When thinking of things to write for the blog, I remembered the advice that you should write about things that you're passionate about. And you guys know I love music, and self-help (I even have another blog for that.) But there's one thing even I didn't realize I was so passionate about. Cologne.
Over the past couple of years, I've built up quite a collection of colognes, perfumes, and even a few oils. It's gotten to the point that I wouldn't be caught dead without some kind of scent on me. So why not write about my favorite and (least favorite) fragrances?
I've dug up my oily bag of scents and I'm going to categorize and rank these bad boys. Starting with -
9. Just Like (Is Not Connected In Any Way With) Polo
Type: Toilette
Price: (This is a Family Dollar brand which can only be found in store.) $3.00.
If I were ranking these off of bottle design alone, this one would win hands down. I love the fact that the nub on the cap has the Earth engraved on it. You better believe that this is the only cologne I have whose top I actively search for when it goes missing.
That said the main reason this one is my least favorite is that it's too loud. You see, there's a rule of thumb when applying fragrance that goes, if you can smell it, everyone else can definitely smell it. Sometimes this one chokes me with how loud it is. And it isn't even a particularly distinct fragrance. It actually smells kind of cheap. So if I spray too much, I wind with a cloud of cheap-smelling musk following me all day. Which is admittedly what you should probably expect for a $2.95 cologne from the dollar store.
That said the main reason this one is my least favorite is that it's too loud. You see, there's a rule of thumb when applying fragrance that goes, if you can smell it, everyone else can definitely smell it. Sometimes this one chokes me with how loud it is. And it isn't even a particularly distinct fragrance. It actually smells kind of cheap. So if I spray too much, I wind with a cloud of cheap-smelling musk following me all day. Which is admittedly what you should probably expect for a $2.95 cologne from the dollar store.
8. Dark Noir Red (Imitation of Drakkar Noir Red)
Type: Toilette
Price: This only comes bundled with After-Shave and Body Wash, and it's been discontinued. The latest listing was $10.00.
This one suffers from the same thing as the Just Like. It's too loud. It's probably louder than the Just Like. Hell, it's probably the loudest fragrance I own. And it doesn't even have a cool ass bottle to boot. But it does have one saving grace. It's cherry-scented.
In the morning, I typically just grab the first of my colognes I see and put it on, but there's been many times when I've specifically picked this one out. And it's also one of my go-to travel scents. If you ever catch me out of town, there's a fifty-fifty chance I'm going to smell like a walking cherry. But seriously, I'm not trying to suffocate everyone around me.
7. Ralph Lauren Polo Red White & Blue
By now, you've probably noticed a pattern. Most of my colognes are cheap. That's because they're usually gifts. This breaks that trend. And it's a perfect example of why none of the other ones will. This cologne doesn't really smell like anything in particular. It's one of the oldest I have right now, and it's never been my favorite. I think every single cologne I've had (even the previous two) spent some time as the only one I would wear (even if it was just for a few days). Except for this one. I know other people can smell it because I've gotten compliments, but it just ain't my cup of tea. I don't know if the fragrance has flattened, or if I apply it wrong but it's never been one I liked. And the bottle peeled like an orange...
6. (An Imitation of) Cool Blue For Men
Unfortunately, the label on this one is so faded that I don't know exactly what it is. From what I can tell it's definitely a version of Cool Blue and Cool Waters. I've had it for a long while, and over the years I've sort of become indifferent towards it. It's not my best fragrance, but unlike the Polo, it damn sure smells like something. Nonetheless, it has too much of a generic smell in my opinion. Meh.
5. Halle Berry Pure Orchid
In the morning, I typically just grab the first of my colognes I see and put it on, but there's been many times when I've specifically picked this one out. And it's also one of my go-to travel scents. If you ever catch me out of town, there's a fifty-fifty chance I'm going to smell like a walking cherry. But seriously, I'm not trying to suffocate everyone around me.
7. Ralph Lauren Polo Red White & Blue
Type: Toilette
By now, you've probably noticed a pattern. Most of my colognes are cheap. That's because they're usually gifts. This breaks that trend. And it's a perfect example of why none of the other ones will. This cologne doesn't really smell like anything in particular. It's one of the oldest I have right now, and it's never been my favorite. I think every single cologne I've had (even the previous two) spent some time as the only one I would wear (even if it was just for a few days). Except for this one. I know other people can smell it because I've gotten compliments, but it just ain't my cup of tea. I don't know if the fragrance has flattened, or if I apply it wrong but it's never been one I liked. And the bottle peeled like an orange...
6. (An Imitation of) Cool Blue For Men
Type: Toilette
Price: Likely from $15.00 to $25.00.
Unfortunately, the label on this one is so faded that I don't know exactly what it is. From what I can tell it's definitely a version of Cool Blue and Cool Waters. I've had it for a long while, and over the years I've sort of become indifferent towards it. It's not my best fragrance, but unlike the Polo, it damn sure smells like something. Nonetheless, it has too much of a generic smell in my opinion. Meh.
5. Halle Berry Pure Orchid
Type: Parfum
This is the only perfume I'll wear. After my very first bottle of cologne finally ran out, I raided mom's cabinet for a scent I liked. And this was the one I picked. I wound up liking it so much that I still have it.
It's not loud enough for it to smell like a women's fragrance. It has just enough of a hint of orchid that it screams 'nature.' Which I find to be manly in a subversive way. I only really use it when I want to have a less noticeable smell (job interviews, work). I think mom may have stolen it back though because I can't find it! (And after seeing the price, I may understand why!)
From here on out we're talking about my favorite ones. Objectivity is going out of the door.
4. Secret Collection 365° For Men (Imitation of Perry Ellis 360°)
Type: Parfum
Price: $15.00
I got this cologne as graduation gift right before I went on a cruise. And through the mystical forces of nostalgia every time I wear it, I'm reminded of being on the sea, eating free food and hanging with cool people. I'm admittedly pretty biased towards it. Still, it's probably one of the best smells I have. It can be too strong if you don't apply it right, but it's pleasant enough not to be off-putting if you do.
3. Oils (Creed and Egyptian Musk)
Type: Fragrance Oil
Price: $5.00 (Egyptian Musk) | $11.00 (Oil Perfumery Impression 10ml Vial) | $210.00 (Official 2.5 Oz Bottle)
On that same cruise, I met a Muslim crew member who told me about body oils. He had on Egyptian Musk Body Oil and it was the best fragrance I had ever smelled in my life. In that moment I decided that I had to have that exact fragrance for myself. Luckily, there's a Pan-African shop in my neighborhood that sells tons of oils. I only wanted the Egyptian Musk, but the sales guy wanted me to buy them in bulk so he marked them up. (They would have been $2 each if I bought five. He wanted to charge me $7 for one, but instead wound up charging me $5 for two. Fuck that guy.) So I wound up buying Creed, too. These things are the epitome of a good fragrance. You apply them and they last all day. They're very strong, but you have to be close to the wearer to smell them. Not to mention, the two smells I picked are amazing.
1. Adidas Dynamic Pulse
Type: Toilette
Price: $7.00
This is the big one. But why? Hell, it wasn't until two or three weeks ago, I really started appreciating this one. You see, I like a nice smell. One that isn't too generic. One that you can describe as something other than 'generic' or 'nice.' One that isn't too strong, cause that kills it for me (and everyone around me.) Dynamic Pulse is the perfect antithesis of those things. It smells sporty, like if someone made that new shoe smell into a fragrance. It's only strong enough for you to smell it right when you put it on. The bottle is easy to handle and the spray nozzle makes it so you can't overspray it. Also, it's perfect for travel with no chance of the bottle leaking, sweating, or cracking. Also, it's seven fucking dollars. If you've got some pocket change, you've got to check
this shit out.
this shit out.
