Joe's (Totally Not) Diary: November 2019

Sunday, November 24, 2019

Alphabetically Reviewing My Music Collection Week 7: Acrania and Adrenaline Mob (Somewhat)

Yeet. Welcome back to the only internet show that reviews my music collection alphabetically! This week we're doing another double shot with two songs from two different bands.

First up is one of the nastiest, brutalest, bands I can think of - Acrania!

Disclaimer: This band defines themselves as 'politicore' and some of the shit they say is questionable. It should go without saying that this isn't an endorsement of their political beliefs.

Acrania - Depopulation Programme

Boy, this is one of the most brutal yet melodic songs I know of. When it comes to pig squeals and nasty vocals, mixed with heavy chugging and rhythmic blast beats this is the song. The only lyrics I can make out in this whole mess of a song are "Initiate the depopulation programme", and "population control". And that's all I need to know that this song is brutal on all fronts.

I like how the vocalist switches from screeching to rapping to screaming the lyrics. (That shit is insanely hard to do.) Every little shriek is accompanied by a chug of the guitar or the twang of a bass and it just makes everything hit 300% harder. There's also some parts where the vocals are layered for some extra emphasis on the lyrics. I also love the fade out with the minimalistic bass solo. Even when the song is winding down it's still chugging.

The production on this track is beautiful. All of the instruments sound very distinct from one another. The drums hit harder than your alcoholic stepdad. During the outro, you can hear every time the strings of the bass hit the fret. The vocals aren't very loud but they're never muddied or drowned out. And goddamnit that guitar tone is of the gods.

I've never really talked about how much of a sucker I am for good production but I honestly love a good producer. And these boys happen to share a producer with slam gods Ingested. You can't beat that in this genre.

We'll definitely be getting to them someday...

someday...

I think these bros are cool. I'm really just getting into slam. I'm kinda getting a little tried of the formulaicness of deathcore and I ain't braindead enough for grindcore. Slam is somewhere in between those two points so that's exactly where my music tastes are headed. When I get into a new genre I tend to stick with one or two bands and ride it out until I find some more bands that I like. I've checked off Within Destruction, and Shrine of Malice as some of my favorites. I'm a pretty big fan of politics so I guess Acrania can be my next favorite. They sound insanely brutal yet well produced which is something I've been looking for, for a hot minute. Alright I'll see you next week when we tackle -

Gotcha (the three of you who are five-years-old)!

Next band is Adrenaline Mob!

Mad respect to everyone in the band. From Russell Allen to Mike Orlando to the late David Z and Jordan Connatta (who did damn good jobs of living beyond the shadows of John Moyer and Mike fucking Portnoy) this band is filled to the brim with talent. Honestly just listening to how good they are makes me want to throw all of my instruments away. I've always said that Russell Allen sounds like Dio (who y'all know I also have insane respect for). Something about this song makes me think he might be aware of that -

Adrenaline Mob - The Mob Rules

Alright, so you've heard "The Mob Rules" before right? Well, now you have. This is a damn near spot-on cover. Without context, you could've told me this was 2009 era Sabbath and I probably would've believed you. (You'd probably have to say Tony and Vinny were on coke that day.)

This time I'm not going to go into much detail. We're going to come across this song a dozen other times (When I review Sabbath, Dio, and a few other random compilations) and I'd prefer not to give my thoughts on it right here. Not just yet.

Final Verdict / What Do I Think?

Adrenaline Mob are capital B bosses. There's absolutely no question about that. But am I going to listen to more of their stuff?

Very likely not.

The few songs I listened to (that weren't covers) just sounded like really well-produced radio rock. I'm kind of let down given how much talent went into them.

That said, I'll still be listening to Star One and Symphony X. I'm working through Mike Orlando's solo work. And Dream Theater and Disturbed are on my top ten list. So in a way, I'm kind of listening to them. Also, these motherfuckers can cover a song like nothing I've ever heard. If you haven't heard their cover of Come Undone, you've got to. If anything Adrenaline Mob are the Cover Kings.

Next week we dive deep into the pitless gutturals of Aegaeon!

Sunday, November 17, 2019

Alphabetically Reviewing My Music Collection Week 6: Accu§er

Alright hello, and welcome back to the world's only series of alphabetical reviews of my music collection. I took a week off last week, but I'm back in the saddle and regular weekly posting will resume.

We're picking back up with Germany's Accu§er!

These guys are possibly the most hardcore thrash band out there. Not because of their music but because of their hardcore lifestyle. Just look at this. These fuckers committed hard crimes on their album covers.

Look at this picture of classic Marvel comics villain Ultron. You may (or may not) remember him as the character James Spader was playing in that second Avengers movie.

The bulge is his most distinguishing feature...

Now look closely at this Accu§er album.

Just look closely...

Do you see it?

I'm not saying that robot is Ultron, but that robot is clearly Ultron.

You know it's obvious if YouTube commenters are picking up on it...

So these fuckers were just like "We like this character so he's going on all our album covers. What is copyright?" Back in the day, this kind of thing could slide, but in the days of Disney sending cease and desist letters to daycares, this is ballsy as hell.

Clearly, their label thought the same thing, because they made them redo the album art for the reissue.

So we know they don't give a fuck about intellectual property,

but do they thrash?

Master of Disaster

If I could sum up this song with two words it would be 'relentless shredding.' From start to finish, there's nonstop guitar abuse. This is Grade A classic thrash. If you leave here with anything today it's going to be with three hundred riffs. I like the intro riff. I like the structure of the song. The breakdown makes me feel like I'm riding a roller coaster and all I have in front of me are continuous loops. And that solo was wild. The vocals are your standard for thrash. Aggressive yelping with the occasional scream thrown in there. If that's not your cup of tea, you ain't gonna like too much thrash.

My only gripe is these whack-ass lyrics. I'm pretty sure this is supposed to be some kind of commentary about nuclear warfare. But either they couldn't speak a lick of good English or I just don't get the metaphors. This song opens with the line, "Having breakfast at the pool. Another boring day." I don't always eat breakfast at the pool, but when I do it's anything but a boring day. It's usually vacation. And what the fuck does that have to do with the Master of Disaster?

"Jeeves burnt the fucking scones! Don't take up for him, Karen,

this is the end of the line for that Master of Disaster!"

Symbol of Hate

Fun fact. This song transitions so smoothly from the last that I had no idea I was listening to a different song. Which I actually find to be a bad thing. For the first minute, this sounds like it could be the exact same song as Master of Disaster. (The only difference being that the lyrics actually make sense this time.) But they quickly redeem themselves, the breakdown on this one stops the shredding for a little bit and sounds a little more prog.

Speaking of lyrics the 'Symbol of Hate' this song refers to is the government of the German Democratic Republic. This song talks mad shit on them and tells the people of East Germany to blow up the Berlin Wall and overthrow the GDR. This album was released a whole year before the destruction of the Wall and the reunification of Germany. Suddenly the whole stealing Ultron as their mascot looks a lot less ballsy in comparison.

I've never felt so goddamn patriotic listening to Thrash.

Who Dominates Who?

At this point, I realize that this album is clearly gapless. It sounds like one long song with an occasional solo and change in rhythm. I'm not talking shit on the record, it's just that the four songs I bought all have the exact same backing riffs. This song is the same. The pre-chorus riffs sound unique. The breakdown two minutes in sounds exactly like the pre-chorus of Hatredcopter. (So yeah Accu§er should probably talk to Brendan Small.) Apart from that, this song straight up sounds like the first two. As per usual, it shreds. But I don't have much to say instrumentally, I haven't already said.

From what I can tell this song is about a worldwide fight between man and machine. Machine has decided to replicate man, and man doesn't think this should be. And in the end, machine enslaves us in the name of "stopping the wheels of destruction." i.e saving the planet from destruction. I have no idea how they wrote the plot of every Science Fiction movie of the 2010s in 1989 but they did.

You honestly could have guessed what this song was going to be about from looking at the album art. Which isn't necessarily a good or bad thing.

Okay, maybe it's a little bit of a good thing...

Who Pulls the Wire?

Last but actually probably the most, is this track. It opens up with someone dinging what sounds like a cowbell. And the backing riffs actually vary between the verses.

I'm ninety percent sure this song is about drug addiction, particularly crack. Who pulls the wire insinuates that the drugs are being distributed by a higher possibly government authority. I had no idea that addiction was an issue in Germany. But I actually just read that Germany is the birthplace of both heroin and cocaine! So if any country is or ever was distributing addictive drugs through its government...

Hey, I'm just answering the question...

Final Verdict / What Do I Think?

Accu§er is a good thrash band. I'm a sucker for guitar. I'm a sucker for shredding. I wouldn't be surprised to find out these motherfuckers are incapable of playing slowly. I'm definitely about to listen to their Experimental Errors EP after I wrap this up.

Sadly, I've sort of grown away from the thrash scene. The bad production kind of gets to me and there's way too many dudes trying to sound like other singers or imitating other bands. That shit gets really annoying. It's a shame because I discovered a lot of cool bands. Also, it's really hard to listen to thrash for long periods of time without getting a headache.

What I'm getting at is that Accu§er is a great thrash band, but I'm not that into thrash anymore.

These bros are still fucking badasses though.

Next week we go down one of my favorite musical rabbit holes with Acrania!

Acrania Picture © Acrania 2012

Ultron Picture © Marvel Comics

Sunday, November 3, 2019

Alphabetically Reviewing My Music Collection Week 5: The Absence

Wow, can you believe it's been five weeks since we started down this musical journey of me being confused about what the heck was in my catalog? It feels like it was just a month ago. Time flies, don't it?

Anyways, this week we're taking a look at one of my favorite melodic death metal bands - The Absence!

I've loved this band for a long time. I actually discovered them using a site called Gnoosic. Gnoosic used to let you input three different bands that you enjoy and it would spit out an endless amount of similar bands. I say used to because it doesn't do that anymore. Somewhere along the line it became filled with Spotify promotions and randomly misgenred recommendations. But before it went to shit, it recommended me this band countless times. I inevitably had to listen to them. And that was no mistake.

This is going to be more an album review since I only own their album Riders of the Plague.

Riders of the Plague

Right off of the bat, these boys are roaring, pounding and riffing. I love the chorus. The softer tone is a perfect refrain from the heavy ass verses. Then we breakdown into a beautiful solo. With a voice like glass, the vocalist introduces us to the tale of the Riders of the Plague. The last fuckers on the Earth when it's been rotted down to its bare bones. And then it all abruptly ends. No fadeout. It just ends. This song starts up loud as fuck and then it ends in silence. The lyrics are wonderful. That chorus was shredtastic. The drums were pounding. This song is a 9/10. Why not 10/10? It should've been longer.

Dead and Gone

This one doesn;t start off as hard as Riders of the Plague. But it starts off with a catchy ass riff that you just gotta headbang to. This is where I admit that I have no clue what the fuck these guys are singing about. The lyrics sound like the words of a sadistic Lovecraftian entity as he devours a planet. But the hook is "I am now dead and gone." Which doesn't exactly line up with the rest of the lyrics. But it's badass, so who gives a fuck. And I know I've talked about funky ass breakdowns but this song's breakdown may possibly be the best in all of melodeath.

The Murder

The Murder kicks off with a very interesting acoustic/banjo solo. Then things kick off hard. That intro riff underscores everything throughout. In fact, even the breakdown doesn't deviate too far from the same melody. The solo is a bit more subdued than usual. But buddy still makes his guitar talk. The track ends off with some layered high-screams and growls. I like this track but it kind of feels a bit low energy compared to the last two. It lyrically continues the theme of a group of demoniacs laying waste to a devastated earth. Which I find badass.

Echos

This track picks it up. From the riffing to the chorus to the lyrics it has more of a melancholic feel it. From what I can tell it's about how time passes by so fastly it can feel like a destructive force. And these boys emphasize that shit by ending the song with a brutal "Only one second to live!" I can definitely see why it doesn't shred as hard. It's more of a contemplative ballad.

World Divides

Fuck yes! This sumbitch shreds like a butcher right out of the grates. The guitar tone is crispy as fuck. The strumming sounds like a fucking air raid siren! The vocalist legit sounds like he has a throat full of glass on this one! With every "World divides!", you can just picture a massive battle, two sides smashing against each other, ripping each other to shreds. About three minutes in there's a badass breakdown and the guitarist starts sweeping like an overpaid janitor. This song is the epic of the album. If this album is a disaster movie, this song is the scene where everything hits the fan and the apocalypse kicks off!

Prosperity

This one kicks off with the two guitarists showing off their chops. My favorite thing about great guitar players like Satriani and Buckethead is that they don't need any vocals to tell a tale. This bad boy winds up and down the emotional spectrum. I don't know how, but this track definitely reflects the title. It feels like the backing track to a hero's taxing yet successful journey.

Awakening

This song shreds and it probably has the most badass lyrics on the album so far. The Riders are still marching through destroying everything but in the name of the 'Awakening.' It's somewhat ambiguous which makes it slightly more badass in my book. The guitars are really fucking good. The breakdown pounds hard. The solo is shorter than usual but it's all over the fretboard.

The Merciless

These guys are geniuses at naming because this has been the most brutal track, thus far. Have you ever heard the phrase, "The meek shall inherit the Earth?" Well, fuck that. This song says they're going to be slaughtered like pigs as they beg for their lives. Metal as fuck.

On top of the unforgiving lyrics, this song has all the usual turned up to 11. The drums are pounding like a motherfucker. There's a fifty-second guitar intro. The vocalist is screeching like an orc captain. There's a growled refrain during the chorus. Everything about this song screams brutal.

And oh my god, they let the guitarist actually solo-solo this time. Like it's only him and the drummer for ten seconds straight and it's crispy as fuck.

Into the Pit

Alright, it's time to get your ass into that pit. In fact, if you're not in by the end of the first verse, I'm shoving you in, myself.

Don't make me do it.

I kid. No, they didn't actually write a song about moshing. But that would be badass, wouldn't it? This song is actually about how the world is inevitably headed into a pit, and how everyone good or bad, is going to die in the fall. A it preachy for my taste. The song is also a bit too hardcore-sounding for my tastes. This track sounds a lot more like Hatebreed than the rest of the album. It even has the gang vocals screaming "Into the Pit." When the hell did I start listening to Pro-Pain?

Editor's Note: Apparently, this is a Testament cover. Go figure.

The Victorious Dead

Ah, the track that got me into these boys. Pure melodeath. That fade in from the fuzzy effect in the beginning always gets me. And I've said it before, but I'll say it again but the Absence are the kings of breakdowns. I also love that split second of silence between the breakdown and that last chorus. It's like they're giving you a split second to process the guitar wizardry you've just witnessed. Something easy to miss is the way they split that last riff across the two channels (something Kataklysm can probably patent.) This track is four minutes of pure fucking fun, I'll tell you that.

Outro

This is the end. And the guitarists are waving us goodbye with some more of their signature sweeping solos. The drummer jumped in too with some of the loudest blast beats on the album. (Which is kind of confusing, but okay.) And you may be wondering why this track is seven minutes long. I don't want to spoil anything so skip six minutes in for a laugh.

Final Verdict / What Do I Think?

These bros shred. I listened to some of their older songs (From Your Grave is going in my cart as soon as I finish this review), and I got caught up in a whirlwind of their new releases. The Absence are a badass melodeath band and melodeath is one of my favorite genres, so I know damn well I'm going to be checking out some more of their shit. Hands down, these boys are amazing at what they do. But I will admit, that they do have a very particular sound. That melodic death metal sound with a splash of speed and black metal thrown in. And after a while, all of their songs start to sound the same. Which is awesome if you're down to just jam out for a few hours. I wouldn't dare call the Absence generic amongst all the shittons of Amon Amarth, and In Flames clones that exist. They're badass enough for me to call them one of my favorite melodeath bands. But they're not varied enough for me to call them one of my favorite bands.

Next week, underground German thrash band Accu§er!

It's going to be a doozy...