Alright hello, and welcome back to the world's only series of alphabetical reviews of my music collection. I took a week off last week, but I'm back in the saddle and regular weekly posting will resume.
We're picking back up with Germany's Accu§er!
These guys are possibly the most hardcore thrash band out there. Not because of their music but because of their hardcore lifestyle. Just look at this. These fuckers committed hard crimes on their album covers.
Look at this picture of classic Marvel comics villain Ultron. You may (or may not) remember him as the character James Spader was playing in that second Avengers movie.
Now look closely at this Accu§er album.
The bulge is his most distinguishing feature...
Now look closely at this Accu§er album.
Just look closely...
Do you see it?
I'm not saying that robot is Ultron, but that robot is clearly Ultron.
So these fuckers were just like "We like this character so he's going on all our album covers. What is copyright?" Back in the day, this kind of thing could slide, but in the days of Disney sending cease and desist letters to daycares, this is ballsy as hell.
You know it's obvious if YouTube commenters are picking up on it...
So these fuckers were just like "We like this character so he's going on all our album covers. What is copyright?" Back in the day, this kind of thing could slide, but in the days of Disney sending cease and desist letters to daycares, this is ballsy as hell.
Clearly, their label thought the same thing, because they made them redo the album art for the reissue.
© Red Shift Records
So we know they don't give a fuck about intellectual property,
but do they thrash?
Master of Disaster
If I could sum up this song with two words it would be 'relentless shredding.' From start to finish, there's nonstop guitar abuse. This is Grade A classic thrash. If you leave here with anything today it's going to be with three hundred riffs. I like the intro riff. I like the structure of the song. The breakdown makes me feel like I'm riding a roller coaster and all I have in front of me are continuous loops. And that solo was wild. The vocals are your standard for thrash. Aggressive yelping with the occasional scream thrown in there. If that's not your cup of tea, you ain't gonna like too much thrash.
My only gripe is these whack-ass lyrics. I'm pretty sure this is supposed to be some kind of commentary about nuclear warfare. But either they couldn't speak a lick of good English or I just don't get the metaphors. This song opens with the line, "Having breakfast at the pool. Another boring day." I don't always eat breakfast at the pool, but when I do it's anything but a boring day. It's usually vacation. And what the fuck does that have to do with the Master of Disaster?
"Jeeves burnt the fucking scones! Don't take up for him, Karen,
this is the end of the line for that Master of Disaster!"
Symbol of Hate
Fun fact. This song transitions so smoothly from the last that I had no idea I was listening to a different song. Which I actually find to be a bad thing. For the first minute, this sounds like it could be the exact same song as Master of Disaster. (The only difference being that the lyrics actually make sense this time.) But they quickly redeem themselves, the breakdown on this one stops the shredding for a little bit and sounds a little more prog.
Speaking of lyrics the 'Symbol of Hate' this song refers to is the government of the German Democratic Republic. This song talks mad shit on them and tells the people of East Germany to blow up the Berlin Wall and overthrow the GDR. This album was released a whole year before the destruction of the Wall and the reunification of Germany. Suddenly the whole stealing Ultron as their mascot looks a lot less ballsy in comparison.
I've never felt so goddamn patriotic listening to Thrash.
Who Dominates Who?
At this point, I realize that this album is clearly gapless. It sounds like one long song with an occasional solo and change in rhythm. I'm not talking shit on the record, it's just that the four songs I bought all have the exact same backing riffs. This song is the same. The pre-chorus riffs sound unique. The breakdown two minutes in sounds exactly like the pre-chorus of Hatredcopter. (So yeah Accu§er should probably talk to Brendan Small.) Apart from that, this song straight up sounds like the first two. As per usual, it shreds. But I don't have much to say instrumentally, I haven't already said.
From what I can tell this song is about a worldwide fight between man and machine. Machine has decided to replicate man, and man doesn't think this should be. And in the end, machine enslaves us in the name of "stopping the wheels of destruction." i.e saving the planet from destruction. I have no idea how they wrote the plot of every Science Fiction movie of the 2010s in 1989 but they did.
You honestly could have guessed what this song was going to be about from looking at the album art. Which isn't necessarily a good or bad thing.
You honestly could have guessed what this song was going to be about from looking at the album art. Which isn't necessarily a good or bad thing.
Okay, maybe it's a little bit of a good thing...
Who Pulls the Wire?
Last but actually probably the most, is this track. It opens up with someone dinging what sounds like a cowbell. And the backing riffs actually vary between the verses.
I'm ninety percent sure this song is about drug addiction, particularly crack. Who pulls the wire insinuates that the drugs are being distributed by a higher possibly government authority. I had no idea that addiction was an issue in Germany. But I actually just read that Germany is the birthplace of both heroin and cocaine! So if any country is or ever was distributing addictive drugs through its government...
Hey, I'm just answering the question...
Final Verdict / What Do I Think?
Accu§er is a good thrash band. I'm a sucker for guitar. I'm a sucker for shredding. I wouldn't be surprised to find out these motherfuckers are incapable of playing slowly. I'm definitely about to listen to their Experimental Errors EP after I wrap this up.
Sadly, I've sort of grown away from the thrash scene. The bad production kind of gets to me and there's way too many dudes trying to sound like other singers or imitating other bands. That shit gets really annoying. It's a shame because I discovered a lot of cool bands. Also, it's really hard to listen to thrash for long periods of time without getting a headache.
What I'm getting at is that Accu§er is a great thrash band, but I'm not that into thrash anymore.
These bros are still fucking badasses though.
These bros are still fucking badasses though.
Next week we go down one of my favorite musical rabbit holes with Acrania!
© Acrania
Accu§er and On the Rocks Album Covers © 1988, 1991, and 2013 and 2016 No Remorse Records
Alex Jones Picture © 2019 InfoWars
Acrania Picture © Acrania 2012
Ultron Picture © Marvel Comics
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