Fucked Up Reference in LEGO DC Supervillains?

Lately, I've had a lot more free time (Yes, the song reviews are coming back, shut up.) So I've been entertaining my inner child and playing a few LEGO games. And I know I don't usually write about videogames but I've been consistently seeing mean-spirited, fucked up shit in this one game; Lego DC Supervillains.

Like in one mission you have to help this henchman do acrobatics so he can bust out of jail. And after five minutes of walking tightropes, jumping off platformer and fighting cops you've bonded with this dude. And then this shit happens. (Watch it with the audio turned off. It makes it way more fucked up.)

 

Yeah, that guy gets killed and the game doesn't even acknowledge it. Usually when you beat  someone up in this game they lie on the ground with cartoon stars circling around their head. The game tries to emphasize that they aren't dead, and you're not a murderer. I jumped down there and didn't see anything. That guy just blew up and died. Fuck him, I guess.

Before that, there's another guy dressed up like Evel Knievel who's going to motorcycle ramp into the prison. As you fix up his bike you find out it's because he's trying to break out his friend. And so you fix up the bike and the guy chickens out. So you ride the cycle over the ramp yourself. Take a look at what happens.

What the fuck? That guy would have died! Imagine this happening on a kids tv show. The villain smashes into a tree and dies while trying to jailbreak his friend.  What the fuck is wrong with this game? 

And I wouldn't be writing this post if inappropriately morbid shit like this didn't happen constantly in this game.

Some really fucked up highlights are having to solve a puzzle that genetically merges two guys into an alien, while they scream bloody murder and having to kill a bunch of old ladies to "test their combat abilities."

You can probably already tell with most of these things it's the implications that are messed up. A dumb kid wouldn't notice any of this. Which in my book makes it all the more messed up. Because someone wrote this stuff into a kid's game.

And now for the main attraction. All throughout the game you see posters for a movie called 'It Came From Krypton." It's clearly a parody of 50's science fiction movies except with Doomsday as the monster.

It's plastered everywhere and the NPC's even talk about it. It's a Joe Biden would say ,"A big fucking deal."

 During one mission you have to hack into a locker and you need a six-digit code to open it. If you look to your right you happen to see this poster -

It's an 'It Came From Krypton' movie poster with a release date under it that opens up the locker.

But wait did you see that date? It says '28-01-86'. (January 28, 1986 for my fellow non-Europeans.) 

That date on its own doesn't really stand out. But try asking Google Now (or whatever personal assistant you have.) what happened on January 28, 1986.

 

What the fuck??? 

Are we sure these guys should be making kids' games?

 

 

Edit: I am now aware that the date clearly says 29-01-86. Which was the day after the Challenger explosion. (Which has some weird implications in itself. Is this game trying to say Doomsday was responsible for the Challenger explosion?)  I am indeed tempted to say that this is just a coincidence, but given all the weird shit I showed you above, and the fact that no one passes up a chance to make these kind of references; nah. Also, there's the fact that this game is clearly not set in the fucking 80's. That specific date was selected for a reason. I just don't know why. Hell, maybe the designer's favorite character debuted on that day. Who knows? Am I overthinking this throwaway side-quest in a videogame for ten-year-old kids? Yes. Am I onto something? Probably...

 

All Lego DC Supervillains Images and Footage are © 2019 Warner Brothers, Interactive.

Shotgun Shuffle Song Review

Okay, so what I've done is hit the shuffle button on my songs to try to make getting through these reviews a little bit less tedious. That's probably going to mess things up in the future but it is what is. Now let's see what we're reviewing.

 

 

Okay, let's do it. 

Bruce Dickinson - The Ghost of Cain  

 © Universal Music Group

 

I like this track. Hell at this point, I think we all know that no one from Iron Maiden can do anything wrong. 

 

Well, anything too wrong... 

 

But when you break up the members shit just doesn't go right.

Adrian Smith and Bruce Dickinson are like the soul of Iron Maiden. As a whole, Iron Maiden is like a sports car. Bruce is the amazing paint job and Adrian is that kickass horsepower. And the rest of the guys in Maiden are like the brake system on that car. You separate them and it's a recipe for disaster. Sure, you've got something amazing for a little while. But you have no way of stopping the car when things fly off the rails. And what the hell are brakes without a car?

Pictured: The musical equivalent of brakes without a car.

And this song is a perfect example of that. It's Bruce Dickinson crooning and swooning ... about something. The lyrics don't really make much sense. It sounds amazing. But lyrically it's repetitive and it doesn't make any sense. Which is not something you could ever say about Iron Maiden. I like it, but I don't like it as much as regular Iron Maiden. 

 

Next song.

 

Ten Masked Men - Push It to the Limit

© Ten Masked Men 

 

Ten Masked Men have been making black metal covers of pop music since the 90's. They covered N'SYNC back when they were actually popular.  I like Ten Masked Men. I don't know this song, though. And most of the value of a death metal cover is how much it adds to the original song. Yes, this is a decent sounding song, as Ten Masked Men are some decent musicians. Just judging this song as a standalone song and not as a cover, it's great. It reminds of that mixture of death metal and rock that Carcass did in their early days. I could listen to this one again and again.

 

Edit: I just went back and gave the original song a listen. What in the hell was that video?

 

 

It Dies Today - Blood Stained Bed Sheets

© Trustkill Records

 

Right off the bat, this edgy fucking title turns me right the hell off. And the crazy riffing and screaming does not help. This song is pure early metalcore. It doesn't sound melodic enough to listen to for pleasure and the clean singing and weak screaming would make it a bad listen for when you're angry. And Jesus Christ, the production is so shitty, it sounds like I recorded this song off the radio. This is bad metalcore and I don't even know why I have it saved. I could've gone without ever hearing this. 

 

Intermission From Doom 

© Id Software

Are we really doing this? 

 

This song reminds of all the times I rage-quit or put on invincibility, because of how many times I'd die repeatedly on E2M3. Especially in that big fucking room towards the end with all the flashing lights. There's always an imp or an invisible fucker waiting around the corner to kill me right when I let my guard down. I can't find any pictures of it, but if you know, you know.

I don't know how I've never mentioned this here, but I've been a religious Doom player since high-school. 

 

Also, apparently Bobby Prince ripped off this Pantera track to make this song. I don't really hear it but this article IS suffering from a severe lack of Pantera.

 

 

Attack Attack! - AC-130 (Remix) 

© Rise Records

It's been so long since I've heard the original AC-130 (or listened to Attack Attack! for that matter) that I have no clue what it sounds like anymore. This remix on the other hand, sounds like Deadmau5 if he made music exclusively for the niche demographic that both take ecstasy for fun and frequent hot topic. Which is to say that it's decent. I ain't actively seeking out to listen to music like this, but it was decent background noise as I wrote about Doom for five minutes. 

Edit: I'm listening to Smokahontas as I edit this and this song has the most insane breakdown I've heard in my life. It went-  ¡El pollo no hablas English hermanos! [Bubblegum pop music] 

 

 

Chasing Safety - Far Away

© Fearless Records
 

 

Speaking of metalcore, Chasing Safety is literally one of the first metalcore bands I started listening to. And to my surprise this song still holds up. Unlike It Dies Today, the singing is decent, and the screaming is pretty nasty. It's an excellent blend of two opposite ends of the musical spectrum. Melody and chaos come together as one. And dammit, that's all it takes to make good metalcore. Not two-minute breakdowns, endless uninspired chugging and cringeworthy crab-walking...

 

All That Remains - Two Weeks

© Prosthetic Records
 

As if the universe is trying to call me out for being a lazy fuck, somehow a song from the exact review that I've been putting off for the past six months is on the shuffle list. I've written about this song three or four times but I've never actually published any of it. So here's a sneak peek of The ABC's of Song Reviewing: All That Remains Part 4 via screenshot - 

 Don't say I never did anything nice for you. 

 

Darkest Hour - Paradise

© Victory Records
 

Jesus Christ, this is a perfect way to end this review. This song sounds exactly like In Flames with a black metal vocalist. And I never knew I needed to hear that until now. And the way they let the song end with the chorus and then just two more guitar notes is the perfect formula to make you smash the replay button. (Or whatever normal people have.)

I don't have anything else to say here. I'm pretty satisfied with my awesome music collection. I don't like that there weren't any outrageous tracks (And believe me, there's some RIDICULOUS stuff, that I can't even review saved on this phone.) But I think my music player tries to push the tracks you're more likely to listen to towards the top when you hit shuffle (Which is why there was an All That Remains song in the list.) I kept scrolling down and half the shit I've never listened to was towards the middle of the list.  So maybe if I do this again, I'll shuffle, close my eyes and then scroll down for a bit. 

 

Now fuck off, I've got to add a bunch of copyright shit so this article doesn't get taken down.

 

 

Steve Harris British Lion © 2012 Parlophone Records

Iron Maiden 'The Angel and the Gambler' © 1998 EMI

Evernote Premium Can Fuck Off

So Evernote, is a note-taking service that stores your messages in the cloud. You can write notes on your phone, and then you can access those same notes from any computer, using the Evernote website. I've been using it to write my to-do lists, and to take notes for the last three years. This is not a misplaced advertisement for Evernote.

AFTER THREE YEARS OF SERVICE EVERNOTE HAS DECIDED TO START CHARGING FOR THEIR WEB SERVICE.

It used to be that you could only connect two mobile devices to Evernote and you could connect to the web anywhere without it counting towards your device limit. Which makes sense. On the phone it's an application. On the computer its just a website. You can't connect an infinite amount of phones for free. That would be ridiculous. They have to make their money, somehow. That's reasonable. 

But now after three years they're counting connecting to the website towards your two device limit. Which as I just said. since Evernote is a fucking website, makes no sense. 

But I know why they're doing this. No one wants to buy their shitty premium service, because there's no reason to. Every other month for the past three years I've been hit with "Buy Evernote Premium for $4.99 a month! This is an exclusive deal. We sure as hell won't give you the exact same deal next month!" And since none of that stupid shit worked they're deciding to start changing shit up. Which in my case is fine. I don't necessarily need to use Evernote on my Tablet. I'll stick to using it on my phone and the internet. Or I could just find another fucking service all together. Either way, Evernote just fucked itself and did the opposite of what they intended. I'm not going to buy your stupid premium. It's not worth buying. If anything, I can just use Google Docs on an infinite amount of devices for free. And guess what? Now, since I'm not going to be using Evernote on my tablet, I'm going to uninstall it.