Merry Christmas. Or whatever y'all celebrate in Germany. I don't know.
These are my pageviews sorted by country. I don't understand this number, but I ain't about to question it...
Anyways, for the last three days (I know what date it is, I just forgot to hit the post button on the 22nd.) I haven't been journaling. But I've done a lot more writing than usual. For the past two weeks, I've been tackling Atomic Habits by James Clear. I've been wanting to read it since I watched a summary video on it earlier this year (check that out here). However, I had to finish up No More. Mr. Nice Guy before I could tackle it.
You see, I'm not the kind of guy that enjoys reading two books at a time. The way I read things is by taking in a paragraph, and writing down what I've read in my own words. Sometimes it gets exhaustive to do that across three pages of the same book, so I can't imagine how annoying doing that for two books at once would be.
At least, not yet.
That's one of the big points of Atomic Habits. Scrutinizing what you think you can do, and challenging yourself little by little, until you can do so much more. I never would've seen myself as a guy who exercised every single day, or picked up his guitar and started learning and practicing chords and scales. Hell, not even six months ago, I declared that this blog was dead. But alas, I was wrong about so much stuff. The fundamental thing I've learned in reading both this book and No More Mr. Nice Guy is that in order to get the most productive things done, you have to change the way you view yourself. And the way I view myself is almost constantly changing.
Anyways, happy first day of Christmas.
You Americans don't understand the concept of multiple days of Christmas. It's a German thing. I just looked that up literally one minute ago.
Point me in the direction of Albuquerque. I'm just trying to get fucking home.
Commitments are fucking commitments. I mentioned two days ago that these blog posts aren't really blog posts. They're daily journal entries that I just edit up, add a few jokes to, and then paste into Blogger.
Not this one. I try to journal every day, but sometimes all I have to say is "I'm tired." And boy I'm tired.
But now that I'm here, I gotta at least say something funny. Or not.
This is probably the first time I've just directly started typing into Blogger instead of journaling. I think it's comparable to how in modern mixed martial arts you have guys that are skipping cross-training multiple different martial arts and are just apparently training MMA, outright. Maybe that analogy makes sense, maybe I'm sleep-deprived and talking nonsense.
I honestly don't think it's even factually correct.
What I do know is that I'm sleepy, so I'm about to end this shit.
I'm sitting here jamming "Breaking Up Is Hard to Do" by The Partridge Family. I got into those dudes back when I was working out of the home. I developed a taste for David Cassidy's swooning and crooning, and YouTube Music naturally autoplayed the Partridge Family. They've got some absolute bangers. I'd call them my only musical guilty pleasure but honestly. I'd blast this shit anywhere; I don't care.
[insert picture of gangster dude with boombox]
"Du-wop, I'm on my way back home!"
Anyways, I'm following along with AtomicHabits and scrutinizing the shit outta my daily processes. And the one I have been trying to figure out how to hack away at for a little bit is my to-do list. From my minimal studying, I've come to understand that using decision-making matrixes is better than using to-do lists. I used to have the Eisenhower Decision Matrix tacked onto my wall as a freshman in college. A system like that doesn't really help if you can't get your priorities straight. You wind up asking yourself questions like "Is it really urgent to get coffee, even though I know I won't be able to function as well without it?" And at the end of the day, you've spent more time thinking about making decisions than actually doing anything.
But I digress. I've got a busy ass day. I've got a doctor's appointment. I've got some fundraising shit to do. I'm trying to develop my endurance and conditioning so I don't die when I go to this Muay Thai gym, on Thursday.
Yeah, I'm getting into Muay Thai.
[Insert Insane Fight Circus Muay Thai Fight]
I don't endorse anything these dudes say during this video. IT'S JUST FUCKING BADASS!
I've been wanting to take up some form of combat, but I always got strange looks saying I'd start grappling as a grown man. But honestly, at this point, I've been talking about it for half a year, and I'm going to just do it.
Anyways, it's 1:30 PM and I've only been up for like two hours since I've become addicted to playing New Vegas. And last night I discovered the console commands. And hooooo boy, was that a fun-assed time. I say that I'm addicted to it, because I'd rather be playing that game, than writing this shit, right now.
People don't talk about how damaging and addictive video games can be. A lot of young dudes repeat the same patterns with video games that the previous generation did with alcohol and other substances.
But you didn't come here to see a not-old man rave about video games being the devil.
But they are...
Peace.
Why the hell am I listening to White Christmas, right now?
I'm just laying back, chilling, listening to A Night In Texas. I was combing through my old song reviews on Hubpages, and apparently, I wasn't generating a lot of traffic, because half of my articles got taken down.
It could be the lack of traffic or the hit-piece I wrote on them, but who knows???
That's their problem because when I Google search for half the stuff I've written about, my articles are the first results. Which means that I either wrote about some extremely niche shit, or my SEO skills were on point. Or both.
Anyways, I wrote a review of A Night In Texas / AngelMaker's split album back in 2018. Despite that, I was today years old when I figured out what the name 'AngelMaker' implies. I wasn't the brightest 18-year-old.
I had a therapy appointment earlier. Now, I'm just coasting, trying to find a balance between accomplishing the rest of my goals for the day and rewarding myself for accomplishing the stuff that I've already accomplished.
As an aside, this "Dissient" song by AngelMaker is really, really good. I recently logged into YouTube Music with my older YT account and let me tell you something.
My music tastes from age 11 - 19, were fucking exquisite. I rediscovered The Black Queen and wound up bumping them all morning. The Black Queen is the result of the most brutal hardcore band breaking up and the singer starting to make synthpop. I digress, but I'm not joking. The Dillinger Escape Plan would have shows where they'd literally run on the crowd's heads. Blood would be everywhere. And when they hung it up, one of them started making Tears For Fears-style cake music.
My man said, "Fuck this shit, I'mma be Justin Timberlake."
This is an even further digression, but for the past few years, I completely forgot that I was a student of metal. I wanted to make it, so I learned everything about it. Hell, in High School I made a periodic table of metal bands for Chemistry class. I was all the way in. I learned how to death growl, and picked up a guitar. Hell, I even recorded a cover of an At the Gates song and figured out how to make album covers. I was really serious about this musician thing.
What got me disillusioned? When it came time to seriously record, I tried to sing a fucking Danzig song to warm up.
Yes, the same Danzig that cofounded and wrote all the music for the Misfits. That one.
Despite having no vocal training.
And of course, it sounded absolutely awful. I now, know that Danzig has a vocal range comparative to Elvis, and there's no way in hell even with years of vocal training I could sound like him. But I was like "Nah, I suck, let's hang all of this music shit up and quit."
Maybe it's time to pick the microphone back up.
I honestly think it's telling that the only metaphor I can ever come up with for picking up the pieces of your life and starting back over is Tim Lambesis. (For those not in the know, Tim was the lead singer of the only good Christian metal band, As I Lay Dying. Around 2010, he started doing roids and eventually got convicted of trying to hire a hitman on his ex-wife. He got out of prison and the band welcomed him back with open arms, and he's been cooling out ever since.) It's been like three years and still through and through metal is the only thing I know. The more I write about this, the more I realize that I can't run away from what I want. I can only delay it and make myself upset that I don't have it, yet.
Anyways, I finished reading No More Mr. Nice Guy a week and a half ago. One of the most life-changing books I've ever picked up. I attribute that book to helping me lose weight, build better relationships, and figure out a lot about myself. I wouldn't be here typing this shit out right now if it weren't for that book. The thing about this book is that it pretends to be, and is marketed as some kind of macho roadmap. But the further you delve into it, you remember that the guy who wrote it is a therapist whose seen hundreds of patients. And he's tricked you into gazing inwards and fixing yourself. I won't spoil it, but later on, the book slowly shifts and turns and points the mirror into your past and starts asking you questions. And they don't feel good to answer. At least that was my experience. This book isn't necessarily about becoming a strong man. It's about learning to nurture the broken, hurt boy inside of you.
The thing that got me really actively losing weight and being consistent, was a little book called Atomic Habits. I just started seriously reading it last week, but I watched a summary of it back in June and it made me get serious about building a good habit of exercising. And I'm honestly very excited and happy to finally be picking it up and taking notes. I recommend Atomic Habits, too.
But there's a heavy burden on my heart. To whom much is given, much is due. I started this blog as a place to give back all the knowledge I'd received in my short life. Now that I have the means to give that knowledge out in person, I know that I must. It's the reason I'm alive and not just breathing.
Yes, that's a Killswitch Engage reference. I do those constantly...
To inspire people with the words of wisdom that I was given. To impart the words of my forefathers.
And that's what I'm doing by posting here. Making a public declaration that going forward, I'm going to give back. Because I've received a lot of things from a lot of people.
Just to emphasize how beautiful my life has been, I had the privilege of being in the same building as this dude right after he blew up. My life has been wonderful, and it's time to bring up other people.
Stay fucking tuned. Great things are coming.
I don't own any of these pictures, I ain't a photographer.
Well, I finally went back and read all of those old posts. They're not actually blogposts, they're just daily journal entries that I spruced up, added jokes to, and posted online. And honestly, I laughed, cringed, and had an awesome time. 19-year-old me was a riot. I would've loved to have been a fly on the wall when I was writing half of those posts.
On a serious note, going back and reading those posts made me realize that I was almost a completely different person than I am right now. Which is a good thing and a bad thing. On the one hand, if I've been the same person for the past 3-4 years, then thousands of hours and dollars have gone right into the shitter. So it's good to see that I'm not.
On the other hand, I see that I was vulnerable and open about some very serious things. I repeatedly hammered home that I was suffering from anxiety, but it wasn't going to stop me from doing anything. I talked about my struggles with self-doubt. Hell, I even ended each and every post with a salutation and thanks to all the readers. I was really blogging out here. I earned my stripes, so to speak. (At least in my mind.)
And honestly, I don't even know where, or how I lost that fire. The young man that wrote all of that stuff from 2018 - 2019 was angry, but he was hungry and he was willing to do anything to build a better life for himself. Hell, I explicitly stated multiple times that my life was going wrong, but I'd never give up or complain about it. And it's not the fact that I said that shit that's intriguing me. It's the fact that I was actually living that life. If an 18-year-old kid said anything like that to me, right now, I'd let them cling to me like a fruitbat. Because that's a powerful mind. But enough about the past.
My concerns about maintaining this blog going forward (and my hesitations about keeping the posts public) are employment related. Back when I started this place, I thought I was going to be on the road touring, telling everyone my life story by now. I didn't think for a second that I'd actually be doing anything related to computers in an office. So I never cared about saying all manner of wild and offensive things. But as I reign myself in, and get a little closer to white-collar employment, I realize.
These employers be creepin'.
And if you're trying to work for Reeboks, their hiring manager don't care that you were 13 when you said you hated Reeboks, all they care about is that you said it.
You say you want to work at my Pizza Hut, but I found this picture on Facebook, of you eating Dominos when you were 4! Gotcha!
But nonetheless, I'd like to start back journaling, and keeping this place maintained, again. To get something you've never had before you've got to do something you've never done.
And I've never openly blogged about my life as an adult.
See ya!
P.S. If you're coming here looking for personal information on me, you're in the wrong place. My contact details are on the sidebar. I'm open and willing to answer all questions from anyone.
Much shit has been made about this, to the point that it's fucking aggravating. I haven't used Facebook regularly since they flagged a meme I posted as "misleading" way back in 2020. It's for old people and data miners. I'm neither of those things. Yet.
I feel the urge to explain why the hell my Facebook account says I'm 31. But it boils down to the fact that they won't let me correct it and I'm not about to make another fucking Facebook account. I don't give a shit. It's funny. I'm clearly not 31.
Anyways, I said all that to say this.
The internet is forever. Whatever you post can get screenshotted, archived, and preserved forever and ever and ever. And I personally have said some insane shit on the internet. My rule of thumb has always been to never post anything online that I wouldn't say in person. That becomes an issue when you realize the shit you'd say at 18 years old wouldn't even cross your mind at the age you are right now.
Hell, half of the shit I've posted on this very blog is ridiculously embarrassing and expository. But I admire that. Somewhere along the line, I lost the ability to be so damn open. Not only did I lose that ability, but I've even been afraid of showing that kind of vulnerability. I'm in disbelief that I was actually openly talking about how I felt and posting it on the internet for anyone to see. I'm jealous of the 18-year-old who did that. I couldn't imagine hopping on here and being like "XYZ pissed me off at my job today and I got into a fistfight last night." I don't want to read that shit, and anyone who wants to read it is fucking weird.
So in a way, seeing insane shit that I've posted on the Internet (especially stuff on this blog) helps me to see how I've grown as a person. Are there times when I wish that I hadn't said or posted certain things? Obviously yes. But the fact that I can look back on those things and say,"Oh my god, why the hell did I put that on the Internet?" shows me that not only have I matured as a person. It also proves to me that I probably have a lot more unforeseen maturing to do in the future.
And also, I think I've repeated, again, and again, and again, that I don't give a shit what anyone thinks about me as long as they're thinking about me. I came here to be remembered and if shit I did 10 years ago on the internet is having people approaching me in person right now, I think I may be doing something right. I record everything that I do, as a means of tracking my progression as a person. I firmly believe that the only person I should compare myself to; and be jealous of is myself. So honestly, when I see some stupid shit that I've posted online in the past, it makes me happy. I cringe hard. But after I cringe I can't help but be grateful that I'm aware enough not to post the same thing in the future. And the future is all I'm concerned with.
The best thing about the future is that it's being created in real-time.
I watched Halloween Ends, and it honestly was so bizarrely bad that it felt like a fever dream.
I stopped paying attention toward the end. I could not fathom how it was wrapping up the plot of Laurie Strode's daughter getting killed. I don't understand how this was supposed to be a satisfying final battle between Laurie and Michael. There was way too much new stuff going on.
There was a guy who apparently got possessed or psychically linked to Michael and started killing people. With Michael's mask on! And then instead of just using her as a background character, Laurie's granddaughter straight-up falls in love with the guy. I mean, he fucking romances her. But he's also the killer. It makes no sense why the writers did this. Is it to say, "Michael is so evil and hates Laurie so much that he'll literally do magic to ruin her life!" Why is he suddenly possessing people?
And why the hell did they decide to make the guy that Michael possesses the protagonist? He's the protagonist so he's straight-up likable, but then he just randomly starts killing people. It's like he's two different characters. This is an okay character, and it's okay to have someone like this in the movie, but why do we have to follow his life and watch him fall in love with Laurie's granddaughter? What does all of this have to do with Laurie and Michael finally facing off?
You could've had him possess her granddaughter and Laurie would have to kill her. And that would kill Michael off forever but it would also make it so she has nobody left. You can even throw the love interest back into the story. But don't show us their love story. Have him already be married to her. And that way, you could even have him get possessed too. But don't have Laurie's granddaughter fall in love with an unstable murderer. That makes no sense and makes everyone in the story look stupid. Why is there even a need for Michael to be possessing people? He didn't do that shit in the last two movies, so why is he suddenly doing magic? There's no memorable explanation given for this.
I'mma stop ranting and go read the Wikipedia page.
I was wrong about there being magic, somehow I was very deeply confused about what the movie was visually trying to do. There's a point where the main character is getting choked to death by Michael Myers, and they lock eyes. And there's a spectacular flashback sequence. And then Michael lets the guy go. And the main character kills someone for the first time, like three minutes later. I interpreted the flashback sequence as meaning that Michael had possessed him or something. Apparently, that's not the case. But even Wikipedia didn't understand what the hell was going on -
Which, to me, means that this is more of a visual storytelling failure than me being stupid.
With the added context of a Wikipedia synopsis, the story still makes no sense.
They made a new character who gets bullied and falls in love with the main character's granddaughter. But he also is Michael's friend and he even kills people with him! He even kills his bullies! But this is still the last Halloween movie, so he dies.
Who let someone write their self-insert fanfiction into the script? Where is the rest of the movie? Is there going to be a director's cut? Can someone at least fanedit this into a proper movie?
I demand justice! Dammit!
All in all, it feels like Halloween ended in the background of another story.
Edit: I've never been as close to crying while watching MMA as I was after watching Islam squeezing the life outta Charles. I still can't believe what that Russian did to our boy. I'm hoping and praying that Volk can knock Islam out and take that lightweight strap in February. But we'll see.
Charles Oliveira was a dirtpoor kid from a Brazilian favela. And if you don't know what a favela is, it's why like a slum but 20 time worse. Imagine the worse projects in your city but with no police, and twenty times bigger. Favelas can't even happen in most countries because of the Industrial Revolution. Those things are third world exclusives.
And I wasn't trying to be offensive when I said slum but 20 times worse. The man who introduces Charles to BJJ wound up murdered before Charles even got his first belt. These places are fucking dangerous, and it'd server you best to get the hell out of there. Which Charles did. And not only did he do that, but he made it to America and used his fighting skills to get to the biggest MMA promotion in the world. As a kid from a not so nice area (that isn't as bad as a favela, but still) coming from a place like that, making it on TV once would be enough. This guy came to Amercia, made it to the UFC, and eventually became the champion of one of the most competitive mixed martial arts divisions ever. This guy has been through a lot.
Now, I'll admit to having been a little bit skeptical as to whether Charles could take Khabib Jr. Even though Islam hasn't fought anyone in the top 5 of the lightweight division. Even though Charles is a ten-year veteran in the UFC. Even though when you look up BJJ vs. Sambo on YT you see a BJJ black belt outstriking and submitting a Sambo champion.
Streetfights don't count though?
For some reason, I'm just finding out midway through writing this that this was a title fight. And that just reinforces the point I was going to make. You'd be a damn fool to fight Charles before he gets that belt back. Back in August, an article came out where Charles revealed that his father called him crying after he'd been stripped of the belt. I don't know if any of y'all have ever had to console your own father, but that provides a different kind of motivation. All of us have a little kid inside of us that just wants to make our dads proud. (I'd argue that it's why the last lightweight champ was so damn dominant.) And now that Charles has been put back into that place as little kid in the favela wanting to make his parents proud. That same mental place that fueled his journey to America, and to the UFC and to the top of the lightweight division. We saw how angry we was when he was fighting Justin Gaethje. I would be absolutely terrified to get into that octagon with him.
It's not that Islam is untalented or unmotivated. He's far as hell from that. He's not approaching this shit right at all. Unless he's going to try to immediately take Charles down, or immediately knock him out. I don't see Islam winning this one. I see him getting absolutely brutalized by an angry Brazilian.
Dude, melodic death metal will always have a special place in my heart. Especially melodic death metal that tells a story. So Quo Vadis' Dead Man's Diary has been one of my favorite songs since I first heard it. I love everything about it. I like that there's musical interludes for the feeling or apparition or rage that the protagonist feels whenever he touches the diary. I like the piano in that final interlude. I like the way everything is mixed, from the drum fills to the bass. This song is just musical perfection. Except for one thing.
The fucking lyrics.
Don't get me wrong, they're almost perfect too. They're atmospheric. The spoken whispering in the beginning perfectly incapsulates that feeling of a waking nightmare. Which is the point of the song. It's the tale of a curious man exploring a room and picking up an ancient book hoping that it holds forbidden knowledge. But all the while he knows that he feels something deeply wrong about it. It feels like the very book and the very room itself is threatening him to leave or something fucking terrible is going to happen. A nasty stench is filling the room. But of course the protagonist carries on an picks up the book.
It's a black and white photo book / diary that contains a murder confession. And all the while the protagonist feels like the room, the wind, the very environment is threatening to murder him. But he keeps reading on. And then the fucking pages start flipping by themselves.
I feel like this is the point where most of us would've went "Oh, shit this isn't my house.", and fake stumbled back out the door.
And then something begins to ink the last page of the diary with the current date, the protagonist's name and his cause of death. And instead of high-tailing it out of there, the guy closes his eyes in terror, looks up and sees a ghost. And the ghost shoots him. Or at least that's the last thing he threatens to do before the song ends. You see the song leaves a lot of shit (which shouldn't be) open to interpretation. Apparently the ghost has the same face as the protagonist. The ghost, or apparition also repeatedly threatens to crucify and burn the protagonist alive. But not in this last stanza. In this last stanza, the not so disembodied voice says that he's going to "ram a bullet through his head." Hold on for a second here. The ghost went from threats of boiling him alive and nailing him to a piece of wood to just straight up shooting him. Can ghosts even do that? What? And it really, really does not help that this is the second to last line of the song, and the only thing that the ghost (or rage, or feeling) says differently when he actually appears.
I'll help you to visualize this. The first threat is this -I'll hunt you down and punish your life, I'll nail you to the beams of red, I'll watch you bleed and beg for mercy. I'll savor the moment when our eyes will meet."
I couldn't even find an image that wasn't too X-Rated to post here...
The second threat is this - I'll hunt you down and punish your life, I'll nail you to the beams of red,
I'll burn your flesh, you will be covered with sores, I'll feel your pain as you scream for mercy.
And the last threat (and the last stanza of the song, I might add) is this -I'll hunt you down and punish your life, I'll nail you to the beams of red, I'll ram a bullet right through your head, I'll put an end to the misery.
Which y'know kinda implies that this ghost just appeared and headshotted this motherfucker.
Wait a second. Just wait.
Is this song about a man shooting himself because he felt guilty about murders he's committed?And the diary is his own diary and he's reading his own words? Does the presence share his face, because there is no apparition, and the threat is himself? Or is it sincerely about an unassuming man being killed by an evil spirit that inscribes his name in a diary?Is the horror in the fact that the song leaves it ambiguous?
It's almost certainly the former upon going back and listening. This song isn't funny at all. This is fucking genius.
But a short aside here. These guys are a perfect example that if you have a favorite band or group, you need to go see or hit up them fuckers while you can. No matter how good you are, the music industry can swallow you whole and spit you out. No one has heard from any of these fuckers since 2013. All you Deathcore fans, go see your boys, go to signings, and go to meet-and-greets and AMA's. In my research I've seen so many examples of uber-talented musicians just straight-up fucking disappearing after their careers fell apart. And this industry will leave you jaded as fuck, not wanting to ever pick up your instrument again. I've barely written since I got into that publishing dispute last year. It took something out of me. I'm just a kid with a blog in the middle of nowhere. I can't fight any company. It's disheartening. So show your favorite musicians love and support on principle. If you ever cross over, the business side of this shit is not fun at fucking all, and is the biggest reason you see people with immense talent go back to working at Wal-Mart. I did a week of suit and tie shit and I'm done with them until I have enough money and time to get a lawyer.
Never have I ever before found the true meaning of something because I was making fun of it. Maybe I should do this shit more often. I'mma start shitting on quantum mechanics so I can understand that shit more...
Do you idiots actually think that the next step in computing is applying abstract concepts of physics and science that most people don't even understand? You really think an open air system would be able to respond to stimuli being - It's actually fucking working, uh-oh.
Obviously this post is a bust, but I think I've just proved what a bunch of folks have already said over and over again. Humor is just the truth told in a quicker way...
I mentioned in that Mercyful Fate post that I (largely inspired by King Diamond) dabbled with occult and Satanic nonsense. I do feel the need to specify that I was of the Luciferian breed of Satanism (which is just spectacled, flashy Atheism). I didn't believe in any hoodoo-voodoo nonsense or anything that couldn't be explained or wouldn't be able to be explained eventually. But through wanting to understand things deeper and deep meditation I found that there seems to be something, beyond. Something that you can indeed interact with if you follow the steps that the old priests, and houngans did. And it fucking works. Of course I always questioned whether I was just being paranoid or whether I was just being silly, but when other people claimed to feel an unexplainable feeling that I also felt. It confirmed my suspicions that I was doing something strange. And I didn't like it. There's nothing that will put the fear of god in you, like finding out that you are deeply, deeply wrong about everything and that there is possibly something out there beyond your understanding. Something beyond the explanation of science, or Catholicism. And then when that horror gets correlated by pretty reasonable folk, it makes you feel even more - terrified.
A lot of people tell me that this sounds like a bunch of hokey-pokey nonsense, when I tell them about this. If it sounds like nonsense to you, I invite you to go and seek out the knowledge, seek out that practice. But don't do it in any place you'd like to remain in for a long time.
This isn't an MMA blog by any stretch of the imagination, but goddamn, where else do I gush about what I saw last night?
I never thought this would end like this. I'd never root for an Englishman, it just ain't in my nature. It doesn't matter that Kamaru Usman is one of the most cringeworthy athletes I can think of. He's one of my countrymen, and he's the reigning champion so I'm going to be in his corner. And I was rooting for him the whole fight. It also doesn't help that Edwards cheated a few times. It doesn't help that Edwards hasn't fought Colby, or Masvidal, or Burns. Come on, we all knew that Usman was going to steamroll through this guy like he's been doing with everyone for the past two years.
Man, I was so damn confident that Usman had just won the decision over this fool that I took to Twitter and started sounding off during the last round -
With the repeated cheating, cocky attitude, and the fact that he hasn't fought Colby or Jorge, I'm happy and unsurprised to see Edwards lose.
You never know what to expect from this sport. Me and this guy on Discord immediately started going back and forth about whether Khamzat will be the first to fight Leon, but honestly I think last night just proved, you never, ever know what to expect from MMA.
I was a teenager once upon a time. In fact, I started this blog when I was 18. My point here is that I dabbled with Satanism and the occult, and I was that edgy kid that used to walk around yelling "Hail Satan!" to scare and offend people. And admittedly I still think faux-satanism is fucking hilarious. So when I heard Mercyful Fate for the first time I immediately fell in love. I was more than in love. I went and downloaded the whole fucking album.
Yes, downloaded. I'm 22 and own about 270 albums and my last name isn't Gates. I did what I had to.
And then I went on a journey of exploring everything about King Diamond and Mercyful Fate. You see, for some reason I wasn't aware that there was a such thing a Satanic-themed music. So when I discovered Mercyful Fate, I legitimately started a Satanic music collection. I remember I would go onto music downloading sites and type in "Satan" or "Lucifer" under the metal section and just download everything en masse. And most of it was cringeworthy even by my seventeen-year-old edgelord standards. But there were definitely some bangers -
This shit isn't even metal and it has nothing to do with Lucifer. It's the album version of clickbait...
But Mercyful Fate was legitimately metal, and legitimately about some pretty gnarly shit. When I found out that Metallica were inspired by them early on, it was a wrap I went and "bought" all of their records. I've talked about how fucking diverse Fate is but gotdamn, Mercyful Fate is diverse.
Their first record / demo is basically all straightforward proto-heavy-metal bangers about horror / sacrilegious / devil shit. Except "Devil Eyes." I mean, its' lyrically the same as everything else on the record but it's straight up disco-metal. I don't know if the King felt like one of the Bee Gees that day, but from the rapid drumming throughout to the more subdued riffing, "Devil Eyes" is just a straight up disco song.
It's the same case for "Gyspy" off of The Oath. If someone else was singing the song and the guitars were tuned up just a tad bit, it would be a damn pop song. And since I'm used to King's voice, I'd argue that it 100% is a damn pop song. The title track is a five-minute masterpiece about taking an oath to Satan that sounds every bit like the lyrics would imply. But this is a damn near power-metal / pop rock ballad about a gypsy woman. And it doesn't take away from the record or make it any worse.
You see, I think tracks like "Devil Eyes" and "Gypsy", (especially the latter where King does that high-pitched "oh, no, no, no") completely make it so you can't take the Satanic shit seriously. And even if you do, you can't actually be afraid of it, if it's going to be this silly. Cause this shit is over-the-top ridiculous. Which makes me completely understand why King decided to break off and make his own "more serious" music.
Well, it's definitely at least more high-concept if it isn't more serious...
(Editor's Note: Apparently, Hank Shermann wanted to make pop rock, which admittedly would've absolutely solidified Fate as household names. But some people (a.k.a. King) just aren't willing to go commercial. Imagine a world where King and crew blew up in the US, returned to form in the 90s, and proceeded to keep making banger-ass records. You know, like Metallica did?)
And by extension, it makes occult practice / satanism look silly as all hell. I think that's a bigger reason why King didn't want to be involved with Mercyful Fate later in his career and wanted to build a reputation as the scary occult crypt-keeper of metal. Cause his solo records are grim. Half of the time, they're so grim, they're not even fun to listen to. They just feel dreary and long-winded. But to my understanding King did actually practice some sort of occult magic and ritualistic bullshit. (I don't care what it's called, because I don't take it seriously. And that's King's fault.) Apparently "Welcome Princes of Hell" is about some shit that actually happened to King. That song is about him summoning demons and shit into his house and partying with them. It's badass shit if you take it at face value and it's almost the only example of Mercyful Fate making the occult sound cool and serious. But they spelled the name of the song wrong on the record, and "Welcome Princess of Hell" sounds like an atheist edgelord fanfic.
It's almost like King was begging not to be taken seriously, while
simultaneously demanding to be taken seriously...
And honestly I played with grimoires and looked into summoning all of that shit. And to each his own, but it's not my cup of tea. It's not even something you can do while tripping balls, because it will have you paranoid that you summoned some ruler of the fifth ring of hell and he's going to put a financial curse on you. It sucks. But gotdamn this shit is hilarious. I used to think "Burn in Hell" was the most badass shit I'd ever heard. I would be tapping my foot along saying "Yeah, fuck Jesus, fuck them Christians!" But now as an old man, I'm tapping my foot along saying "Goddamn, Denner and Shermann can riff like a motherfucker, but these lyrics are goofy as hell." You see I've actually listened to nuanced Satanic lyrics. I've seen folks slip subtle shit into lyrics and song titles. I've listened to other Satanists / Luciferians actually make metal music that isn't just "Fuck Jesus, hail Satan, I love Hell, woohoo!"
This Candlemass ripoff is an okay example...
But take a song like "Doomed by the Living Dead." King has a unique ass voice, the riffing and the drumming is heavy as fuck, boy. And the switch-up to the chorus is something amazing. But then he shrieks "Say goodbye to all your holy angels." And he says that absolutely ridiculous shit with vigor and spite.
And you can't help but crack up because it's dead serious but it makes no sense. And I know I may be being too harsh on these guys since English isn't their first language. But it's not like they didn't have a producer / any English-speaker around them to tell them this sounded fucking silly.
Then take "Nuns Have No Fun" which is also an amazing song. The opening of this song is so damn graphic, I'll leave you to go look it up. (It involves a certain holy figure being tortured and assaulted.) And then the bridge hits and you hear, "C.U.N.T., that's what you are!" Firstly, these aren't even really song lyrics. This is something a vandal would spray-paint on a building or an upset child would scratch onto a church pew. Secondly, the song goes from violent torture and rape to an Australian cheerleading chant. And this is what we in the writing business call "mood whiplash." You're supposed to ramp things up, not scale them down. You can't help but laugh at how abruptly the lyrics switch up in intensity. And honestly when I think of it, there's no way this isn't intentional. They do it way too often. If the lyrics are too brutal then King starts saying silly shit. If the song sounds too intense then King shrieks something in broken English or there's a damn near Euro-pop-esque breakdown. In the few cases where they manage not to undermine their own intensity, either the next song is absolute shlock, or something immediately distracts from it. It feels like ritualistic magic how often this is the case.
And that's why I'll always come back to this band.
Whether it be because you actually take this shit seriously and want to summon Bigbill the Colonel of Hell to get you fifteen girlfriends, or you just like offending people, or if you're a music fan, or if you need a good laugh, Mercyful Fate is goddamn enjoyable.
And that's the difference between what makes Mercyful Fate timeless and King Diamond's solo material so boring. He takes himself far too seriously. His shit is too high-concept. It's about bitches getting stuck in paintings and grandmas getting trapped in voodoo dolls. Which in itself is silly when you take it out of context. But Mercyful Fate, this shit is just Satan, witchcraft, and defiling nuns, while Satan laughs along. And you laugh along as well.
Firstly, yes that final fight between Vader and Obi-Wan was the most badass thing I've seen in a long time. It was almost worth sitting through the eight hours of boring nothingness that preceded it.
Almost.
Before I even start, I'm going to admit that I barely finished the show. I skipped half of the fifth episode, and skimmed through the sixth one. The only reason I didn't publish my initial review is because EVERY OTHER REVIEWER on the internet said the same thing I did. But shit, this is my show, and I get to call the shots here.
Kenobi was fucking boring. It was so goddamn boring that I didn't even enjoy skewering it on the blog. Usually when I'm watching something bad, I'm already stockpiling everything I'm going to say in my review and I can't wait to finish it. This show bored me to absolute tears. I could not force myself to sit through it. I could write a better show than this. It was nothing but fanservice with pointless filler in between. Yes, I liked seeing Hayden Christensen as Anakin. Yes, I loved every single time Darth Vader was onscreen. Yes, I laughed every time Obi-wan cracked a snarky one-liner. Yes, I gushed when I saw Liam fucking Neeson in the last episode. But, why did I have to sit through six hours of filler to see all of that?
For this, I admit it was worth it...
The problem with making Star Wars shows set in between the main saga, is that we already know what the fuck happens. So there's absolutely no tension. Obi-Wan is not going to die. Leia is never in any danger. If a new character shows up, he can't do anything too significant without some annoying retconning. And he HAS TO either die or be so insignificant that we never need to see him again.
When Ice Cube is part of the story but everyone fails to mention it...
How the fuck did these people manage to make Star Wars of all things unexciting and tensionless? Even though The Phantom Menace is poorly written and has no plot, there's nonstop action, people die, and shit explodes. There's actual stakes. In Kenobi, they do the same thing over and over again and then jam all the characters into their starting positions for the original trilogy and all the side characters die / fade into obscurity. Because they have to.
This is the equivalent of me one day telling you a badass story with a solid ending and then every day afterwards coming back and telling you little minute details that have no impact on the story whatsoever.
Also, I see Disney is coming out with another Bore Wars show either this year or next year. I didn't watch the fucking trailer, I'm on a Disney sabbatical after having to die through Ms. Marvel. I've literally never heard of the character that's in it, nor have I even seen the lead actor. And normally I'd take that as a good sign, but it's been eleven years.
Welp. I'm fucking back after my umpteenth hiatus. I don't like doing this anymore. In fact, the pressure of trying to finish a single post is a feeling I've come to despise. I used to post here every fucking day and I loved it. But I guess back then I had a lot of ideas of the person I wanted to be and who I thought I could become. I had a silly dream of becoming a musician, and being some established writer. It's not a dead dream, and honestly I've done a lot more than most people. Hell, I created and recorded multiple different episodes of a podcast. I remixed and released a few songs. I kept up this place for a few years. Hell, people read this shit.
But dammit, I'm old, now.
Me, but like twenty years younger...
Age and disappointment have gotten to me. There was a time not too long ago when I was making a concerted effort to promote everything I posted here. Around the same time I was also posting for leisure. But you know time, addiction, stress, and aging have pulled me away from caring enough to trudge through the writer's block that comes with years of a lack of motivation. How many times do I pour my heart out about a movie to no one? How many songs, and albums do I review to deaf ears? I feel like a loser even complaining about this. I always said if you have a bad time writing something then people are going to have a bad time reading it. And I genuinely hate writing this shit half the time. I couldn't push through that Kenobi review series because the show sucked balls and my review was boring. I quit reviewing The Boys because I didn't want to trudge through it. I honestly don't even know whether I'm making excuses or I'm just ranting. And honestly who the fuck wants to read that shit?
But I said all that shit to say this.
Fuck this shit. No more review series, no more structured content, no more anything. I want to write whatever the fuck I want to write, how I want to write it. I don't want this place to turn into the ravings of a mad madman, but hell, no one is reading the shit in the first place, because I don't even post anything.
I think I'm just still mad about my fucking book launch failing...
Before I say anything else. This shot was genuinely one of the most badass things I've seen in any movie or TV show all year.
I'm not a big fan of all the retconning this series is doing, but if just for that shot of Vader and him saying "Now, it's your turn to suffer.", it's worth it. That was some badass shit. Everything pertaining to Vader in this show so far has been good. I like that during the mirage scene in the desert, Obi-Wan hallucinates Anakin as he looked when he stormed the Jedi Temple with the 501st. He isn't a seven-foot cyborg. He's a grimacing sociopath and child-killer in Jedi robes. Which makes Obi-Wan's horrified reaction all the more scarier.
But on to the review.
This episode was decent. The first half sort of felt like filler. Also, to be a Jedi, Obi-Wan isn't very stealthy or good at hiding. Why would you be walking around the desert in obvious jedi robes, when the entire Empire is looking for you. At least shave and wear a vest or something.
See? He looks like a completely different guy without the beard.
There's no way in hell that Star-Nosed Mole (yes, that's a real animal) didn't immediately recognize them and wasn't just playing along. Even the Stormtrooper who was interrogating Kenobi seemed two seconds away from asking him how dumb he thought they were.
Nothing else really happened in this episode. The bootlicking Mole gets taken hostage by Kenobi. A stormtrooper attempts to take Leia hostage (As if Leia is going to die. Wow, such tension.) and he wouldn't fucking miss the shit anyway. )The Inquisitors bicker like a bunch of stepchildren. And oh my god, the Inquistors.
I did my research between these reviews, and apparently both the Grand Inquisitor and the Sombrero Inquistor show up later down the line in Rebels. Guess who doesn't? That's right. No one's favorite character, the Third Sister.
This character is annoying as hell to watch and I can't wait till Vader chokes her or she gets cut down. Say what you will about the actress (except racist stuff, cause she'll complain to TMZ about you) but she does a damn good job of making you not like her.
So I just finished watching the first two episodes of the new Obi-Wan Kenobi show. And so far, so good. I'm going to break it down episode by episode, tackling what I liked so far, and didn't like, and then I guess I'll talk about where I hope the show goes.
Episode I
The show kick offs with a brief recap of the prequels. And I don't know if it's because I'm fresh off a bing of Mr. Plinkett's review of the movies, or because I'm just burnt out of Star Wars in general, but I didn't like it. I know that it was absolutely necessary to include that little bit of background for more casual fans who may not be familiar with that part of Star Wars, but I feel like it took away from the story. It makes it feel less like a standalone story and more of a sequel. And although I really liked the prologue scene in the Jedi Temple, it just ends abruptly. It feels a little off. I understand that we're setting up the premise that the Jedi are being hunted down and are extinct, but you just kicked off the show with two minutes of stuff unrelated to the main story. One of those scenes wasn't needed and you could've picked one.
Things don't feel right. I skipped a lot of the Disney Star Wars stuff, including Rebels and The Book of Boba Fett. So to me, this doesn't really look or feel like Tatooine. Hell, I don't remember a single shot of those iconic twin suns. And the way that Inquisitor ship jets over the desert and these black-suited Sith-wannabes pile out with lightsabers and capes just looks so out of place. This looks like a Star Wars fan film. I'm not shitting on anything, there's some dissonance. A lot of the aliens look either new or different. Tatooine just doesn't feel like Tatooine.
But, Obi-wan is still fucking Obi-Wan. It's almost like there's been one guy who's always writing Obi-Wan's witty one-liners because they never ever miss. This doesn't really shine so much in the first episode so much as the next.
And I didn't know that Princess Leia was gonna be in this show, but boy, is she in this show. The actress they have playing young Leia perfectly captures that snarky, headstrong energy that Carrie Fisher always exuded.
Towards the end of this episode, the pace really picks up. Obi-Wan is faced with a really difficult choice. Staying in hiding on Tatooine so he can watch over Luke, or leaving the planet to go rescue Leia, risking exposing himself and both of the kids in the process. And of course he picks the latter, and we see him dig up his old lightsaber, and put on his old robes. And it's a feel-good moment in what's so-far been a somber, melancholic viewing.
Episode I was kind of slow, but it wasn't bad. A little too many flashbacks to the Prequels.
Also, Flea is in this! And anything with Flea in it gets ten bonus points on my rating scale.
Episode II
This episode was miles ahead of the first in my opinion. The first episode ends on a cliffhanger, where Obi-Wan is pulled back into his old adventuring and wisecracking ways. And he hops right back into it. I meant it when I said Obi-Wan's one-liners are always on point. This episode really showcases that. We see some power struggles between the inquisitors (who I still don't really like, but they're here so whatever). There's also a John Wick ripoff sequence where a price is put on Obi's head and every bounty hunter in the city starts attacking him and Leia. It was definitely a fun watch. But I dislike the same things about this episode, as I dislike about the first episode. Since this is a prequel, the new elements seem blatantly out of place, and the older elements either don't seem the same or they're not focused on enough. Which is what happens when you erase decades worth of established lore, but it what is.
Also, Flea gets killed in this episode, and I won't stand for this kind of disrespect of one of the greatest bassists of all time. So I'm knocking like 1000 points off.
Things I Hope to See
I really hope that the shitty Inquisitor's (you know the one I'm talking about) "tragic" backstory with Obi-Wan gets revealed at the beginning of the next episode. I'm sure we all picked up on her saying that Obi-Wan owes her something, and then later on Obi tells Leia that some of the Inquisitors are former Jedi. Chekhov's gun. (Or Lightsaber in this case.) I'm getting tired of shows that write these lazy-ass tragic villains. They're not fun to watch, and the writers think they're clever by hinting that there's a reason she's soo ruthless. But yes we picked up on the hints, and no, we don't fucking care. Just let the asshole character be an asshole for once. Take TheMandalorian for example. Grand Moff Gideon was a slimeball, and we didn't need to know why or how he got that way. Because it doesn't matter. And it doesn't help that I'm also pretty sure I can probably guess what her backstory is. She's probably one of the padawans that ran away during that stinger from the first episode. Maybe in one of the later episodes, we'll see that she was a padawan and that Anakin cut down her Master in front of her, so she blames Obi-Wan. Maybe she's Mace Windu's daughter. My point here is that, even if that is the case, we don't care. The character fucking sucks so far. Also, one of the major plot threads of the prequels (and Star Wars in general) is that just because you've had a bad life, it doesn't justify you being a bad person and doing bad things. So engaging in this kind of ass-backwards character-building is just tone-deaf. But I hope I'm wrong.
Also, she's thick as hell, so I'll cut her some slack.
I kind of want to see some different kinds of planets and settings. The Mandalorian did a pretty good job of making sure we saw a diverse range of backgrounds and settings across te episodes. Things that took place on Tatooine were in parts in the planet we'd never seen onscreen before. Episodes that took place on ships made sure that the everything was laid out distinctively from any other ships we'd seen before. All of the settings had character. I'd love to see more of that.
Also, I'm liking the trend of seeing species and robots that were previously only seen as subservient or unintelligent taking more solid roles. Despite, all the years of lore they erased, there's been some really amazing world-building going on in the Star Wars universe under Disney. At least onscreen.
And I can't wait to see Qui-Gonn. The worse thing this world ever did was cancel Liam Neeson. I don't give a damn what anyone says, he was the biggest action stat of the 2000s hands down, and he's a cinematic legend. But I'll save the Liam Neeson ravings for the episode he shows up in.
Yeah, so you may have noticed that I diligently reviewed the first twoDisney+ Marvel shows, as soon as their last episodes dropped. But anything post last summer didn't get a review. This is where I tie up those loose ends.
I thought this series was going to be a miss. I watched the first
episode and HATED it. The animation was wonky, and the voice acting from
a few of the celebrities was so bad that it took me out of the show. So I
wound up turning it off and skipping the second episode.
Boy, I couldn't have been more wrong.
I
came back in on the third episode and I've got to say, in the opinion,
of a lifelong comic-book fan, who's been following the MCU since it kicked off.
This series felt like a love-letter / tribute to the fans.
Hearing
and seeing Michael Douglas in the Yellowjacket costume was amazing. Even in the MCU, Hank Pym going batshit crazy makes sense.
Pym has made reference to the fact that continued use of his particles warps your personality, so him losing his mind has already been set up. And it brings things full-circle, because Hank Pym / Yellowjacket in the comics is a notoriously mentally unstable man, living in the shadow of his days as Ant-Man.
I thought this show was going to be some MCU-themed cartoon with a star-studded cast until the third episode. That third episode made me realize that they were indeed interested in going to those strange, and dark places the comic used to go to.
And you know, I've got to rant about the comic. My favorite issue of the comic will always be when the Nova Force (think Marvel's version of a Green Lantern Ring) starts picking unworthy people to bestow itself on. And it eventually winds up picking a cigar-smoking bank robber, who uses his new cosmic powers to (obviously) rob a bank and to (not so obviously) kill every single superhero on earth. And of course Doom, Red Skull and a bunch of other villains get pissy about this so he kills them, too. The Nova Force (again, think of it as a Green Lantern ring) absolutely, always, inexplicably picks a worthy guy. So this story where it doesn't and everything goes to hell, is a treat. All of the superheroes on earth get killed because of one tiny, little change. This story essentially asks ,"What if an actual bad person got super powers?" And it really highlights how narrowly focused most Marvel stories are, and how the characters aren't too bad even when they're supposed to be. It really flips all the narrative tropes on their head. Those are my favorite kinds of WhatIf? stories.
The Doctor Strange episode made the show seem like an MCU centered Twilight Zone. The Zombies episode was absolute perfection. That perfect blend of worldbuilding and homage. Never in a million years did I think I'd see this image -
get recreated onscreen. We'd always thought of the Zombies as something that would be lost in the aether of things that comics fans know about, but that Disney wouldn't dare touch. Things like the Hulk eating and murdering people, or Wolverine's gay son. But no, this show completely defied our expectations -
Also given that Thanos' pervert brother was apparently in the Eternals, maybe this is the edgy age of the MCU.
For context, that blue chick is Nebula ... his niece...
But seriously, every single episode of this show (except maybe the first two episodes) is worth watching. Most of the onscreen cast voice their characters (even Jeff Goldblum) and it helps the show to do a decent job of making you believe that these are the same characters we see on the big screen.
Also we got to see a proper Age of Ultron. All of the nerd rage over how small-scaled the movie was compared to that badass comic arc was extinguished. They really did it justice.
This show has Erik Kilmonger outsmarting and killing Tony Stark, which I don't think would happen in a million years. Even if Tony never got humbled by being kidnapped. This Kilmonger character is a fan favorite, because little kids and women think he's hot/cool. But Black Panther was a mediocore movie and he was a 2-D cliched villain. He sucks but he makes a lot of money on merchandising.
Sometimes the character models for the character look absolutely nothing like who they're supposed to. And in some cases they look so generic it's hard to tell who they are even supposed to be upon first glance.
Nonetheless, this show was amazing and I looked forward to watching it every week.
Wow, this was a fundamental exercise in how not to make a show. I watched every single episode of this show and I only vaguely remember what happens in it. There's just so much going on that you can't focus on any one plot thread.
Will Hawkeye make it home for Christmas? Who does Kate's mom work for? Is Armand actually hiding something? What is it? Who is Echo's uncle/boss at the head of everything? Why is Hawkeye's wife so obsessed with the watch?
That's how many threads are going on by the fourth episode. And they add more with each episode. Which makes this show a damn chore to watch. The fast-paced action and banter between Clint and Kate are addictively fun to watch. But all of that is intercut with slow-paced "secretive" and "mysterious" scenes of characters talking to unseen people, or acting unrealistically suspicious. There doesn't always have to be a big reveal, dammit. Just show us shit like a normal show. The pacing of this show isn't bad, but it just feels off.
Also, Kingpin did absolutely nothing here. He was clearly only put in this show to sync up with No Way Home's Charlie Cox Daredevil reveal. I don't at all think it's a coincidence that they perfectly timed the reveal of Vincent D'onofrio's Kingpin in this show, with the release of Spider-Man: No Way Home. The big question that had been on everyone's minds since the Netflix shows were canceled, was whether any of it would be considered canon. And the answer was "Yes, we paid those actors/showrunners millions of dollars, we'll be damned if they try to jump ship."
This show tries to adapt Matt Fraction's Hawkeye series (and steals its art style), and it cannot be understated how misguided that is. Hawkeye in the comics is completely different from the government agent with a bow and arrow that Jeremy Renner plays in the movies. Hawkeye in the comics is so badass that he went directly from a carnival to a life of crime to the Avengers. And then he eventually even led his own team of Avengers, WITH JUST A BOW AND ARROW.
Comics Hawkeye would be like if this dude became an uncatchable international thief, then turned his life around and became a world-famous Navy SEAL. But just using his darts, the whole time.
Comics Hawkeye is barely even the same character...
Speaking as a guy whose favorite DVD as a toddler was the first Raimi Spider-Man, as a guy who remembers going to the movies back in 2004 to see Spider-Man 2, as a guy who had at least two Spider-Man 3 playsets, as a kid who saved up all his money to buy the Amazing Spider-Man 2, and was disappointed and angry. This was the best Spider-Man movie ever. Every single character is done justice and each scene is perfect. This is an onscreen love letter to Spider-Man in cinema. I won't spoil anything here. Watch this one.
Anyways, I'm definitely looking forward to seeing why the hell Captain Picard is in the Doctor Strange trailer...
