Artists That I Discovered In 2019

Given that we're rapidly approaching the end of the year, I'm going to mix it up this week. I was thinking of doing a top ten albums of the year. 

But then I realized I haven't listened to ten new albums end to end.  This was a year where I really branched out musically and started listening to more country, rap and everything other than metal. And I discovered some cool artists. So why not talk about the artists that I discovered this year, instead? So without further adieu here are the coolest artists I discovered in 2019 -

Ghostemane 

I've liked $uicideboy$ for a little while now. Ghost is featured on a good bit of their songs. I was surprised at how fastly he could rap and then transition into his signature nasally delivery. Initially I thought it was studio effects. But I gained mad respect when I found it was all him. Also he talks about some shit that you'd probably be more likely to hear in a metalcore or Black Metal band. The guy has a song named after Euronomyous. Nothing is trver. 

Songs I'd recommend -

1. Gatteka
2. 1000 Rounds
3. Mercury Retrograde

Toby Keith

I was listening to Rodney Carrington while studying one day and 'I Love This Bar.' autoplayed. I've loved Keith ever since. I've been called a poser for listening to him but I don't care. The songs can be funny or relateable and he can always carry a tune. Anyone who shits on Toby for not being 'real country' needs to get Nashville's dick out their mouths and be honest with themselves.

Songs I recommend - 

1. I Love This Bar
2. Who's That Man?
3. Wish I Didn't Know Now

Elvis Presley 

Yes, I already knew who Elvis was before 2019, don't insult me like that. I was listening to Danzig and everyone in the comments kept compari him to Elvis so I thought ,"Why not check it out?" And this may be a shocker but Elvis isn't overrated in the slightest. The stage presence of God. A voice I can only describe as masculine. And the songs are about something. Somehow Elvis crept onto my playlist.

Of course I recommend 'Suspicious Minds' but Elvis' discography is so varied I'd just start with that and explore.

Dethklok

I watched Metalacolypse when I was younger. But not being a metal fan back then, I couldn't really appreciate it. I just thought it was ridiculously violent.

But around New Year's 'I Ejaculate Fire' kept popping up in my recommended feed and I gave it a listen. Then I rewatched the show. It's chock full of metal references and cameos. But most of all Dethklok slaps. The guitars are always on point. It really says something when a joke digital band is better than most straightforward metal bands.

Songs I'd Recommend -

1. Awaken
2. Murmaider
3. Better Metal Snake

Bill McClintock

Bill McClintock is a mashup artist. As in he takes parts of songs and mixes them together with other songs in ways you'd never think of. And he's damn good at it. And guess what? He releases everything he does for free. It may not be everyone's cup of tea but the stuff he comes up with always manages to blow my mind. If you watch on YouTube make sure to read the comments. They're a riot.


Songs I recommend - 

1. Everything She Wants Is South of Heaven
2. Eminence of Holy Wars and Creeping Death
3. Mother Was A Rolling Stone

DJ Cummberbund 

DJ Cummerbund is another mashup artist. Except as Bill was tame and told you what to expect right in the title of the song. DJ Cummerbund is a zany. I've heard Megadeth mixed with Chris Brown. And the guy characterizes himself as Randy Savage. Also he is an actual DJ that you can request songs from, so expect a DJ tag before every song. But be warned this is a rabbithole that if you go down,you might not want to come back up.

Songs I recommend - 

1. That Which I Desire
2. Earth, Sand, and Fire
3. WarMCA

Burt Bacharach 

Burt Bacharach (you may know him from that scene in Austin Powers) is a songwriter who's been making hits for people like Dionne Warwick, BJ Thomas and the Platters since the 60s. I used to listen to Raindrops Keep Fallin on My Head every morning and YouTube would autoplay more of his songs after that. They're not called easy listening for nothing. His songs will get stuck in your head the first time you hear them.

Songs I recommend - 

1. What The World Needs Now
2. This Guy's in Love With You
3. Close to You (I prefer the Michael Bolton version)

$uicideboy$ 

Some time this year I typed the words 'kill yourself' into YouTube and found the banger that is Kill Yourself Part 3. I always found myself coming back to it. Then early in this semester I made some friends that were diehard fans of $uicideboy$. Then we met a couple of other dudes that listened to them. So now I find myself listening to them every other day. They're different in a good way. They have a style that's distinctive and genuine at the same time. I fuck with it. 

Songs I recommend - 

1. Vices
2. Runnin Thru The 7th With My Woadies
3. $outh $ide $uicide

Bob Marley 

Once again, yes, I already knew who Bob Marley was. I just never cared to listen to him. During the summer a friend introduced me to Rebelution and Iration ( some good bands I'd also recommend). I been hooked on reggae ever since. You already know Marley has to come in there some time.

Same as Elvis I'd recommend you listen to the essentials then dive a little deeper -

1. Is This Love?
2. Could You Be Loved?
3. Jammin'

Other Bands

Most bands I can't really say I'm a gigantic fan of but I'll admit they have one or two good songs. Some that come to mind are -

1. Vile
2. Defilement
3. Gamma Sector
4. Left to Suffer
5. Cattle Decapitation
6. Fallujah
7. Gorgoroth
8. Raheem DeVaughn
9. Iration
10. Rebelution
11. Danzig
12. Eddie Money
13. Alan Jackson

Join us next week when we resume our regularly scheduled review series with All Hail the Yeti!

I don't own any of the above pictures. All media is owned by the respective copyright holders.

Alphabetically Reviewing My Music Collection Week 11: Alex Skolnick

Hello, hello and welcome back to the super-amazing music review series that you cannot read anywhere else (At least until Toilet ov Hell cuts me a deal.)

This son of a bitch is Alex Skolnick. You may know him as the former guitarist for Testament. Or as that music guy with the weird white streak in his hair. Or you may not know him at all. But don't worry, by the end of this, you're going to know him really, really, well.

Alex is really good at guitar. Like Dimebag levels of good. He's even played with the Trans Siberian Orchestra. (Remember the singer of Adrenaline Mob? He sang for Trans Siberian Orchestra. They only accept superhuman talent.)  He's made everything from world music to jazz fusion. He eventually got bored with metal and formed a jazz group.  Alex Skolnick is essentially a musician's musician.

Let me show you what I'm talking about -

The Alex Skolnick Trio mainly specializes in making jazz covers of metal and rock songs. And doing a damn good job at it. If you've ever wanted to jam out to Dio with your snobby jazz enthusiast pals this is the band for you.

Fade to Black

© Palmetto Records

We all know  Metallica's "Fade to Black" is a somber song that perfectly captures the suicidal hopelessness, despair and lack of direction ... when someone steals all of your band's equipment.

"Dammit James, this is the last time we play Detroit!"

 "Damn right, because I'm about to shoot myself right now!"

This cover felt like Fade to Black for the first minute and a half. And then it transitioned into something way more jazzy and hopeful sounding. A more accurate name would be "The Long Hard Struggle to Fade to Black In A Completely Lit Room".

A cover of Fade to Black is only as good as that final guitar solo. And for the way they took the track, I guess it fits. I find it really cool that it becomes a double bass solo instead.

All that said, I just checked and I own six different versions (seven if you count a fan remaster) of this song. So I won't fully review it here. Not yet. 

 What Do I Think?

I definitely have a soft spot for covers of metal songs that change the genre. 

Oh, you know it's coming...

But Alex Skolnick Trio isn't metal at all. They're just flat out jazz. Their covers are so jazzy to the point that if I heard one on the street I wouldn't even know it was a cover. And I'm not really a jazz guy. But my family is. So I guess I've found some kind of compromise.

Wrathchild

© Restless Records

So here's some background on this track. This one is a cover off  Numbers From the Beast: An All-Star Tribute to Iron Maiden. Not going to lie this album is mostly the 90's thrash and glam bands everyone slept on and of course Ripper, Dio and Lemmy (because when aren't they there for something like this?) 

Wrathchild has the distinction of having former Maiden singer Paul D'ianno on vocals so immediate points for that. Also, Frank Bello is on bass so that's a plus, too. 

What can I say? D'ianno sounds better than he did on the original. The guitars sound beautiful. I mean it's almost impossible to play a Maiden song accurately and sound bad. It's Iron Maiden. 

The main riff sounds kind of choppy. And some dickhead damn near mixed out the bass. But this isn't Maiden. This is one member of Maiden and five guys who were likely inspired by them. So whatever.

 What Do I Think? / Final Verdict

I think they should record an actual all-star tribute to Iron Maiden before everyone gets too old. I mean with Ripper, Rob Halford, Metallica, Anthrax, and Ozzy. And let Steve Harris mix it so the bass doesn't sound like garbage. Paul D'ianno is definitely always down. 

Alex Skolnick is an amazing guitarist. But I'm not a jazz guy so I'm not too eager to check out more of his stuff with the trio. And Testament is another story for another day.

Come back next week when we take a look at one of my favorite bands - L.A's  All Hail the Yeti! 

Alex Skolnick Picture © 2008 Rock House Method
Alex Skolnick Trio Picture © 2018 Palmetto+
All Hail The Yeti © 2013 All Hail The Yeti
No More Nice Guy © 1997 Hip-O Records
Van Picture © 2017 Evan Snyder

Alphabetically Reviewing My Music Collection Week 10: Aftershock

Hey, hey, welcome back to the thrashiest song review series on the globe!  This is our tenth week! Cue the happy birthday music.



This week we're tackling Massachusetts Metalcore veterans Aftershock!

If you know metalcore you know this man -

That man up there is guitarist, drummer, vocalist, producer, and metalcore legend Adam motherfucking Dutkiewicz. He's probably most famous for being the lead guitarist of Killswitch Engage, (which he also founded, played skins for, and does most of the backup vocals and lyrics for)

This is one of his first metalcore projects. This band and fellow Massachusetts hardcore group Overcast eventually splintered into two different legendary bands (Killswitch Engage and Shadows Fall) and went on to influence the sound of the Massachusetts scene and metalcore as a whole. These guys are the grandaddies of modern metalcore. Every band out in middle America that sounds like a cheap As I Laying Clone, wouldn't be here without these guys (and a few other bands)

As for the lineup, ya boy Adam is on the axe. His brother Tobias, is taking care of vocal duties. Joel Stroetzel and Tom Gomes, the founding guitarist and drummer of Killswitch are on those same instruments here. And some guy named Chris Fortin is on bass. He was a sound engineer.


For Kataklysm.

If you haven't blown out at least one speaker listening to Kataklysm, you ain't doing it right...

Y'all know I love KSE. With three out of the five founding members, will Aftershock hold up? Let's find out - (Also, all of these songs are off of their second album Through the Looking Glass.)

Prelude to Forever

© Devils Head Records

This is one of the dopest metalcore tracks I've heard in a while. As someone pointed out in the comments of the YouTube video, this feels like a precursor to Killswitch Engage's first few albums, in particular their self-titled EP. 

You've got the harsh vocals. You've got the multiple breakdowns just littered with abusive chugging and double bass. There's a winding guitar riff a few seconds in that feels like a warning of something ominous around the bend. The only thing missing here is a chorus with a few cleans. Also, this is a perfect case of setting an atmosphere with a track. This song feels creepy, violent and angry all at the same time. This is what metalcore used to be. 

Through the Looking Glass

This is an instrumental track that takes that creepy, euphoric atmosphere from the last song's intro and ramps it up to eleven. I can't really do it justice with words.

And at this point, I guess it's time to address the elephant in the room. This album is based (at least metaphorically) on Alice in Wonderland. It really juxtaposes all the references with some creepy shit though. Which I guess is justified because Lewis Carroll was very likely a creep, himself.

Case in point the album art. What the fuck is up with Alice's face?

Jabberwocky

I really don't want to keep comparing this band to other bands, but Jesus Christ, this song sounds exactly like Shadows Fall. This just goes to show you how much these guys influenced what the Massachusetts scene eventually became.

This track feels like pure chaos. The drums and the bass are perfectly mixed so they pound hard. Every time Adam D and Tobias scream at the same time it sounds like a soundbite of an insane asylum. The way the tempo speeds up halfway through just amps up the chaotic feeling of this song. I will admit that I didn't much like the two minute calm outro. It sounded good, but it felt like a lackluster end to a fiery track.

The lyrics are about a fierce monster that feeds off flames and destroys worlds. 

Yeah, I guess that checks out.

My Own Invention

This one is way different. It's the only track so far that features any form of clean chorus (In the form of Adam D talking). The brief guitar interlude after the intro sounds all too familiar. If I haven't heard those same notes on every single Killswitch Engage album, I'm deaf.

These guys had a fun time making this one. The way Toby and Adam take turns screaming during the outro is fucking hilarious. This is also the only track I could find a live performance of. And they are indeed having a good fucking time.

Infinite Conclusion

This track is definitely the heaviest. The drum and bass intro is something right out of an Anthrax song. Tobias' snarling is so nasty it sounded like grindcore for a little bit. Stroetzel plays this weird riff all throughout. It's also pretty easy to miss but Adam D displays some nasty gutturals under the entirety of each chorus. It sounds like a whole new instrument. There's a weird sound throughout that sound like someone knocking on wood. And then it all ends with carnival fanfare. 

Nothing creepy here. Nothing at all.

Awaking the Dream

And that fanfare leads into the last track. It's an instrumental, that starts off pretty calm. Joel and Adam are playing a calm song. Then the keys kick in. And then the screams. And then that sound from when you move your finger up the guitar string too fast.

The one that sounds like a zipper breaking off ...

And this track is five minutes of that. Creepy noises and calm guitar playing. It wraps everything up in a fuzzy, Boston sepia-toned bow.

Final Verdict / What Do I Think?

This is a good band. This sounds like early Killswitch Engage / Shadow Falls with a different vocalist. The only thing is, they did it first. Adam D and Joel Stroetzel make for an awesome guitar duo. Adam D and his brother are perfect on vocals. My only complaint is that the vocals were mixed terribly (Likely intentionally). They were so muddy, I couldn't understand a single word, even with the lyrics right in front of me.

Unfortunately Aftershock has been disbanded since 2004.  Toby is hard at work with Lego (He even wrote a few Bionicle comics!) and no one seems to know what the hell happened to Tom Gomes after he left Killswitch. So we probably ain't getting no reunion. Fingers crossed for a remaster, at the very least. I'd eat that shit up.

Join us next week when we tackle a guitar god's jazzy side project Alex Skolnick Trio!

Adam Dutkiewicz Picture © 2009 Jon O'Gara Photography

Aftershock Picture © 1999 Devils Head Records

Alex Skolnick Trio Picture © 2018 Palmetto+

Carnival Picture © 2014 bobnotk

Fast Guitar Playing © 2019 iStockPhoto

Jabberwocky Picture © 2018 iStock

SpongeBob Meme © 2002 Nickelodeon Animation Pictures

Alphabetically Reviewing My Music Collection Week 9: Affiance

Good morning (or whatever time it happens to be wherever you are) and welcome back to the best song review series in the galaxy!

This week we're tackling a little band named Affiance -

Ever since I was an edgy teenager in High School, I've been trying to find a metalcore band that has decent cleans and brutal screams. I don't listen to metalcore anymore because I found two bands that satisfied those goals. Issues was one of those bands (And we'll talk about them a lot, lot later.) Today we're talking about Affiance.

Affiance's vocalist, Dennis Tvrdik, is one of those guy's who can sing to a degree that he surprises you. He hits notes so high, that you'd swear he was channeling Mariah Carey.

Disclaimers before we get into this. This album is obviously politically focused. I'm passionate about politics. This review is going to get political. And given that this album dropped in 2012,  it's not about who you think it's about. 

[cough] 45 [cough]

Let's hop right into this.

Kings of Deceit

© Bullet Tooth Records 

So this album kicks off with a sound grab of Walter Cronkite reading President Kennedy's eulogy the day he was assassinated. That's fucking bold.  And the song lyrics are even bolder. It talks about how the public is being lied to and how those in power will be overthrown and killed for their deceit. The last line of the song is a passionate "Your death will not be in vain!" Make no mistake, this is protest music. 

And everything is on point musically. Dustin Davidson of August Burns Red provides the everpresent bass lines and his talent shines. The drums go from fast to slow back to fast.  The guitar work is beautiful. The tone and the riffage during the verses is very distinct. Also, the chugging during the chorus provides a nice contrast to Tvrdik's high pitched singing. This is a strong track to start off with.

You Will Be Replaced 

The awesome guitar work and drumming continue on this track. The loud kick particularly complements the riffing during the chorus and that final breakdown. Tvrdik's singing really stands out on this one. He emotionally holds onto every note and then releases them like a precious dove. And after the solo starts he snarls out the name of the song. Bro doesn't really scream much but when he does it sounds nasty.

I'll admit that I don't really understand how the lyrics are supposed to fit into the overall concept of the album (a rebellious political campaign) The first verse is about fighting back against the words of the powers-that-be. But the rest of the track is about facing your weaknesses and maintaining a legacy. It's good shit, but the first few lines seem kinda tacked on. I guess you can't always win them all.

We the Machines

Boy, these mofos tore that breakdown up. First, the vocalist sings that last note like an angel, then screamed the next like a demon. Then the guitarist blasts off with a Kirk Hammet-esque solo. 

The lyrics talk about how technology is very likely affecting us in a negative way. You know something that modern psychology (and Black Mirror) has been beating over our heads for the last few years. I'd call this a cliche but I'll cut these guys some slack for saying this in 2013 before the rest of us realized we had a problem.

Bohemian

This track features Matty Mullins of Memphis May Fire (I've never personally listened to them, but he's a nice addition. And at this point, we've reached the Jesus part of the record. (Yes, this is a Christian band. Obviously. No one but a saint is capable of talking about the government without saying 'fuck' 900 times.)  

Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong, but this song seems to be about how Jesus sees you every time you sin and feels bad. 

He saw you merge without signaling and it broke his heart.

Jerk.

Y'all already know I'm not too big on the Jesus stuff, but to each his own. The song still sounds amazing. I love that Mullins and Tvrdik swap the chorus' towards the end. The song ends with Mullins singing the chorus and Tvrdik repeating the refrain. I could definitely see them tearing this up live.

Peace of Mind 

(Favorite Song Alert)

Dammit, I never realized how much I loved this song until I found myself singing along and headbanging. This is a damn near perfect track. The intro is just the perfect storm of aggressive and harmonic. I love how they keep the same riff throughout each verse. During the chorus, the bass and the drums pick up the aggression that riff provided. The solo isn't anything too special, but it's fast and heavy. Like a solo should be. And this track features one of my favorite musical moments in metal. The high note right after the breakdown. Tvdrik reaches Justin Hawkins (from The Darkness) levels of high-pitched.

That high note is as badass to me as the thunder in 'Raining Blood', or the bell in 'For Whom the Bell Tolls.' That is a badass music moment.

Jericho

This track kicks off with one of the best riffs of the album. The drums and the bass pound the whole time. The drummer abuses the kick during the chorus. Despite that, this track has a peaceful feel to it, instrumentally. The lyrics are where most of the heaviness comes from on this track.

Jericho is the historical city in the Bible that gets destroyed when the Jews blow up the walls with loud music and kill everybody. These lyrics similarly talk about kicking in the doors of corrupt jackasses and taking back the power. Pretty badass.

The Campaign

Ah! These boys know how to craft a title track. The first line is "Welcome. How nice of you to finally join us." As if they're breaking the fourth wall and saying to the listener, "This is what you've been waiting for." And they definitely saved the best for last. Everyone is going all out on this one.

The track blasts off with some heavy-ass chugging accompanied by some prominent drumming. The vocalist is singing these lyrics with all of his heart. By the time we get to the chorus, it feels like the climax to an epic battle. And they ramp it up for that second chorus. The drummer is all over his kit. The guitarist riffs and chugs fast as hell. And the solo is one of the most epic of the whole album. This definitely feels like a title track.

And this one is about fighting until every single person knows their worth. You know, wholesome shit?  That man on the cover suddenly looks less of a politician and more like a motivational speaker. 

Dan Peña, anyone?

Final Verdict / What Do I Think?

These guys are hands down one of the best metalcore bands. They're up there with Killswitch, Asking Alexandria, and All That Remains, in my book. They have everything that makes a great metalcore band. Ridiculous talent. Heartfelt lyrics. An amazingly talented and charismatic vocalist. I may not have loved every song on this album, but my biggest complaint is that some of the lyrics were a bit inconsistent. That's not even that big of an issue. So you already know that I've got the rest of their discography queued up. 

Very unfortunately, Affiance went their separate ways in 2017. However, as late as October of 2018 they're still on good terms with each other. So fingers crossed for a reunion.

Next week we mosh with one of the granddaddies of Massachusetts metalcore - Aftershock!

Affiance Picture © 2009 Bullet Tooth Records 
Aftershock Picture © 1999 Devils Head Records
Dan Peña Picture © 2018 Dan Peña
Jesus Picture © 2004 Icon Productions
The Campaign Album Art © 2012 INGrooves Records

Song Review Meta: Shit I'm NOT Looking Forward To

I was looking through the collection earlier and honestly I don't even know how this is possible but ... I think I may like metal a lot more than I thought I did.

My spirit animal is a battle jacket...

The collection is 7441 songs strong right now. 800 songs are of an unknown genre (somehow). That leaves us with 6641 songs. The only non-metal genres that have more than 100 songs in them are rock, alternative, grunge, and experimental. You know how many metal songs are in this SOB? 801. And that's just 'metal'. Thrash metal has 570! Metalcore has 745!

Contrary to popular belief I do get fucking headaches while doing these things. Between bad production, screaming and growling, or confusing lyrics I get really bad headaches during some of these. 

Now, look at the shit I got to tackle next month. 

Do you see that?

DO YOU SEE THAT?

I'm going to fucking die...

Alphabetically Reviewing My Music Collection Week 8: Aegaeon

Hey, hey, hey!

Welcome to the eighth week of the alphabetical review of the most diverse musical collection this side of the Warner Bros. Records Archive!

Sit down. We've been expecting you.

This week we're tackling one of my favorite progressive death metal bands - Aegaeon!

 And if you're getting upset about a lack of variety blame the Romans because they made the fucking alphabet.

What do you think of when you think of brutal guttural vocals? Cannibal Corpse? Whitechapel? Cattle Decap?

That time you had five Doritos Locos Tacos in one sitting?

Well, fuck all of that. You should think of Aegaeon. And I'm going to show you why. (Also this is going to be a straight review of their Being EP. No other bands or songs from separate albums.)

Introduction

This is the intro to the album. You shouldn't expect much. There's crackling on the left channel. The whole thing has a hopeful, spacey, vibe to it. Fitting given that Aegaeon is actually the name of one of Saturn's Moons. This is just an intro track so I'm not going to waste too much time on it.

Demise

Boy, this album starts off fucking strong. This sounds like the score to an epic space battle. And I hate to be that guy who talks about genres but this track is a perfect mix of death metal, prog, and even doom. The guitar riff that underscores the majority of the track contrasts the heavier chugging and the blast beats. The bass isn't really prominent but it's definitely there.  I also love how after every verse that riff comes back. It gives the song a feeling of hope and dread. And then the riff progresses into a solo and the track ends. 

And the vocals. Now, do you see what I was talking about? This motherfucker has the deepest gutturals I've heard to date. And he's still coherent (most of the time) to boot. He sounds like a mountain troll that smokes a pack a day. 

Come on, you know you can picture this guy singing this.

Human

This song has been on my go-to Death Metal playlist since High School. I never understood how the fuck the vocalist could sound so brutal, but the guitars could sound the way they did. The breakdown that kicks off with the heavy ass bass and the drums and ends in a riff that wouldn't sound out of place in a Motley Crue song. There's still chugging and this track is undoubtedly brutal. But the way the guitar tone contrasts it is encapsulating. And don't get me started on whatever the hell the bassist starts doing towards the end.

It also helps that all throughout guy is yelling "I AM YOUR KING! I AM THE HUMAN BEING!" 

The Memory

That calm ass intro was misleading, wasn't it. And once again the riffing has a completely different tone than the rest of the instruments. And once again the breakdown knocks it the fuck out of the park. (There's a nice little effect in there for headphone users too.) The guitarist is making his axe cry. All the while the bass and skins sound like they're being beat harder than Shaq in a free-throw contest. 

This one had a somber feel to it. The lyrics are about the end of a great battle and how the victor will proclaim victory in the end. Not exactly somber stuff. 

Ineffable 

This is the most progressive track so far. It also marks a lyrical departure from fighting and conquest to talk about self-reflection and the absence of self.

Period.

This song has some of the best riffs on the album. The vocalist isn't screaming as hard as usual. Honestly, the lyrics really seem to be the primary focus here (Yes, I realize the hilarity of saying that about a death metal song.)  This song has some pretty strong hopeful vibes.

Catharsis

The last track is pretty brutal. It almost sounds identical to Human until midway the very end. This EP ends on a peaceful and note. The last lyrics are "I choose life" underscored by a peaceful synth solo that continues until the end of the track. The lyrics are about staring into the face of evil and hatred and finally coming to terms with doing the right thing. And then being filled with unexpected euphoria.

I'd expect these kinds of lyrics from Stryper, not a progressive death metal band that was screaming about conquering the galaxy three songs ago.  I guess the message of Being was to be a good person in the end. Who'd of thunk? 

Final Verdict / What Do I Think?

As I wrapped up the last song, YouTube autoplayed this song called 'Cerebral Hybridization' by Fallujah. (If you liked any of these songs, I'd definitely check it out.) I'd always heard the name mentioned in circles, but I've never listened to them. Well, Aegaeon sound exactly like Fallujah. The biggest difference is that Fallujah has very long songs. And before you jump to any conclusions, I'm not accusing anyone of anything. I just found two fucking bands that I'm definitely going to be listening to more of. I've never heard anything like either of these bands. And Jesus, Christ, I got to hear more. 

Overall, Aegaeon is probably my favorite band that we've looked at so far. And guess where we found them? Hidden right in plain sight on my phone. 

See you next week when we tackle Christian Metalcore band Affiance! 

All Aegaeon Pictures and videos © 2012 - 2019 Aegaeon

Affiance Picture © 2010 Bullet Tooth Records

Homunculus Loxodontus Picture © 2016 Margriet van Brevoort

Screaming Man Picture © 2019 Adobe

Urdnot Wrex Picture © 2011 BioWare

Alphabetically Reviewing My Music Collection Week 7: Acrania and Adrenaline Mob (Somewhat)

Yeet. Welcome back to the only internet show that reviews my music collection alphabetically! This week we're doing another double shot with two songs from two different bands.

First up is one of the nastiest, brutalest, bands I can think of - Acrania!

Disclaimer: This band defines themselves as 'politicore' and some of the shit they say is questionable. It should go without saying that this isn't an endorsement of their political beliefs.

Acrania - Depopulation Programme

© Unique Leader Records

Boy, this is one of the most brutal yet melodic songs I know of. When it comes to pig squeals and nasty vocals, mixed with heavy chugging and rhythmic blast beats this is the song. The only lyrics I can make out in this whole mess of a song are "Initiate the depopulation programme", and "population control". And that's all I need to know that this song is brutal on all fronts. 

I like how the vocalist switches from screeching to rapping to screaming the lyrics. (That shit is insanely hard to do.)  Every little shriek is accompanied by a chug of the guitar or the twang of a bass and it just makes everything hit 300% harder. There's also some parts where the vocals are layered for some extra emphasis on the lyrics. I also love the fade out with the minimalistic bass solo. Even when the song is winding down it's still chugging. 

The production on this track is beautiful. All of the instruments sound very distinct from one another. The drums hit harder than your alcoholic stepdad. During the outro, you can hear every time the strings of the bass hit the fret. The vocals aren't very loud but they're never muddied or drowned out. And goddamnit that guitar tone is of the gods.

I've never really talked about how much of a sucker I am for good production but I honestly love a good producer. And these boys happen to share a producer with slam gods Ingested. You can't beat that in this genre.

We'll definitely be getting to them someday...

someday...

I think these bros are cool. I'm really just getting into slam. I'm kinda getting a little tried of the formulaicness of deathcore and I ain't braindead enough for grindcore. Slam is somewhere in between those two points so that's exactly where my music tastes are headed. When I get into a new genre I tend to stick with one or two bands and ride it out until I find some more bands that I like. I've checked off Within Destruction, and Shrine of Malice as some of my favorites. I'm a pretty big fan of politics so I guess Acrania can be my next favorite. They sound insanely brutal yet well produced which is something I've been looking for, for a hot minute. Alright I'll see you next week when we tackle -

Gotcha (the three of you who are five-years-old)!

Next band is Adrenaline Mob!

Mad respect to everyone in the band. From Russell Allen to Mike Orlando to the late David Z and Jordan Connatta (who did damn good jobs of living beyond the shadows of John Moyer and Mike fucking Portnoy) this band is filled to the brim with talent. Honestly just listening to how good they are makes me want to throw all of my instruments away. I've always said that Russell Allen sounds like Dio (who y'all know I also have insane respect for). Something about this song makes me think he might be aware of that - 

Adrenaline Mob - The Mob Rules

© Rhino Entertainment

Alright, so you've heard "The Mob Rules" before right? Well, now you have. This is a damn near spot-on cover. Without context, you could've told me this was 2009 era Sabbath and I probably would've believed you. (You'd probably have to say Tony and Vinny were on coke that day.) 

This time I'm not going to go into much detail. We're going to come across this song a dozen other times (When I review Sabbath, Dio, and a few other random compilations) and I'd prefer not to give my thoughts on it right here. Not just yet. 

Final Verdict / What Do I Think?

Adrenaline Mob are capital B bosses. There's absolutely no question about that. But am I going to listen to more of their stuff? 

Very likely not. 

The few songs I listened to (that weren't covers) just sounded like really well-produced radio rock. I'm kind of let down given how much talent went into them. 

                                                                                                                                                              That said, I'll still be listening to Star One and Symphony X.  I'm working through Mike Orlando's solo work. And Dream Theater and Disturbed are on my top ten list. So in a way, I'm kind of listening to them. Also, these motherfuckers can cover a song like nothing I've ever heard. If you haven't heard their cover of Come Undone, you've got to. If anything Adrenaline Mob are the Cover Kings. 

Next week we dive deep into the pitless gutturals of Aegaeon!

Acrania Picture © 2014 Unique Leader Records

Adrenaline Mob Picture  © 2017 Century Media Records 

Aegaeon Picture © 2012 Aegaeon

Alphabetically Reviewing My Music Collection Week 6: Accu§er

Alright hello, and welcome back to the world's only series of alphabetical reviews of my music collection. I took a week off last week, but I'm back in the saddle and regular weekly posting will resume.

We're picking back up with Germany's Accu§er!

These guys are possibly the most hardcore thrash band out there. Not because of their music but because of their hardcore lifestyle. Just look at this. These fuckers committed hard crimes on their album covers.

Look at this picture of classic Marvel comics villain Ultron. You may (or may not) remember him as the character James Spader was playing in that second Avengers movie.

The bulge is his most distinguishing feature...

Now look closely at this Accu§er album.

Just look closely...

Do you see it?

I'm not saying that robot is Ultron, but that robot is clearly Ultron. 

You know it's obvious if YouTube commenters are picking up on it...

So these fuckers were just like "We like this character so he's going on all our album covers. What is copyright?" Back in the day, this kind of thing could slide, but in the days of Disney sending cease and desist letters to daycares, this is ballsy as hell.

Clearly, their label thought the same thing, because they made them redo the album art for the reissue.

© Red Shift Records

So we know they don't give a fuck about intellectual property,

but do they thrash?

Master of Disaster

If I could sum up this song with two words it would be 'relentless shredding.' From start to finish, there's nonstop guitar abuse. This is Grade A classic thrash. If you leave here with anything today it's going to be with three hundred riffs. I like the intro riff. I like the structure of the song. The breakdown makes me feel like I'm riding a roller coaster and all I have in front of me are continuous loops. And that solo was wild. The vocals are your standard for thrash. Aggressive yelping with the occasional scream thrown in there. If that's not your cup of tea, you ain't gonna like too much thrash.

My only gripe is these whack-ass lyrics. I'm pretty sure this is supposed to be some kind of commentary about nuclear warfare.  But either they couldn't speak a lick of good English or I just don't get the metaphors. This song opens with the line, "Having breakfast at the pool. Another boring day." I don't always eat breakfast at the pool, but when I do it's anything but a boring day. It's usually vacation. And what the fuck does that have to do with the Master of Disaster?

"Jeeves burnt the fucking scones! Don't take up for him, Karen, 

this is the end of the line for that Master of Disaster!"

Symbol of Hate

Fun fact. This song transitions so smoothly from the last that I had no idea I was listening to a different song. Which I actually find to be a bad thing. For the first minute, this sounds like it could be the exact same song as Master of Disaster. (The only difference being that the lyrics actually make sense this time.) But they quickly redeem themselves, the breakdown on this one stops the shredding for a little bit and sounds a little more prog. 

Speaking of lyrics the 'Symbol of Hate' this song refers to is the government of the German Democratic Republic. This song talks mad shit on them and tells the people of East Germany to blow up the Berlin Wall and overthrow the GDR. This album was released a whole year before the destruction of the Wall and the reunification of Germany. Suddenly the whole stealing Ultron as their mascot looks a lot less ballsy in comparison. 

I've never felt so goddamn patriotic listening to Thrash. 

Who Dominates Who?

At this point, I realize that this album is clearly gapless. It sounds like one long song with an occasional solo and change in rhythm.  I'm not talking shit on the record, it's just that the four songs I bought all have the exact same backing riffs. This song is the same. The pre-chorus riffs sound unique. The breakdown two minutes in sounds exactly like the pre-chorus of Hatredcopter. (So yeah Accu§er should probably talk to Brendan Small.) Apart from that, this song straight up sounds like the first two. As per usual, it shreds. But I don't have much to say instrumentally, I haven't already said. 

From what I can tell this song is about a worldwide fight between man and machine. Machine has decided to replicate man, and man doesn't think this should be. And in the end, machine enslaves us in the name of "stopping the wheels of destruction." i.e saving the planet from destruction. I have no idea how they wrote the plot of every Science Fiction movie of the 2010s in 1989 but they did.

You honestly could have guessed what this song was going to be about from looking at the album art. Which isn't necessarily a good or bad thing. 

Okay, maybe it's a little bit of a good thing...

Who Pulls the Wire?

Last but actually probably the most, is this track. It opens up with someone dinging what sounds like a cowbell. And the backing riffs actually vary between the verses. 

I'm ninety percent sure this song is about drug addiction, particularly crack. Who pulls the wire insinuates that the drugs are being distributed by a higher possibly government authority. I had no idea that addiction was an issue in Germany. But I actually just read that Germany is the birthplace of both heroin and cocaine!  So if any country is or ever was distributing addictive drugs through its government...

Hey, I'm just answering the question... 

Final Verdict / What Do I Think?

Accu§er is a good thrash band. I'm a sucker for guitar. I'm a sucker for shredding. I wouldn't be surprised to find out these motherfuckers are incapable of playing slowly. I'm definitely about to listen to their Experimental Errors EP after I wrap this up. 

Sadly, I've sort of grown away from the thrash scene. The bad production kind of gets to me and there's way too many dudes trying to sound like other singers or imitating other bands. That shit gets really annoying. It's a shame because I discovered a lot of cool bands. Also, it's really hard to listen to thrash for long periods of time without getting a headache. 

What I'm getting at is that Accu§er is a great thrash band, but I'm not that into thrash anymore.

These bros are still fucking badasses though.

Next week we go down one of my favorite musical rabbit holes with Acrania!

© Acrania

Accu§er and On the Rocks Album Covers © 1988, 1991, and 2013 and 2016 No Remorse Records

Alex Jones Picture © 2019 InfoWars

Acrania Picture © Acrania 2012

Ultron Picture © Marvel Comics