This week I restarted taking college classes. And honestly, I want to buckle down and focus on the five classes that I have. If you've ever read the very first posts on the sidebar you'll know that this blog was born during my first semester of college. So what gives?What the hell is the difference this semester?
I may have bet someone I was going to ace all of my courses this semester. There may or may not be a large sum of money on the line. And I'll be honest, I'm a simple guy. I wake up in the morning with a finite amount of fucks to give. I can't be spending thirty hours every week writing and editing if I want to also knock out thirty hours of studying. As you can tell math
It hurts the hell out of me to take any kind of time off. (I used to write on here every single day.) but I think that's the best decision right now.
I won't be gone long. And I'll drop in from time to time.
Look who came crawling back to Joe's Not Diary to finish up the review series on All Hail the Yeti?
I knew you'd be back. I didn't know if I'd be back. After two straight weeks of this shit, I can tell you one thing for sure.
I'm fucking tired of listening to All Hail the Yeti. Let's get this over with.
This week we're reviewing their self-titled album. So yeah, let's get to it.
Ooh, this one is already off to a way better start than the last one. The vocals are just nasty. Connor Garrity (Can I stop saying 'the vocalist', now? It's been two weeks. I know the whole lineup by name.) sounds like a hobgoblin every time he shrieks out those lyrics.
Speaking of, Deep Creek is about a ten-foot-tall swamp monster. At this point, I don't know if it's a real legend or AHTY made it up. Which is exactly what I would expect from a band named "All Hail the YETI." Not songs about Jonestown and hating scene kids.
This is an earworm and my description cannot possibly do the song justice. Give it a listen.
When the Sky Falls
This song is badass. There's no gap between the beginning of this track and the end of the first one. It immediately kicks off with rapid speaking from Connor that morphs into pained shrieking and beautiful singing. I don't know what happened between this record and the last but Connor sounds so much different. His screams sound nasty. And we get to hear all the different shades of his voice throughout this song.
From what I can tell (I didn't fucking write it, so I'm not 100%) this song is about Satan influencing another Angel to follow him before being cast out of Heaven. Good stuff, so far.
Suicide Woods
Y'all remember a couple years ago when Logan Paul was in hot water for going to the Japanese Suicide Woods, cracking inappropriate jokes, and showing dead bodies on YouTube? This song and video are about the same Suicide Woods.
With 100% fewer career-derailing jokes
and punchable faces.
This is an okay song. The simplistic guitar riffing and the lack of a solo make it seem more reminiscent of Southern rock. Someone in the comments of the YouTube video said that this song has Nickelback level guitar playing. That's about right. The spoken parts feel like they're pulled right out of a Mushroomhead song. (Which just makes me want to go listen to Mushroomhead.)
I don't know what the fuck the song is about because half of these songs don't have their lyrics posted anywhere and I'm definitely not going to be the one to transcribe them. My money is on it being about someone killing themselves, though.
The Art of Mourning
Now, they went all out on this one. This is one of their best songs. When I think All Hail the Yeti, 'The Art of Mourning' is one of the first things that pops into my head. This song is damn near as perfect as those balls Tom Brady deflated.
This track opens up with a unique rendition of 'O, Death.' And then you hear one of the most metal harmonica solos ever. (What're there like five in existence, tops?) All while the bass and the drums pound.
The refrain of this song always gets stuck in my head. Connor's horrid screaming layered under his sweet singing just makes that last one so much more memorable.
And unlike the last few songs, I can definitely tell you the story of this one. Back in the Old West, a soon retiring killer for hire finds his family assassinated. So he hunts down the motherfuckers that did it and brutally kills each of them. It's basically an Old West version of Old Man Logan with a little bit of Punisher mixed in. I also like the way the song repeatedly asks, "This is justice, but what does it prove?" It's as if it doesn't want you to feel good about the poor guy getting his revenge.
The Weak and Wounded
So this one is more of a prelude to the following track. It's a creepy interview session between a doctor and a possessed patient. The whole thing reeks of creepiness and claustrophobia. And it segues right into the next track.
After the Great Fire
I don't know if it's the choir of children, how tortured Connor's screaming sounds, or the groovy chugging during the verses but this track is just perfect. The solo just seems neverending. The samples tie in just enough for the lyrics to keep you satisfied but still wondering. The harmony on every "After the Great Fire!" gives the line 300% more impact and melody. And I also think it's awesome towards the end when Connor starts chanting "I am the devil, I am the smoke!"
For context, this song (and all of the samples) is based on a psych horror movie called Session 9. I've personally never gotten around to watching it but everyone that has says it's amazing. And All Hail the Yeti liked it so much they wrote a song about it.
It's a good listen.
Bloodguilt
This is another amazing track. The drummer kicks it off perfectly. The vocals are on point from the very beginning. There's a very interesting guitar lick during each pre-chorus. In fact, the guitar work is completely on point here. Especially during that breakdown. My favorite part of this song, and possibly the entire album is the way they scream the name of the song over the last few seconds of the song.
All it takes is one listen to know what this track is about; a nappy-headed ho that left my man Connor for some other bro. Snoop Dogg would certainly approve of the thrashing this song gives her. Fuck her.
I Am Wendigod
It honestly feels a little weird that we live in a world where no one thinks I'm a weirdo for knowing what a wendigo is. (Thanks Until Dawn.)
This song encourages the listener to feast on that tasty human flesh and blood and become a fucking Wendigo. Why?Because the fucking Wendigod says so. (Once again, this is exactly the kind of track I'd expect and want from a band called All Hail the YETI)
This track really ain't nothing special instrumentally. There's a short spoken introduction that's in some kind of native tongue.
To be honest, this song feels like it was made specifically for an AMV.
I guarantee you that isn't necessarily a bad thing.
Axe Murder Hollow
I swear that these guys have Zakk Wylde ghost-guitaring on some of these tracks.
This was definitely the fucking heaviest track so far. Nonstop screaming on top of endless chugging and abusive drumming. I don't know what the fuck "Axe Murder Hollow" is but it's definitely the perfect name for this song.
I wasn't too much a fan of that whole minute of feedback noises in the beginning though. This isn't Metal Machine Music. Guitar feedback is not ambiance, it's just guitar feedback.
Ruby Ridge (Every Knee Shall Bow)
Ah, the early 90's gun control crises.
For those of y'all who don't know, Ruby Ridge was an 11-day standoff between gun enthusiast, (and alleged white separatist) Randy Weaver, the F.B.I. and the U.S. Marshalls. It left Weaver's son, wife, and dog dead, and a community of fellow gun enthusiasts pissed the fuck off. The OKC bomber even cited it as one of the incidents he was seeking revenge for. Looking through the lens of today, it honestly probably could've been handled better.
But we did get this dope-ass song out of it.
This song sounds pretty good. It's got the usual groovy riffing, screaming, and singing. The big difference here is that the lyrics are really telling a story this time. Connor sounds uniquely pissed off.
Judas Cradle
This may possibly be the best song on the album. This is the only track on the album (or that I've ever heard from AHTY) that actually sounds upbeat during the chorus. I love how fucking tortured Connor sounds at the end of the song. The track fades out with incoherent screaming, riffing, and gang vocalizing.
I know I say this a lot but that's definitely fitting, given the title of the song. The Judas Cradle was a medieval torture device that consisted of a huge erected pyramid whose tip was inserted into the victim's business end. And then they forcefully lowered you down onto it.
You can picture the rest.
This is a very different track instrumentally. And I dig it. This was the perfect way to end the album.
Or at least it would have been.
This song has fifteen minutes of swamp ambiance tacked onto the end of it. And after actually listening to it for a few minutes, instead of fifteen minutes of genuine ambiance, it seems more like fifteen minutes of the same twenty-second loop of crickets, birds, water, and frogs. Which sucks, because I actually felt awesome for the first minute and a half. It gave the illusion that I had been listening to some kind of exotic concert in a swamp and now that their performance was over, the band was sailing away on some wooden raft. But about three minutes in, it feels like you're just sitting there listening to royalty-free nature sounds. Which is exactly what the fuck you're doing.
And guess what happens after those fifteen minutes?
No, seriously guess!
If you guessed literally anything, then congratulations on knowing how to end a record better than All Hail the Yeti. Because the correct answer is "fucking nothing. "
I'm so done with this band, right now.
Final Verdict / What Do I Think?
I don't know what the fuck happened on the album I listened to last week. This record was awesome. All Hail the Yeti is basically Pantera with more violent screaming and tad bit less groove. And I can dig that. I've listened to some more of their recent stuff and they have broken that repetitive mold on Screams From a Black Wilderness. And I mean broke it.
My biggest issue with the band is their lyrics. Even when it seems like they're saying something deep, if you read along to the song, 75% of the time it's either completely nonsensical or simplistic.
I know I'm railing on them, but I've been listening to this band since my first few days of High School. I'm definitely going to keep listening to them. Just no time soon.
Join us next time when we tackle Deathcore behemoths All Shall Perish!
Happy New Year and welcome to Season Two of the best way to spend your Sunday. (Yes, I know it's Monday.) We're starting the year off right with one of the best bands I can think of All Hail The Yeti! AHTY were one of the first metalcore bands I started listening to and they pushed me through highschool. I can't count the amount of times I would drown out the awkwardness of being an adolescent with Screams From a Black Wilderness.
And since that's the album I'm the most familiar with, that's the one we'll be tackling this week. You see, going forward, a lot of the bands we're tackling will have 100s of songs. Instead of reviewing them all in one day, I'm going to split them up by album.
Let's hop right into it. Something that sets All Hail the Yeti apart from any other band is that most of their songs tell a story or are references to pop culture. Before the Flames is no different.
The intro is wonderful. From the calm strumming to the crazy riffing to the expectant chugging of the pre-chorus. All accompanied by the unpolished screams of the vocalist. Then the cleans of the chorus that proclaim "We serve a lesser god!"
Although, I've got used to it over the years that post-breakdown, "Oh my God! What is happening?!?", is one of the funniest lines I've heard in a song. If you're not paying attention to the lyrics it's jarring as hell. Also, the melody with the screaming and singing towards the end is beautiful.
Plague Dance
Did you know that there was a plague that made a whole village spasm uncontrollably for three days straight? A literal plague dance. Unfortunately, that's not the plague this song is about but that's still metal AF. Here 'plague dance' refers to a ritual done to mourn for all of those killed by the plague. Which is still pretty metal. I also find the fact that the song kicks off with a Monty Python reference is hilarious.
Let the Night Roar
This song is about the Jonestown massacre. The title is a reference to the final sermon given before the sermon and a sample of it ends the breakdown. That breakdown kicks off with some amazing cleans and drumming. It sounds amazing.
Given the subject matter, the song repeatedly beckons you to 'smile and drink.' I don't have to go into detail about what that means. If you read along with the lyrics, the words of Jim Jones are screamed, while his followers' responses are sung. Something about that is morbidly fitting.
Mr. Murder
You may be thinking this is about the Stephen King book.
Ew, no.
This song is a tribute to the lead singer's best friend who passed away during the recording of this album. Metalcore legend Brock Lindow is featured, as he was also good friends with Mr. Murder. (I couldn't find anything on why they named the song that. Dude's name was Matt.) This is essentially All Hail the Yeti's 'Wish You Were Here.'
You can feel the emotion on this track as the vocalist is screaming way harder than usual. There are some references in the lyrics that are pretty personal. You can honestly tell these guys were genuinely best friends. Matt meant a lot to them. And the song hits home. Because we all have a friend like that, we never want to lose.
Lady of the Night
Groovy ass intro. Heavy ass screaming with a distortion effect for good measure. And then comes the chorus and it completely contrasts that. I love how the cleans and screams are layered during the chorus.
The bass is really prominent throughout. The guitar riffing feels really funky during the breakdown. Those last few riffs of the song accompanied by the 'Kill me! Lady of the night!' is the most badass thing of this album.
Witch is Dead
Y'all remember that scene in the OG Wizard of Oz when Dorothy first shows up in Oz and her trailer lands right on top of the Wicked Witch of the East? Did you know that All Hail That Yeti composed the 'Witch is Dead' jingle that the munchkins sing in that scene?
If you look closely you can see the vocalist making sure the actors get the words right.
Nah this one is about dumping (and possibly murdering) a chick who caused you a lot of pain. That ex that cheated on you with your best bro and then cheated on him with his uncle? This is a 'fuck you' to her. All Hail the Yeti are experts at writing relationship songs.
Instrumentally, this track is standard fare. Everything is on point. The good cop bad cop vocals hammer home the point of the chorus. There's some expert rhyming in the verses. The solo is brief but groovy. This one is a little bit more catchy and upbeat than usual. After all, it is based on a Wizard of Oz reference.
Daughter of the Morning Star
This one starts off pretty slow but it picks up the pace with the first chorus. And then the breakdown is straight insanity. But you already knew what you were in for with that title.
I want to say that this song is about a native witch killing some Christian settlers that disturb her home. The opening line of the song is "It was 1493" which is the year Columbus first docked in America.
Sun Will Never Set
These bros started sounding like Pantera, Mastodon, and something entirely unique all at the same time. The guitar tone is dirty and evokes Southern Metal. That distorted spoken interlude
The harmony between the vocalist and the bassist on top of the riffing sounds amazing. This track stands out. If anything makes me call All Hail the Yeti Southern Rock this song is it.
Which is hilarious, given that this is a song rejecting faith and the superficial for belief in what can be seen. Not a very Southern message if you ask me.
Fall of Core
There's nothing particularly interesting about the instruments here. But the lyrics are kind fo cringeworthy. This song is exactly what it says on the tin. It's a fuck you to (what All Hail the Yeti calls) posers and hipsters. This is the first time I've heard someone scream 'skinny jeans' and I never want to hear it again.
I hate scenies and posers as much as the next guy but I think it's a waste of time to dedicate a whole song to that. In fact, that makes you look like a grumpy elitist. Also, I don't think All Hail the Yeti are exactly the right folks to be calling out skinny jeans-wearing hipsters...
Maybe they're making an attempt at self-deprecation...
But if you hate posers so much that you feel like they're ruining your livelihood, then I guess it makes sense to write about it. To each his own.
Breaking the Wheel
This one isn't too different. The chorus is pretty catchy. And honestly I think that's the best thing about all of these tracks. At the very least the choruses are all pretty memorable. This is one of the few that will probably have you singing along.
The song is about indulgence and substance abuse. And not to get all general here but I'm going to have to take back what I said earlier. Most of these songs have lyrics that are either weird, or inconsistent throughout. It also doesn't help that some of the vocals are so incoherent that the words couldn't be transcribed. Honestly I hate to say this, but this song really highlights the fact that All Hail the Yeti don't have the best lyrics.
Nemesis Queen
This is the grooviest track of the record. This song is so groovy it sounds like Black Label Society with All Hail the Yeti's vocalist.
There's the constant riffing. The crooning cleans. The harsh vocals to contrast. And another catchy-ass chorus. And the guitarist unleashed his inner Zakk Wylde for that solo.
Angels Envy
Jesus Christ, I guess All Hail the Yeti is a metal band. This one starts off with a spoken and sang part and transitions into some hectic shredding and screaming. And then they repeat this for the next few minutes. Singing/ speaking and then a chaotic refrain. Then we get to the breakdown and it becomes 100% screaming. And I mean screaming. The vocals go up to 11 on the harshness. And then the track and the album end.
Wowee. That was a helluva track to end on.
Final Verdict / What Do I Think?
I already introduced AHTY as one of my favorite bands. I've been listening to them for years and that probably isn't going to change. That said, I really want to save my greater opinions on the band for next week.
As for this album, I've heard better. And I've certainly heard worse. It's consistent throughout. It doesn't suddenly switch genres in the middle of the record. (Oh, it happens. Just wait for All That Remains.) The production is pretty well-rounded. All of these songs, at the very least, have a catchy chorus. That's what keeps me listening to this band. Their songs get stuck in your head.
And honestly, it's so formulaic it kind of gets boring. Most of these songs follow a very specific structure. After a while, all of the songs meld together in my head and I can't tell them apart. To be honest, it sort of feels like I just listened to the same song 12 times in a row. Except it was slightly different every time.
I can't forgive that piss poor songwriting though. That's a musical sin.
Unfortunately, I'm starting not to like this band as much. However, we do have next week to take a look at their first self-titled album and a couple of other tracks. And I think that may shift my opinion back in the other way.
So come back next week for that. Or don't. I don't care.
