Alright, welcome back! This is an ongoing series where I alphabetically go through my music collection and tell you guys what I think. Last week we looked at my 3 Doors Down collection.
This week we're tackling 3 Inches of Blood!
Think Amon Amarth, if Amon Amarth had the vocal range of Priest, the shredding of Maiden and the lyrics of ...
Steel Panther. Yeah, these guys are moderate at best in the lyrical department. The lyrics can range from really catchy to ... you'll see.
© Century Media Records
Metal Woman
This
song kicks off with a bass riff. That's a win in my book. Mere seconds in the vocalist is showing off an impressive. But the lyrics are - cringeworthy.
The video makes it ten times worse. And I get it. leather is awesome, metal is awesome, sounding like Priest is badass. But the thing about Judas Priest's more
sexualized songs is that they're written from a sort of ambiguous point of
view. They could be about a man or a woman. That stopped Halford from
ever shrieking about high-heels, lipstick, and long nails. I can't help but laugh at the line "Demon in the sack" being screamed like it's a battle cry. Something
about this vocal style don't really work with that kind of subject matter.
Machine guns
and war? Yeah. Slaying orcs in the heart of Mordor? Shit yes! Studded
leather on a fineass metal babe? Not so much. Save that for Pop Evil. I
find the lyrics a little bit easier to stomach if you just imagine
they're singing about some kind of iron succubus or something a little
more badass.
Gwyneth Paltrow works...
© Marvel
My Sword Will Not Sleep
Yup,
this is one of their most popular songs. And boy is it capital 'B'
badass. I've never experienced a band that uses stereo channels like 3
inches of Blood. During the intro the riffing and the drumming are
played in separate ears. (Take off one earbud and listen for yourself.) And then everything just melds together with one
long Halford-esque scream.
And as far as the lyrics go, this is one of their best. Just listen. I don't know what the antagonist of this song did, but they pissed off the singer. And he's going to kill them for
it. And their family. And their friends. They clearly should not have fucked with this man.
© Comedy Central
That's some gangsta-ass shit.
Leather Lord
This song shreds. There's
a breakdown from like 1:05 to 2:20. And there's a vocal part three
minutes in that kicks off a badass outro. This song is awesome. Except
for the chorus. The chorus is terrible. Now, I don't know who the
fuck the Leather Lord is but he sure as hell ruined this track. Every time these
guys were starting to sound badass they just had to transition right back to generic Judas Priest tribute band.
No.
No.
Don't do this shit. I have too many songs left on this album.
Chief and The Blade
Ah. The
oft maligned but never forgotten instrumental track. I've never understood
these. Are they filler? Are
they jam sessions that never become songs? What is the point of these?
© Tootsie Roll Industries
Nevertheless, this one is pretty catchy and it sounds like the whole band (minus the vocalist) is playing. It definitely fits the vibe of the album, (despite not seguing into the next song.) I could definitely picture a viking party jamming this on medieval instruments as they sail away from a successful raid.
Dark Messenger
Alright,
this shit kicks off with an acoustic guitar riff. It's fast as hell. Too fast for acoustic. It transitions to electric. Cool and good.
Then they start back up on that Judas Priest shit.
I like Judas Priest. You like Judas Priest. I'm not saying that Judas Priest is the only band that should use this vocal style. It's just kind of off-putting when these guys were death-growling and chugging just two songs ago.
I like Judas Priest. You like Judas Priest. I'm not saying that Judas Priest is the only band that should use this vocal style. It's just kind of off-putting when these guys were death-growling and chugging just two songs ago.
I honestly was about to turn the song off, then they started pounding those axes like the Vikings they are.
This song has the best dual guitar solo (So far, just sit tight.) on the album. Unfortunately the lyrics sound like something written by a high-schooler who just
discovered Lord of the Rings. But hey, it could be worse.
They could have just discovered Motley Crüe and BDSM simultaneously.
Look Out
© Century Media Records
Now this is how you do a tribute right! The chorus comes right out of an Iron Maiden song. The solo and outro sound just like Diamond Head. I love it. Why is it any different than them sounding like Priest before? They at least keep a consistent sound throughout. The riffing and high-pitched singing isn't interrupted with chugging and death-growling. This song is a classic heavy metal epic all the wav throughout. After all, the name of the album is Long Live Heavy Metal. Maybe I'm being too hard on these bros.
Editor's Note: Fitting as this song is a tribute to none other than Lord of Heavy Metal Ronnie James Dio! Unfortunately, I didn't know this when I was writing the above.
4,000 Torches
This track is badass. It's about a spy being caught in the night by enemy forces only to see his 4,000 countrymen galloping down the mountains all carrying torches. Imagine if in First Blood, right before those Viet Cong cut into Rambo's chest he looked out the window and saw 4,000 American tanks plowing through the rice fields. That's basically what this song is about!
Side note, the one thing 3 Inches of Blood has in common with Amon Amarth is that when they write about something, they go all in on the concept. Every war cry is layered with gang vocals. The song is literally the story of a battle with the solo being the bridge between the main battle and the aftermath. They make you feel like you're there fighting alongside them. Which is insane because they weren't there either!
Side note, the one thing 3 Inches of Blood has in common with Amon Amarth is that when they write about something, they go all in on the concept. Every war cry is layered with gang vocals. The song is literally the story of a battle with the solo being the bridge between the main battle and the aftermath. They make you feel like you're there fighting alongside them. Which is insane because they weren't there either!
This song is really evocative of another classic heavy metal band. Apart from the vocals it sounds exactly like Kill Em' All era Metallica. At this point, we'll call that an accident. It doesn't detract from the song either way.
Leave It On The Ice
This shit pounds right out of the gate. It's another tale of an epic battle. But this time it's a one on one. The double bass and the chugging put you right in the middle of it. You're locking eyes and smashing faces. It's a fucking war. You're a belligerent hockey player duking it out on the ice.
Hockey: The most metal sport.
© Evolve Media
Die For Gold (Upon the Boiling Sea IV)
This song is the band's fourth in a saga that tells the tale of a greedy sea captain in search of riches. It would be blasphemy for me not to recommend the first three. (1, 2, 3.) I'm not going to spoil the story in case you guys actually want to follow the narrative. This song riffs a little harder than the rest of the tracks and the solo is groovy as a smoothy. I'm not sure if it was written for the same album as the other installments but it somewhat feels like it.
Storming Juno
This song is directly inspired by the story of three Canadians that stormed Normandy during D-Day. But the song itself is more reminiscent of D-Day and war itself. The pre-chorus has the vocalist switching between his scream and his Halford voice. It's amazing. And the outro just screams feels. The vocalist belts out and the guitarists sweep up and down. The one thing these guys didn't make sound badass was fighting during D-Day. They made that shit sound horrifying and scarring. Rightfully so, I guess.
Men of Fortune
The best intro riff on the album hands down. It's so badass both guitarists join in. In contrast, this track is arguably the most tame. Yet somehow it's the most inspiring. It's about glory and being destined to chase it and obtain it. Around three minutes in, the track progresses into this slow, somber-sounding piece. And right when you think they've completely mellowed out, they start chanting and the shredding kicks back in. This is a true song of the gods and vikings. This track ends with the same riff it begins with. I'm a sucker for that.
One for the Ditch
The last song on the album is another instrumental. And a damn good one. Everyone goes in on this bad boy. I know this had to arise out of a badass jam session. I'm not spoiling a thing. Click it and listen.
My Takeaways
So while doing this review I found out quite a bit about these guys. One, these guys are very well-known for being the long-bearded NWOBHM tribute band. Their lyrics are also purposely over the top, which is why some of them are actually well-written. Two, these guys changed vocalists a few times and the first guy complimented the Halford-esque squealing far better than the guy on this album. But, I like this band, alot. I'm a huge fan of NWOBHM and this band obviously is, too. I don't really get the death-growling and the intentionally over-the-top lyrics but it's good to know they don't take themselves too seriously. I'd definitely recommend this band to other people and I know I'm going to be checking out more of their stuff. The biggest and best takeaway is that their first album is fucking amazing.
Next week -
3 Years Hollow!
Next week -
3 Years Hollow!
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