And here we are again.
There's no script for these things, yet they're always so formulaic, you know?
I say good morning in a vulgar way. Then I explain what I'm doing and if I'll be doing something exciting today. Then I end it all with a contrived reason that I'm done writing. Throw in a few funny pictures and pop culture references and you've got the recipe for an average blog post on Joe's Not Diary.
© Adobe
Fuck that.
I hate formulaic drivel.
I'm tired of that shit. So let's change things the fuck up.
There's cow noises coming from my neighbor's house.
Yes, cow noises.
Maybe the Romero apocalypse hit last night and my house just hasn't been affected yet. I think there's a "mentally handicapped" guy in there. So don't do drugs when you’re preggers kids unless you want your house to sound like Dawn of the Dead every morning. This is a really mean-spirited tangent.
Enough about my bovine neighbor.
It's getting colder and colder out here. I can see every breath I'm taking. And every breath every one else is taking. In fact, if my crush was out here I'd be just like the guy from that Police song.
But I'd probably be like 80% less creepier.
© Universal Music Group
Speaking of the cold, my fingers are fucking freezing off out here.
Nonsensical black Sabbath parodies FTW!
Anyway, I'll see you guys tomorrow.
Stay warm and drive safely.
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