Alphabetically Reviewing My Music Collection Week 4: Abriosis and The Abyss

Alrighty, so this week we're tackling Abriosis, a tech death band out of Vancouver - wait a second...

Is that a fucking woman?

Great Scott, it is!
© Top40 Charts

I guess that's cool. It's not every day I review a band fronted by a chick.

 I don't listen to that much crunkcore, y'know?

I don't know where the hell I got their song Peering Into Oblivion, but that's what we're listening to today. I've never listened to this before, so it should be a pleasant surprise.

Peering Into Oblivion

© Omega Media

This sounds like your average Tech-Death offering to me. I like the part a minute and a half in when the vocalist starts screaming and growling and the guitarist shreds in between. The vocalist has a pretty impressive range too. For the most part, she sticks to the high screams, but she has some pretty gnarly gutturals. The guitars sound like something out of a Black Sabbath album. To be honest, apart from the harsh vocals and the blast beats, this song has a doom-metal vibe to it. I can dig that. 

The video version has different mixing than the album version. The drums sound like weak dick in the video version, and the vocals are a lot less prominent. (Listen for yourself.)

What Do I Think

I checked out the rest of the songs on this band's EP. Their guitarist is really good. The vocalist can scream her ass off. But to sum my feelings about this band up. They're nothing special. 

I'm not the biggest tech-death fan. I feel like Tech-Death is a genre for people who want to be impressed by their listening experience rather than entertained by it. That's not me.

Next band!

The Abyss...

Or should I say ...

Swedish Death Metal Gods Hypocrisy???

That's right. The Abyss was a black metal side project Hypocrisy took up in the 90's. And I honestly have no clue how I didn't pick up on Tagtren's signature air raid siren screeching until now. 

Satan's Majestic Empire

Black Metal gets a bad rap as the genre about praising Satan, that is exclusively recorded on the shittiest equipment possible.

I wish I were exaggerating.

© Varg Vikernes

Everything is dark, including the imagery, the lyrics and the artwork. Goats, Satan, facepaint, Varg, what can I say that hasn't been said. 

First off, I'm 45% sure this is satirical. Despite, this shit sounds pretty good. It's really reminiscent of Darkthrone. Which is an all-around win. Tagtren's vocals are very offputting. But going back and listening to actual black metal, if he's doing an impression of that vocal style, he actually doesn't sound too far off. The guitar has just the right amount of distortion and fuzz.  The snares are pounding in the background. And everything is perfectly melded together for that trve- kvlt production quality.

What Do I Think

All in all, I'm not a gigantic black metal fan, because I think it represents everything wrong with metal as a whole. That said, this doesn't even really sound like black metal so much as someone imitating it. But what kills it the most for me is the Tagtren's vocals. He sounds like a retarded cartoon villain. And the edgy subject matter doesn't help at all.  

As always I listened to some more of their music. This entire album sounds like one long-ass song to me. Their next record, The Other Side was pretty dope. The production was way better, and it was more listenable from an instrumental standpoint. It was almost reminiscent of In Flames or Edge of Sanity. But once again I really couldn't get behind Tagtren's vocals. Ruined the whole damn experience. Needless to say, I probably won't be listening to anymore Abyss.





Next week I'll be tackling one of my favorite melodeath bands - The Absence!

See ya there!

Scooby-Doo Unmasking Picture © 1969 -1970 Hanna - Barbera Productions

Abyss and Hypocrisy Pictures © 1996 -2013 Nuclear Blast

Chris Fronzak Picture © 2016 Sharptone Records

The Absence Picture © 2018 Metal Blade Records

Alphabetically Reviewing My Music Collection Week 3: 3 Years Hollow and 38 Special

Welcome back to the third installment of me indexing through my music collection alphabetically, and telling you guys what I think.

You may be wondering why all of a sudden, I'm doing two bands. There's three reasons for that.  I only have these two bands left until we get into the letter A.  (I know, I'm excited too!) There are only two songs across the two of them and it would be a waste of time for me to review them separately. And spending three weeks on the number 3 is quite fitting.

So our first band this week is 3 Years Hollow!

© Noisecreep

Chemical Ride

© Imagen Records

The video for this song is ...very poorly directed (I got into that on Tuesday). But we wouldn't be looking at this song if I thought it was bad.

The vocalist gives an amazing performance. He's living inside these lyrics and you can hear the emotion in his vocals. He absolutely makes this song. Not to suck his dick but I couldn't compliment this guy enough. He can clearly sing his ass off.

The main riff isn't anything too complex on its own. By itself, it sounds a little dissonant. But it really compliments the rest of the track. As an added bonus his song was produced by Sevendust's Clint Lowery (And believe me I can't wait to tackle them.)

Taking the entire song at face value it sticks out to me that the album version and the video version are different. The vocals and the guitar are mixed way more prominently in the album version. Which probably has something to do with the single being released a full two years before the album! They pulled a Thanos on that promotion.

But first, I'mma wait two years...
© Marvel

Apart from this song, I checked out "Ascension" off of their first album and "For Life" off of this one. I can definitely see why Clint was drawn to them. These bros sound identical to early Sevendust. The vocalist can carry a tune till the cows come home. The axeman (Clint's role in Sevendust) is ridiculously talented. The one thing they're missing is an uber-talented drummer. Three Years Hollow is basically Sevendust-lite. Which isn't a bad thing at all. I'm definitely going to be listening to some more of their stuff.




The second band we're looking at today is 38 Special!

Whoops, wrong pic.

There we go...

So before we even start, you already know I've got to address the fact that 38 Special is fronted by Donnie Van Zant.  That's right he's the middle brother of Lynyrd Skynyrd frontmen Johnny and Ronnie Van Zant. And you can definitely hear it in his voice. This week we're looking at one of their biggest singles (It hit number ten on the Billboard Hot 100)

Caught Up In You

© A&M Records

Have you ever heard a song that's so optimistic and catchy that no matter how hard you try not to, you always find yourself singing along? That's this song for me. When the breakdown starts and those layered vocals hit, you'll feel like a rockstar singing along.

Something inspiring about Van Zant and crew is that they don't sound conventional at all. But they make the best of what they got. Every little note,  every guitar lick, and drum fill sound perfect. But at the same time, they sound easygoing and simplistic. But I guess that's the gist of Southern Rock.

I ain't much for songs about being smitten, but there's a certain charm to the way these lyrics are crafted that makes the subject matter not only tolerable but relateable. and I know I already said this but goddamit that breakdown is pure heaven. Not a single EDM, metalcore or deathcore can compare to that breakdown in my book.

Marshmello, eat your heart out.

Apart from this song, you know goddamn well I've heard "Hold On Loosely." I learned to drive to that song (Which is possibly why I still don't have a license.) That song has a lot more riffing than "Caught Up In You." It just generally feels a lot more Southern Rock while "Caught Up In You" is more or less pop. But that's about all I've heard from these boys. And honestly that's fine with me, I'm more of a Molly Hatchet kind of guy.

Next week - Abriosis!

 

Revolver Picture © 2019 Arms Unlimited

38 Special Picture © 2000 Interscope Records

Gary Moffat Picture ©1995 - 2015 Pearl Corporation

Everything Else © 2019 It's Mine Fuck Off Thieves

Quickie: 3 Years Hollow - Chemical Ride Music Video Confusion

Note: This isn't the 3 Years Hollow review, I just realized that I was taking way too much time breaking down the music video. Instead of deleting all of this, I decided to make a new post.

© Imagen Records

This music video was the most WTF shit I've seen in a while. Not in a surreal, "What's going on?" kind of way. But more in a "Why would they do this, who let them do this?" kind of way.



First off this video is from 2011, yet it has a Davenport location tag. YouTube didn't allow location tags until 2017. These bros are so proud of their Davenport heritage that they went back and put that tag on a video that was already SIX YEARS OLD.  

And I'm all for repping your hometown, but Davenport, Iowa? Do you know what comes up when I Google Search "Davenport Celebrities?" Celebrity Style Wigs and Accessories of Davenport. No one is from Davenport.

Just to really hammer the point home, I type in 'Des Moines Celebrities' and I get Brandon Routh, Corey Taylor, and a couple gymnasts. At least something comes up. So right off the bat the bar has been set very low with this shit. And somehow it drops.

You ever wonder why bands always have random actors be the protagonists in their music videos? I always did until I watched this shit. I wouldn't want my face associated with the narrative of this wonky music video.

So in the video the lead singer is banging this chick. And then she brings him a pregnancy test (it's clearly positive) and they're all happy and embracing. (This lasts for at least five seconds, it's kind of drawn out.) Then we see more happy footage. The dude buys her jewelry. They make out in the snow. They roll around in bed and shit like that. All of this is intercut with the woman driving in the car crying her eyes out. And then the lady shoots herself. Like out of nowhere we see a gun, a few more seconds of happy footage, next second gunshot, lady is dead. And the video ends with the lead singer visiting her grave with a little girl (which I'm pretty sure is supposed to be their baby.)  

 What the fuck did I miss?

So I rewatched. Apparently they get into a fight over some papers. I don't know what the fuck was on them, but they pissed her off enough to make her run off. And then she T-Boned another car? But the way it's shot her head flies back and there's a sound effect of a gun chamber emptying. Which I guess makes more sense than her just randomly shooting herself.

I believe the big issue here was the directing. The crash and the argument are really quick cuts. But then we have a two second shot of my man eating on the bed.

 I honestly laughed out loud at this...

This video was really confusing. If I hadn't watched again with keen eyes I wouldn't have know what the fuck was going on. And to be fair, it wasn't the bands fault. I'd blame the George Lucas of the video - Davo Paul.

Mononymous so you can't find his ass...

Honestly, this dude dropped the ball on this video. 

But anyway stay tuned for the full review on Sunday.

Alphabetically Reviewing My Music Collection Week 2: 3 Inches of Blood

Alright, welcome back! This is an ongoing series where I alphabetically go through my music collection and tell you guys what I think. Last week we looked at my 3 Doors Down collection.

This week we're tackling 3 Inches of Blood!

Think Amon Amarth, if Amon Amarth had the vocal range of Priest, the shredding of Maiden and the lyrics of ...

Steel Panther. Yeah, these guys are moderate at best in the lyrical department. The lyrics can range from really catchy to ... you'll see.

Metal Woman

 © Century Media Records

This song kicks off with a bass riff. That's a win in my book. Mere seconds in the vocalist is showing off an impressive. But the lyrics are - cringeworthy. The video makes it ten times worse. And I get it. leather is awesome, metal is awesome, sounding like Priest is badass. But the thing about Judas Priest's more sexualized songs is that they're written from a sort of ambiguous point of view. They could be about a man or a woman. That stopped Halford from ever shrieking about high-heels, lipstick, and long nails. I can't help but laugh at the line "Demon in the sack" being screamed like it's a battle cry. Something about this vocal style don't really work with that kind of subject matter. 

Machine guns and war? Yeah. Slaying orcs in the heart of Mordor? Shit yes! Studded leather on a fineass metal babe? Not so much. Save that for Pop Evil. I find the lyrics a little bit easier to stomach if you just imagine they're singing about some kind of iron succubus or something a little more badass.

 Gwyneth Paltrow works...

© Marvel

My Sword Will Not Sleep

Yup, this is one of their most popular songs. And boy is it capital 'B' badass. I've never experienced a band that uses stereo channels like 3 inches of Blood. During the intro the riffing and the drumming are played in separate ears. (Take off one earbud and listen for yourself.) And then everything just melds together with one long Halford-esque scream. 

And as far as the lyrics go, this is one of their best. Just listen. I don't know what the antagonist of this song did, but they pissed off the singer. And he's going to kill them for it. And their family. And their friends. They clearly should not have fucked with this man.

© Comedy Central

That's some gangsta-ass shit.

Leather Lord

 © Century Media Records

 

This song shreds.  There's a breakdown from like 1:05 to 2:20. And there's a vocal part three minutes in that kicks off a badass outro. This song is awesome. Except for the chorus. The chorus is terrible. Now, I don't know who the fuck the Leather Lord is but he sure as hell ruined this track.  Every time these guys were starting to sound badass they just had to transition right back to generic Judas Priest tribute band.  

No. 

Don't do this shit. I have too many songs left on this album.

 

Chief and The Blade

 

Ah. The oft maligned but never forgotten instrumental track. I've never understood these. Are they filler? Are they jam sessions that never become songs? What is the point of these?

 © Tootsie Roll Industries

Nevertheless, this one is pretty catchy and it sounds like the whole band (minus the vocalist) is playing. It definitely fits the vibe of the album, (despite not seguing into the next song.) I could definitely picture a viking party jamming this on medieval instruments as they sail away from a successful raid.

 

Dark Messenger

 

Alright, this shit kicks off with an acoustic guitar riff. It's fast as hell. Too fast for acoustic. It transitions to electric. Cool and good. 

Then they start back up on that Judas Priest shit.

I like Judas Priest. You like Judas Priest. I'm not saying that Judas Priest is the only band that should use this vocal style. It's just kind of off-putting when these guys were death-growling and chugging just two songs ago.  

I honestly was about to turn the song off, then they started pounding those axes like the Vikings they are. This song has the best dual guitar solo (So far, just sit tight.) on the album. Unfortunately the lyrics sound like something written by a high-schooler who just discovered Lord of the Rings. But hey, it could be worse.

They could have just discovered Motley Crüe and BDSM simultaneously.

Look Out

 

  © Century Media Records

Now this is how you do a tribute right! The chorus comes right out of an Iron Maiden song. The solo and outro sound just like Diamond Head. I love it. Why is it any different than them sounding like Priest before? They at least keep a consistent sound throughout. The riffing and high-pitched singing isn't interrupted with chugging and death-growling. This song is a classic heavy metal epic all the wav throughout. After all, the name of the album is Long Live Heavy Metal. Maybe I'm being too hard on these bros.

Editor's Note: Fitting as this song is a tribute to none other than Lord of Heavy Metal Ronnie James Dio! Unfortunately, I didn't know this when I was writing the above.

4,000 Torches 

 

This track is badass. It's about a spy being caught in the night by enemy forces only to see his 4,000 countrymen galloping down the mountains all carrying torches. Imagine if in First Blood, right before those Viet Cong cut into Rambo's chest he looked out the window and saw 4,000 American tanks plowing through the rice fields. That's basically what this song is about! 

Side note, the one thing 3 Inches of Blood has in common with Amon Amarth is that when they write about something, they go all in on the concept. Every war cry is layered with gang vocals. The song is literally the story of a battle with the solo being the bridge between the main battle and the aftermath. They make you feel like you're there fighting alongside them. Which is insane because they weren't there either!

This song is really evocative of another classic heavy metal band. Apart from the vocals it sounds exactly like Kill Em' All era Metallica. At this point, we'll call that an accident. It doesn't detract from the song either way.

Leave It On The Ice

This shit pounds right out of the gate. It's another tale of an epic battle. But this time it's a one on one.  The double bass and the chugging put you right in the middle of it. You're locking eyes and smashing faces. It's a fucking war. You're a belligerent hockey player duking it out on the ice.

  Hockey: The most metal sport.

 © Evolve Media

Die For Gold (Upon the Boiling Sea IV)

This song is the band's fourth in a saga that tells the tale of a greedy sea captain in search of riches. It would be blasphemy for me not to recommend the first three. (1, 2, 3.) I'm not going to spoil the story in case you guys actually want to follow the narrative. This song riffs a little harder than the rest of the tracks and the solo is groovy as a smoothy. I'm not sure if it was written for the same album as the other installments but it somewhat feels like it.

Storming Juno

 © Century Media Records

This song is directly inspired by the story of three Canadians that stormed Normandy during D-Day.  But the song itself is more reminiscent of D-Day and war itself. The pre-chorus has the vocalist switching between his scream and his Halford voice. It's amazing. And the outro just screams feels. The vocalist belts out and the guitarists sweep up and down. The one thing these guys didn't make sound badass was fighting during D-Day. They made that shit sound horrifying and scarring. Rightfully so, I guess.

Men of Fortune

 

The best intro riff on the album hands down. It's so badass both guitarists join in. In contrast, this track is arguably the most tame. Yet somehow it's the most inspiring. It's about glory and being destined to chase it and obtain it.  Around three minutes in, the track progresses into this slow, somber-sounding piece. And right when you think they've completely mellowed out, they start chanting and the shredding kicks back in. This is a true song of the gods and vikings. This track ends with the same riff it begins with. I'm a sucker for that.

One for the Ditch

The last song on the album is another instrumental. And a damn good one. Everyone goes in on this bad boy. I know this had to arise out of a badass jam session.  I'm not spoiling a thing. Click it and listen.

My Takeaways

So while doing this review I found out quite a bit about these guys. One, these guys are very well-known for being the long-bearded NWOBHM tribute band. Their lyrics are also purposely over the top, which is why some of them are actually well-written. Two, these guys changed vocalists a few times and the first guy complimented the Halford-esque squealing far better than the guy on this album. But, I like this band, alot. I'm a huge fan of NWOBHM and this band obviously is, too. I don't really get the death-growling and the intentionally over-the-top lyrics but it's good to know they don't take themselves too seriously. I'd definitely recommend this band to other people and I know I'm going to be checking out more of their stuff.  The biggest and best takeaway is that their first album is fucking amazing.




Next week -


3 Years Hollow!

Alphabetically Reviewing My Music Collection Week 1: 3 Doors Down

So over the past couple of years, I've accumulated a metric ass-ton of music. Whether that be digital or physical copies, I've got a helluva lot of music. This morning I was just scrolling through my phone looking at all of the shit I don't listen to anymore trying to figure out a way to respark that relationship. Well, I've been trying to get back into reviewing music of late. Unfortunately, to little success. What better way to smash those two birds with one stone than to catalog through my music collection alhabetically, analyzing every single artist?

I can think of at least five off the top of my head, but whatever.
© Shutterstock

Let's hop right into it. 

Today's band is going to be Three Dog Night!

© Getty Images

Yeah right. 

You read the title. I'm going to be looking at three 3 Doors Down songs. (A fitting number.)

Kryptonite 

© Universal Music Group

I'mma start by saying this intro reminds me of a marching band. Can't you just picture the little drummer boy playing that opening drum fill? I know I can. 

Superman and Jesus are basically the same guy anyway...

I like this song. It's a crime that it wasn't in Man of Steel. One of my fondest childhood memories is of me repeatedly belting the chorus out at 12 AM only for my mum to scream for me to "Shut the fuck up!" My mum never swears. Good times.

Better Life 

© Universal Music Group

I was today years old when I discovered this song. This shit is funky. It has some interesting lyrics. Also, these guys straight-up lifted that break down riff from Annihilator. So bonus points for effective plagiarism.

© Roadrunner Records

And if you aren't familiar with Annihilator, oh don't worry. You will be by the end of this.

You will be.

Anyways, on to the next song.

Loser

© Universal Music Group

Yup, the sad boy anthem. Somehow, I never heard this song growing up. YouTube kept trying to sneak it into my nostalgia mix but I'd skip it every time. I finally cracked and listened to it. And listened to it. and listened to it again. And then it was stuck in my head for the next couple of days. This song is catchy as fuck to be so depressing. After all, who hasn't felt like this at some point in their life? Even if just for one shitty afternoon. It's a good track.

Songs I Wish I Had / I've Heard Before

I actually only have three of their songs. But back before the city castrated our rock station, they played the fuck out of "When I'm Gone." That shit is dope. My first introduction to them was "It's Not My Time." VH1 used to play that video every morning when it first came out. Nowadays I always hear "Here Without You" on the radio. It's grown on me, but I don't really like it. Honestly, I think this band is too sappy. "Here Without You" is exactly that, so it's fitting that it gets the most airplay. And before anyone sends me angry emails claiming that they used to go hard, consider the fact that they're clearly not presenting themselves that way anymore. That's not my cup of tea.

Final Verdict

This band is a bit too sappy. There's a thin line between post-grunge and sounding like a downtuned little bitch. This band post-2007 seems like they crossed it. I'll go listen to Katatonia if I want to hear someone cry. At least they're sincere in their presentation. 

Next week's band - 3 Inches of Blood!