February - May Reading Roundup

It's been a metric ass-ton of time since I posted one of these. I think in February I was trying hella hard to read two pages out of two different books a day. I read five now on a good day. Which is about five hours dedicated to reading a day. 

It sounds like a lot, but I assure you, there are many different things sprinkled in between. I don't just sit down and read for five hours straight. And I'm not plowing through five books daily (that's the goal), I'm going excerpt to excerpt taking notes. This post is going to be tame because I feel some of the questionable stuff I've posted here is killing my fucking career prospects. But at this point, it ain't like I'm up to my neck in job offers, in the first place. Admittedly I find it embarrassing to talk about some of these books. I'm trying to teach myself to fall in love with the actions that I do and not the anticipated rewards. Even though according to one of these books that's not how the brain works...

The Four Agreements

The Four Agreements is a relatively short book at 84 pages, which can be read in an afternoon (which took me a month to read). This book offers a fascinating take on ancient Toltec wisdom and the path to freedom, explaining how most people think thoughts that are not their own, and these thoughts can be negative and do them harm. Don Miguel Ruiz and his son dedicate their lives to preserving the principles of ancient Toltec wisdom in modern literature, which I admire.

But here's the big idea. The path to Toltec freedom is to wake up every day and to take an oath to be yourself. That's all. Be your fucking self. Do your fucking best no matter what. Love everyone. Do no harm. especially not to yourself.

Dating Essentials for Men

On this blog, I have a pretty storied history with the works of Dr. Robert Glover. He's a therapist who writes books on masculinity and self-help. Or at least, that's the image he presents to sell his books. They're usually much more introspective and melancholic reading than you'd initially presume. Dr. Glover is damn good at making you remember that you sometimes literally can't judge a book by its cover.  

Once again, Dr. Glover pulls the caper of baiting readers with a specific topic and then doing a 180 and shifting to another subject entirely. As a whole, the book focuses on building social skills and working on personal flaws through effort and dedication instead of selling pickup techniques. And by the time you're reading the dating shit, you've made so many life changes that you don't even give a shit about that part anymore. The problem was the way you thought about the problem. Not the problem itself. I cannot stress enough that this book is not about pick-up techniques or trying to become James Bond; it's about changing one's worldview to lead a healthier life. 

The first and most important half of this book is a neuroscientific deep-dive into insecurities, self-limiting beliefs, and isolation, exploring why some men experience them and how to overcome them through effort and dedication. This "Mastering Your Mind" section is the book's most significant and valuable portion. 

For me, the book's impact was significant. I wound up in the same room with Steven Spielberg, I got free tons of shit and I've done tons of things that I never would've tried before. I also came to realize that I had already gotten ALOT of attention from women in my life, but I either wasn't paying attention or didn't know what the fuck was going on at the moment, because I (very ironically) was beating myself over the head for being unsuccessful with women and all kinds of unhealthy shit. 

You will never be able to receive or appreciate anything in life if you don't hold onto, love, and embrace what you already fucking have. This book taught me that. 

Atomic Habits

Atomic Habits and Dating Essentials had a significant impact on me when I read them simultaneously. This is why I can adamantly say that the shit in both books works.  I've been reading three books a day and have rebuilt multiple relationships, and made significant progress on things I never would have attempted before. Reading these two books was like a one-two punch, rewiring the way I thought about thinking. I now know I can change myself quickly and orient myself toward anything I want.

The most significant benefit of Atomic Habits was its emphasis on using automation. I took this to heart and started using ChatGPT to do everything I didn't need to do myself. This included finding answers to things I didn't know how to solve, which led me to start asking questions about myself and the things I've learned. In the end, I began writing down my life story, deep-diving into the different aspects of the things I learned and the intricacies of my life. This process has kinda changed the way I see and do things and it solidified to me Dr. Glover's view that there is nothing inherently wrong with any of us. 

The 6 Pillars of Self-Esteem

Every now and then a book comes along and it calls you an immature, irresponsible man-child and tells you to get your shit together. I call those books soul-rippers, because your mind winds up in therapy questioning who you are after you read them.

I don't want to be treated so harshly. But if no one has ever told you to (or showed you how to) act like a fucking adult then you need to hear it from somewhere, even if it is a damn book. 

I'm still reading The 6 Pillars of Self-Esteem, and so far, it has been a challenging read that is difficult to put down. It's been harder to read than No More Mr. Nice Guy (which was probably the hardest thing I've ever read in my life), and I find myself wanting to read fiction instead. Nonetheless, it's a beautiful book, and I'm enjoying what I'm reading so far. Most of the time, the content is painful, but there is nothing wrong with that. 

My biggest takeaway has been that I'm a real person and my actions have very very real consequences regardless of whether I acknowledge them or not. It doesn't matter how much someone obstructed my autonomy in the past, I'm a man with his own willpower and capabilities good and bad. 

The world isn't a motherfucking nursery. Everyone got their shit kicked in. We all just gotta deal with it. That's the essence of this book. 

This Trivium quote always resonated in my head over the years, but it wasn't until a week ago that I fully understood what Matt Heafy meant when he penned it. That's growth.

Another positive takeaway has been the book highlighting how much damage people do to themselves by denying their own talents. And it's made me realize that I'm a fucking prodigy and I always have been, but that's another story for another day. I've got to figure out what I'm going to do with this newfound knowledge. 

The Book of Five Rings

Don't try to practically apply this book. It's a strategy book. 

This book is about mastery in all different parts of life. It's helpful for everyone to read something like this book. Especially in tangent with the other books that I've read. One big takeaway from what I read today was to make sure that if your enemy is ever hurt in combat go ahead and properly and decisively finish him so he doesn't recover and finish you. That's some obvious shit -

The big takeaway for me was that Musashi said you're lazy and careless if you don't do this. And then he refuses to explain further. Musashi does this all throughout the book. This book talks about all kinds of things that most civilized people wouldn't dream about in gorey detail. But there's passages where the book will say something completely archaic, end the explanation with "worrying about the minor details is some sissy shit" and then continue on as if that isn't a complete break from seriousness. I think the translator was trying to be funny. 

Anyways, yeah. Books are fun and promote personal growth...

Rebuilding Yourself and Maintaining Good Health

 

The Six Million Dollar Man is an old TV show that aired in the '70s. The show is about a pilot named Steve Austin (not that one), who crashes a test flight into the ground and undergoes an emergency procedure to become a cyborg crime fighter.  I presume his crimefighting activities consist of running around stopping bank robberies and delivering anti-drug PSAs to kids. I honestly don't know. 

As you can probably tell I've never actually watched the show in my life. I don't care about the show. I fucking love the intro and the entire concept. Ever since I first saw it, I fell in love with the notion of a guy getting into an accident and being rebuilt "stronger, better, and faster" with science.  Honestly, every time I feel kind of down, or I've been on a bad streak of luck, I think of this intro. And it gets me going.

I have the tools to rebuild myself. Hell, we all have the tools to rebuild ourselves. It's just about finding the right ones and getting good at using those tools in the right way. Just like those scientists went into Steve's brain, rewired it, and fixed him up, we can look into our minds and do some rewiring and fixing.

We're all Six Million Dollar People (or 42 Million Dollar People, adjusted for inflation)...

How Not To Get A Job or Get Hired Ever: An Interactive Tutorial on Cleaning Up Your Online Presence

To be streamed at a future date -

The UFC 287 Main Event Was Somewhat Surprising

Although I wasn't rooting for Izzy myself, his winning by second-round knockout, was definitely in the realm of bizarre possibilities. He rocked Periera in the first fight, and he has more experience under his belt. Now, when Adesanya made it to the second round I questioned myself how in the hell he'd be able to stop Pereira without dragging the fight all the way out and being perfect for 25 minutes,. And I immediately thought that whoever faints the most wins. But Pereira was also a kickboxer, he knows that shit, as well.

Watching Pereira fight anyone is scary. It's just a matter of time before he finishes it. But I think we all know that Izzy has won and lost tons of championships. It doesn't matter that Pereira knocked him out twice, Israel has the edge in experience when it comes to MMA. And honestly, I wasn't really sure what to expect after the first round. Izzy was winning the first fight for 23 minutes. And then he lost. Trying to get the decision against someone like Alex isn't a safe path to victory. 

But seemingly out of nowhere, Izzy backs up from their exchange in the middle of the cage all the way to the fence. Pereira obviously follows him and pressures him and starts teeing off. But unlike the first fight, he isn't really tagging Izzy. And then Izzy peeks out and hits Alex so hard that he stumbles back. And then as Alex is raising back up from getting rocked, Izzy hits him again and Alex falls onto the canvas. Izzy mounts him to go for the hammer fist, but it is clear that Pereira is already completely out.

I was halfway expecting Israel to drag the shit out to a decision by avoiding Pereira's left hand. But nah, this man stepped into the fire and went back to the same position that he lost the first fight in.

And instead of losing again, he fucking knocked out Pereira this time. 

This shit is so smooth, it feels scripted.

On further reflection, this was probably one of my favorite moments of watching MMA. I don't think I ever screamed as loud as I did when Izzy knocked out Pereira. I remember being on the edge of my seat the whole time during their first fight, waiting for a whole five rounds for Izzy to take that left hand and fall down. So this time I had that same tension. 

But Izzy pulled out the one damn thing I knew he could. Experience. Why in the flying fuck would someone repeatedly and intentionally back themselves up against the cage? And when Pereira got hit the first time, it's like time slowed down. And then Izzy hit him again and mounted him and I was about to fall off the couch. And I couldn't help but yell. I think I yelled for like a whole two or three minutes.

I was rooting so hard for Usman to get his belt back and he just couldn't do it. So seeing Pereira out cold on the fucking canvas was somewhat cathartic. I like Pereira. I think we all do. You can't not like him. He's a freak of nature with a death touch and he was a massive talent in his sport. Everyone loves those guys. Then he comes over to MMA and beats the reigning champion. Alex is a fucking badass. 

But he damn near lost the fight and I will maintain that from the second round onward Izzy fought like a jackass. That said I did get a vibe of "This guy is a fucking amateur and I wasn't taking him seriously last time" from Izzy. 

And Alex was motherfucking out. It looked really bad. There are just so many things to take away from that still of him unconscious on the canvas. One, that motherfucker is freakishly large, and two, he's old. He stayed out for a good ten to fifteen seconds. I don't like seeing that shit. He shouldn't be fighting again until at least November or December.

 

Fighters I'm Looking Forward to Watching

Editors Note: I meant to publish this prior to UFC 287 and fucking forgot. The content is still up to date for the most part, so I'm publishing it now. To be proofread and revised. 

I get accused of being a casual MMA fan quite frequently. And honestly I understand the accusations. But, it's not that I'm a casual, I catch every PPV, and almost every card. It's that I've only been watching MMA for a year and a half. And there's a difference between researching the history of a sport, and actually watching it unfold live. 

Let me explain further.

Now that I follow MMA and give a shit about it, I actually pay more attention to the narratives around the fights. But the thing is no matter what, I can't experience all of the stuff the same way by rewatching fights that have already happened. 

For example, If I already knew that Alex Pereira was going to TKO Izzy when I watched UFC 281 (which I kinda did, but that's beside the point), I wouldn't have given a flying fuck about what I was watching. But I was gripped by every fucking aspect of the fight. Every punch that landed, every kick that was loud enough to hear. Every time someone slightly looked they were getting dropped. I was glued to everything that was going on. And we know why. Izzy had been champion for years and had completely cleared the fuck out of the middleweight division. But he couldn't win at light-heavyweight. His entire game plan was nullified by someone because they were bigger than him. And there was all the complaints about every defense being a lackluster point fight. 

And here came his Kryptonite. A massive kickboxing double champion, that could knock people out wihh one punch. In fact, he beat Izzy twice already, and the last time he knocked him out and retired him from the sport. He'd already knocked out a ranked fighter. This guy was the perfect person to dethrone Izzy and get the middleweight division back to exciting sluggers, instead of embarrassing snoozefests. He was as big as a light-heavyweight (the only loss of Izzy's career was at that weight). And he could close the distance and hit Adesanya. And he could also knock you out with one untelegraphed punch. I knew it was Izzy's time when he rocked Pereira in the first round, and the dude was still standing two rounds later. But I didn't actually know for certain. That was the fun of it. Watching all of these questions being answered live from my TV.

Now if someone were to have started watching MMA in January of this year, all they'd know about the Izzy vs. Pereira fight is that Izzy lost his belt. It doesn't really mean much. It already happened.

I've only just recently moved into the former category. So I understand when people don't like my takes or tell me I don't understand MMA, or call me a casual over and over again. So I figured it made sense to talk at length about the little MMA I have watched, and the shit I'm excited for in the future.

Of course, I'm heavily looking forward to Masvidal vs. Burns, this weekend. I think that Masvidal is going to get battered and submitted. It is not going to be good. I'm honestly looking forward to how the entire welterweight title picture will slip and slide this year.

Charles Oliveira

His next fight is going to be up against a tested veteran with insane submission skills. He's already beaten the shit out of the other top-two-ranked guys. Before his belt was stolen he was on an insane streak of submissions, that made him look like a monster. I love when he'd get slightly tapped and then would fall onto the canvas on his back waiting for his opponent to get on the ground, like he was hurt. 

And the way he fights is captivating.  Watching Charles fight is a display in the Art of Eight Limbs. He's like a whirlwind of action, throwing knees, kicks, elbows, and punches from every direction. I call it "Octopus-Style" fighting. And once he gets the fight to the ground, he's lightning-fast in his submission attempts. He's the epitome of a badass fighter in my mind.

When I first got into MMA, Charles was the lightweight champion, and everyone was raving about how stacked that division was. So naturally, I started seeing him as the baddest man in the sport. And honestly, I still do. Unless losing the belt has seriously messed with his head, he's going to be a tough nut to crack for anyone who steps in the cage with him. Anyone that can beats him will definitely shine brightly in the MMA world.

Alex Pereira Against Anyone That Isn't Israel Adesanya

He's got that monster left hook. And now he's knocked out the fucking champion and may do it again. Watching him fight is like watching a horror movie. You just hope and pray for his opponent to be able to stop him from getting close enough to hit them. But you just know every time, he's going to hit him them on the chin and it's going to immediately be over. 

I don't know or care or understand whether Izzy can beat Alex. It wouldn't seem likely that he's going to out of nowhere stop this double-champion in his former sport, who's already beaten him three times. And I also really think Izzy doesn't give a flying fuck on a rolling donut about the belt anyway.

Clearly, he's trying to collect all six Infinity Belts, and he already has his UFC stone.

But I also think the division will suffer if Izzy wins and doesn't rematch him again later on. And also in that scenario who the fuck else does Izzy fight? He's already ran through everyone in the division. He obviously can't win at light-heavyweight. He's too big to move to welterweight. Maybe Khamzhat will get a title shot? Izzy winning honestly would mess up the middleweight division's progress. 

But speaking of Khamzhat - 

Khamzat Chimaev

I understand that as an athlete (especially from a restrictive country like Chechneya) you have to maintain a distinct image and promote yourself. And being Chechneyan, you're not in this to just win a belt and go home. You're out here to somehow try to literally prove that your country has the best fighters in the entire world every single time that you step in front of a camera. I can understand the need to maintain an image. 

But it's just that this image is obviously fake. This guy is not crazy and not stupid enough to literally fight anyone, anywhere just so his ass can get arrested, deported, and likely worse. He's not some Chechneyan mobster who made it to the big leagues and can't contain himself. 

Or maybe he is... 

Either way, he's never underperformed. For all his antics about wanting to fight everyone, and not committing to one division, Khamzat has destroyed all but one of his opponents. I honestly don't think he'd continue to keep doing that at welterweight, but at middleweight I'm unsure. And he could definitely viably compete at light-heavyweight. 

I honestly don't care, win or lose, I'm interested in seeing how whoever stops him, stops him. Because he's definitely getting stopped before he touches a belt. 

Magomed Ankalaev

He ran through the light-heavyweight division and beat the former champion Jan Blachowicz. This is the guy that should fight Jiri Procházka and whoever eventually gets the title. He's the light-heavyweight number-one contender until Jiri gets back. I'd argue that Jiri should fight him first. But ultimately no matter what happens, whether he fights Jamahal Hill for the title or further down the line, whether he fights Jiri for the title or not, or whether he can continue to beat the fuck out of whoever the hell manages to climb up the light-heavyweight ranks, this guy is a helluva fighter. And I'd argue that he's the real light-heavyweight champion. 

Francis N'Gannou

Honestly, it's looking like this dude is going to negotiate himself into being retired. But he's Francis N'Gannou. If he goes to Bellator, he's going to take that motherfucking belt from Ryan Spann, easily.  If he goes to PFL, there's no one to really challenge him. He can go to RIZIN and do super-fights until he retires. He can get this boxing shit underway and contribute to the MMA striking vs. boxing debate. I'd love it if Jon Jones loses/vacates/gets stripped of the title, and Francis is still out there somewhere tearing through people. 

Also, it's Francis N'Gannou. 

Francis is just genuinely fucking scary, without having two human off-switches for haands. He is absolutely huge and has the physique of a superhero, he's from the bad part of Africa and he literally bled, sweat, and cried to get to Western Civilization. 

The man has talked about climbing over barb-wire fences, hiking through the desert, and having to trek through the forest eating out the garbage to get to America. With the life he's had, Francis could be 350 pounds, working at McDonald's and chainsmoking Marlboro's, and still be one of the scariest people on the planet. But he's a fucking professional fighter and an endurance athlete. 

I can't think of any other heavyweight in the world that should fight him. And unless Francis falls off, if someone beats him, that'll be the next guy to watch.

Anyone with the Last Name Nurmagomedov

I can't rely on my strategy of relying on anyone from the country of Dagestan to deliver my stellar MMA. So my new strategy is to invest my time in the tried and tested Nurmagomedov camp.

But there's indeed a catch. With Khabib gone, it's entirely possible that his affiliates will suffer horribly. I don't want to see that. I don't want to see Umar show up drunk to a press conference and misses weight and lose. I don't want to see Usman gas out and forget how to strike. That will probably turn me into a jaded MMA fan. I saw Islam gas out and be incapable of submitting a smaller man. I can't help but wonder whether this is because Khabib is gone. It's 95% likely that it isn't but I don't know yet.

And that's my point about the difference between being an MMA fan and just casually paying attention to it. I wouldn't give a flying fuck about any of the Nurmagomedov's if I'd never seen Khabib absolutely maul everyone get fought. 

Christian Lee

I don't know much about this motherfucker, but I do know he was the Lightweight One FC Champion, lost his belt, and then beat the FLYING FUCK out of the guy who took his belt in the rematch. It looked like he was fighting some amateur off of Streetbeefs or PFL. That's the kind of story I like to see in MMA. If Usman knocked Leon out in the second round in their rematch, I'd have loved it. If Valentina gets a rematch and knocks out whoever the hell just beat her, I'd love it. If my boy, Reinier De Ridder can come back and reclaim his heavyweight belt, I'd love it. 

The point is that Christian Lee did some cool shit and he looked cool, so now I'm looking forward to seeing what happens next.

Though as an aside, I'm genuinely starting to wonder if ONE has some fight-throwing issues because every other card a top contender or a champion gets his ass absolutely whooped. Dudes on unrealistically long winning streaks will all of a sudden lose so badly it's like they've only fought in their cousin's backyard. The talent gaps can't be that damn large. Maybe ONE just likes booking mismatched fights. If Christian Lee falls off after this, I'm not watching anymore ONE FC until they sign Ciryl Gane in four years. 

The Great UFC 284 Heist

I forgot to post this on Sunday. Whoops.

Now look, Volkanovski may not have won that fight last night, but he made Islam make this face.

That's an unmistakable look of sheer terror.

Islam is supposedly Khabib Nurmagomedov's star pupil and best protege. And honestly watching Khabib's highlights is what sparked my initial interest in MMA. The dude never ever got tired during a fight and he beat the dogshit out of everyone. Khabib was so skilled, he was like a videogame character with all the cheat codes enabled. He didn't even get cut or bleed once.

And unfortunately, Islam is not Khabib. Islam did not maul Volkanovski. Islam got his shit rocked. And furthermore, Islam got absolutely exhausted. 

Dagestanis have notoriously superhuman endurance. I've seen Dagestanis get choked out, knocked out in the first round, and all kinds of submitted, but I don't think I've ever seen a single one of them look even remotely tired. EVER. They don't get tired. 

And Islam was absolutely exhausted. 

Which is just a testament to how much of a badass Volk is. I haven't been watching MMA that long, but he did some shit I've never seen before. He tired out a Dagestani. 

And honestly, that's more than enough for me to take what I saw last night as sufficient revenge for what Islam did to Charles Oliveira in October. 

I feel like I'm too emotionally invested in this, so I won't go on any further.

A Casual MMA Fan's UFC 283 Roundup

You read the title. Let's get into it. Also I missed the first fight. 

Josiane Nunes vs. Zarah Fairn

There was a tiny chick fighting a tall chick. I don't have any problem with WMMA. But UFC's WMMA sucks dick. One FC's WMMA is stellar. Bellator has Cyborg. Hell, even Combate Global has decent WMMA. The UFC has like five people steamrolling everyone else and trading wins with each other. Apart from that, there are only like two or three other female fighters that aren't absolute snoozefests to watch. These two are not among the five exciting WMMA fighters worth watching. 

Nicolas Dalby vs. Warlley Alves

The welterweight fight was fucking boring. The dudes kept cracking the fuck outta each other and no one went down. There's nothing worse than a prelim fight that gets drug out to a bloodless decision. 

Brunno Ferreira vs. Gregory Rodrigues

I've never paid attention to this  Gregory Rodrigues guy. I've seen him fight, but I never gave a shit. Chat was blowing up about Buff Obama / Robocop and I had no clue who the fuck they were talking about. I do know one thing for sure, and it's that Buff Robomacop got knocked the fuck out. 

Cody Stamann vs. Luan Lacerda

Apparently, there was a bantamweight fight. The guy looked like a knockoff of Cody Garbrandt. The fight chat dubbed him Cody "Some Love." That is all. 

Ismael Bonfim vs. Terrance McKinney

Firstly, Terence McKinney looks like the fish from Shark Tale. Secondly,  I thought it was weird, rude and disrespectful that his American ass went out there with a Brazilian fight kit. So I was rooting against his stupid ass from the get-go. If you want home team support, then support the home team. You wouldn't go to the Olympics and wrestle for Germany or some random ass country. And you definitely wouldn't wrestle for the USA and then run around with a Japanese flag after you win. It's nonsensical.  If you want to wear another country's colors for no reason, then I'm certainly not rooting for you. And his mouthpiece got knocked out and then he got knocked the fuck out right afterward. Despite commentary saying it was his debut, I could tell that this Bonfim guy was a veteran from the way he was trading.  I look forward to watching more of his scraps.

Jailton Almeida vs. Shamil Abdurakhimov

The Dagestani got wrestle-fucked and it looked like he wasn't even trying. Every time a round started, homie got effortlessly taken to the ground. A disadvantage of not having watched MMA that long is that I'm not always familiar with all the fighters. Maybe the black dude is just a phenomenal grappler. But honestly, it just looked like the Russian guy was gassing out every round and giving up his back. It definitely wasn't entertaining.

Gabriel Bonfim vs. Mounir Lazzez

The second Bonfim tapped out his opponent in the first round. I didn't know of these guys before this card, but now I gotta go back and watch their shit because they're definitely finishers. This shit didn't even look competitive.

Thiago Moisés vs. Melquizael Costa

Uh, I'm aware of the fact that Thiago Moises can scrap. I've actually seen it. And I think Mr. Colorful was a late replacement because Moises' opponent pulled out. When things hit the ground it honestly looked like Rainbow Hair gave up and tapped quick as hell. I'm not a grappler and I don't know jujitsu. Maybe he was about to lose a fucking limb; I wouldn't be able to tell. But to me, it looked like homeboy knew he wasn't getting out of the choke and tapped immediately. 

Which is respectable, I guess. Everyone doesn't have to do it the Dagestani way and refuse to tap. This sport consists of half-naked men hitting each other in the face, and I'm okay with that. The only times I've genuinely winced while watching MMA were when someone was refusing to tap. I have the image of Magomed Magomedov squirming and going limp between Patrick Mix's legs burned into my memory. Which is quite traumatizing. 

If you can't get out of the sub, you should probably save yourself some brain damage. So hats off to Rainbow Hair.

Shogun Rua vs. Ihor Potieria

I only knew two things about Shogun prior to this fight. I knew Shogun Rua was that guy who won the Pride Light Heavyweight Grand Prix. 

Pride FC hasn't existed since 2007. 

And I knew Jon Jones submitted him early on in his career. 

UFC 285 will be my first time watching Jon Jones fight live, and I've been watching MMA for a year.

So when everyone in the chat said Shogun Rua would be fighting, I said "Huh? Isn't that guy like 47?"

Nonetheless, he lost this retirement fight spectacularly. Like Cowboy, and Frankie, and Joanna, and Rockhold, and Aldo all did during their retirement fights. 

Johnny Walker vs. Paul Craig 

Anyways, I don't have anything to say about Johnny Walker finishing Paul Craig. I thought that Walker was going to lose a limb, for sure, but the fight didn't even make it to the ground. 

Jéssica Andrade vs. Lauren Murphy

Again, the UFC's WMMA is god-awful. Digression, but someone decided to spam in our chat, that everyone should stay the hell away from Jessica Andrade's Onlyfans. So of course, I went and checked it out. 

Don't look at Jessica Andrade's Onlyfans....

I don't know if any of you have also had the misfortune of being flashed by someone who's mentally ill, but Andrade's Onlyfans has those vibes. The only thing I could think was that she should put her clothes on and never, ever, ever take them off in front of a camera again. 

But anyways, the fight sucked. I think it should've been stopped because it was fucking boring. Murphy decided to block half of the punches with her face. And despite that, Murphy never even so much as wobbled. And she barely landed anything herself. It was like watching a bear get repeatedly stung by a bunch of bees. No matter how many times he gets stung the bear isn't going to actually get hurt, and he also isn't going to kill any of the bees. At first, it was exciting, but then it was boring and predictable, and I couldn't wait for the fight to be over. 

Brandon Moreno vs. Deiveson Figueiredo

The first card that I watched live was UFC 270. I had no idea who the two Hispanic midgets rolling all over the octagon were at the time. I just wanted to see N'Gannou and Gane slug it out. I called Figgy vs Brandon 3 "gay and too long." 

Fast forward one year and four months of a Fight Pass subscription later, and I still don't give a fuck about Brandon Moreno or Deiveson Figueiredo. I thought it was badass when Figgy hopped into the cage after Brandon won at 277. But I feel like the UFC's flyweight division is lacking. So until Brandon or Figgy go over to a promotion that actually has a stacked 125-pound division (read a country where the average height isn't 5'10), I don't give a shit.

All that said, I was rooting for Figgy because he has that drip. 

And he lost by a fucking doctor's stoppage, and I was unexpectedly upset. 

Jamahal Hill vs. Glover Texeira

Yeah, this was a helluva fight. When Glover went down in the second round, I was sure the fight was over. But that motherfucker refused to go out. And there's a certain point, where a fight turns into a savage beating. And I think at about the 347th unchecked head kick from Jamahal, this one became a beating. It was kind of abundantly clear by the third round, that Glover wasn't going to manhandle Jamahal. But it also was abundantly clear that Jamahal wasn't going to knock Glover out. And slowly the "fight" turned into an "insanely tough old man getting his ass beat by a professional fighter." 

I'll admit that seeing Jamahal break down and cry when he realized that he'd won was heartwarming. 

I fell asleep when Glover fought Jiri (it was my second or third card, and I hadn't started drinking coffee to stay up yet) so I missed out on the "insane war "that happened.

The Brazilian crowd was pretty tame. At least, for a Brazilian crowd. I'm used to reading reports about Brazilian football76ft hooligans burning down stadiums and starting riots, so the fact that some folks threw some beer cans was kinda underwhelming. I fully expected that some crazed Brazilians were going to try to bumrush the cage and attack Jamahal. But alas, the fucking stadium was empty during the last fight.