Sure I mope and complain and feel anxious. But there's one thing I know and love about myself. When I start suffering so bad that I'm actually causing myself harm, I'll change things.

So something in me likes this struggle. I just don't know what it is, yet.

But hell. That why I meditate.

Peace the fucking fuck out, hombres.