My Facebook account says that I'm 31.
Much shit has been made about this, to the point that it's fucking aggravating. I haven't used Facebook regularly since they flagged a meme I posted as "misleading" way back in 2020. It's for old people and data miners. I'm neither of those things. Yet.
I feel the urge to explain why the hell my Facebook account says I'm 31. But it boils down to the fact that they won't let me correct it and I'm not about to make another fucking Facebook account. I don't give a shit. It's funny. I'm clearly not 31.
Anyways, I said all that to say this.
The internet is forever. Whatever you post can get screenshotted, archived, and preserved forever and ever and ever. And I personally have said some insane shit on the internet. My rule of thumb has always been to never post anything online that I wouldn't say in person. That becomes an issue when you realize the shit you'd say at 18 years old wouldn't even cross your mind at the age you are right now.
Hell, half of the shit I've posted on this very blog is ridiculously embarrassing and expository. But I admire that. Somewhere along the line, I lost the ability to be so damn open. Not only did I lose that ability, but I've even been afraid of showing that kind of vulnerability. I'm in disbelief that I was actually openly talking about how I felt and posting it on the internet for anyone to see. I'm jealous of the 18-year-old who did that. I couldn't imagine hopping on here and being like "XYZ pissed me off at my job today and I got into a fistfight last night." I don't want to read that shit, and anyone who wants to read it is fucking weird.
So in a way, seeing insane shit that I've posted on the Internet (especially stuff on this blog) helps me to see how I've grown as a person. Are there times when I wish that I hadn't said or posted certain things? Obviously yes. But the fact that I can look back on those things and say,"Oh my god, why the hell did I put that on the Internet?" shows me that not only have I matured as a person. It also proves to me that I probably have a lot more unforeseen maturing to do in the future.
And also, I think I've repeated, again, and again, and again, that I don't give a shit what anyone thinks about me as long as they're thinking about me. I came here to be remembered and if shit I did 10 years ago on the internet is having people approaching me in person right now, I think I may be doing something right. I record everything that I do, as a means of tracking my progression as a person. I firmly believe that the only person I should compare myself to; and be jealous of is myself. So honestly, when I see some stupid shit that I've posted online in the past, it makes me happy. I cringe hard. But after I cringe I can't help but be grateful that I'm aware enough not to post the same thing in the future. And the future is all I'm concerned with.
The best thing about the future is that it's being created in real-time.
By me.
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