Our Brains are Tools and Tom Waits is Cool

What the fuck is up?

I’m sitting out here on my front porch typing up this journal entry and listening to Staind. Stand is the shit.

© Atlantic Recording Corporation

It's cold enough for you to see your breath out here. I love that. You can lift your head up and blow out your breath like a puff of smoke. 

And for just three seconds you can feel as effortlessly cool as Tom Waits...

© Scott Smith

Bonus points if you hold a crayon between your fingers while you do it.

So this morning I had a terrible nightmare. I dreamt that I woke up in the living room and got attacked by an invisible monster. How do I know I was being attacked if the monster was invisible? It was throwing shit across the room and growling. 

If I had to guess what he looked like, I'd say like this...

Scared the piss out of me. Fortunately, not literally.

I hate these kind of dreams because they trick you into thinking you already woke up. You'll get up in the same place you went to sleep and for the first few minutes, everything will be alright. You'll start brushing your teeth or taking a piss and then BAM! Crazy shit starts happening! Some jerk-off in a mask will blow the bathroom door off the hinges and shoot you. The walls will start screaming and shouting. The toilet will grow teeth and bite your leg off. Then you actually wake up, paranoid and wondering if you're still dreaming.

They call this a false-awakening. A couple of psychologists said it has something to do with micro-sleep, or consciousness intrusion (Science speak for "We don't know why the fuck this is happening but here's some other shit until we find out.") 

I think your brain is torturing you for not eating healthy or getting enough sleep. You go to sleep, and your brain is like "Alright, now let's make them think they woke up but put some monsters and shit in there to scare them.  Then when they really get up they'll think there are monsters after them and stop fucking around so much and listen to us." Because your brain is a fucking moron that doesn't know how to communicate with you properly.

So that's what's been going on with me for the last four hours.

Have a good day.