Letting Resentments Pass and Destroying the Past

Did you really fucking think I'd let January end without posting again?

Sometimes I remember the person I used to be and I get filled with resentment. Well, more specifically, I see people that remind me of the person I used to be, and it fills me with resentment. But I have to realize that my resentment isn't for those people. It's for the idea of me (that I think) they have in their heads. I resent that man and he's dead. And I don't want anyone trying to bring him back to life. He's fucking gone. He's dead. I beat him into submission and put him away. 

And no one can resurrect him but me. 

That said, it's still very painful to see these people. But I gotta remind myself that just because it's painful doesn't mean it's wrong to put myself through it. 

The thing is that I don't smoke, and I don't drink and I don't play videogames (at least not as a means of destressing). I know how dangerous it is to let those things be your solace when you feel stressed out. Hell, when I say I know, I mean I know. 

The only thing I do nowadays when I get too angry is exercise. 

And I either wind up getting so damn tired that I can't stay mad, or I'll realize how silly it is that I'm even angry in the first place. 

So when I feel pain, I know I just have to sit in it and feel it. And that's something that I'm still getting used to doing.

But I will get used to it.