Welp. I'm fucking back after my umpteenth hiatus. I don't like doing this anymore. In fact, the pressure of trying to finish a single post is a feeling I've come to despise. I used to post here every fucking day and I loved it. But I guess back then I had a lot of ideas of the person I wanted to be and who I thought I could become. I had a silly dream of becoming a musician, and being some established writer. It's not a dead dream, and honestly I've done a lot more than most people. Hell, I created and recorded multiple different episodes of a podcast. I remixed and released a few songs. I kept up this place for a few years. Hell, people read this shit.
But dammit, I'm old, now.
Age and disappointment have gotten to me. There was a time not too long ago when I was making a concerted effort to promote everything I posted here. Around the same time I was also posting for leisure. But you know time, addiction, stress, and aging have pulled me away from caring enough to trudge through the writer's block that comes with years of a lack of motivation. How many times do I pour my heart out about a movie to no one? How many songs, and albums do I review to deaf ears? I feel like a loser even complaining about this. I always said if you have a bad time writing something then people are going to have a bad time reading it. And I genuinely hate writing this shit half the time. I couldn't push through that Kenobi review series because the show sucked balls and my review was boring. I quit reviewing The Boys because I didn't want to trudge through it. I honestly don't even know whether I'm making excuses or I'm just ranting. And honestly who the fuck wants to read that shit?
But I said all that shit to say this.
Fuck this shit. No more review series, no more structured content, no more anything. I want to write whatever the fuck I want to write, how I want to write it. I don't want this place to turn into the ravings of a mad madman, but hell, no one is reading the shit in the first place, because I don't even post anything.
I think I'm just still mad about my fucking book launch failing...
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