Changing Career Levels and Christian Death Metal

What's up?

I've been rolling around on the floor  for the better half of an hour.  I want to go back to sleep. I feel sleepy. But it just ain't happening. Besides, I've got a bit on my mind...

Well, it definitely isn't that...

© SMKEXCLSV

I applied for the zoo on Saturday. They called me yesterday and told me I got the job. So no more sandwich making.

I've got to tackle a whole new beast...

Two song puns in a row. Hey-oh!

© Columbia Records

I didn't apply to work with the animals, or do frontend service. I applied to work with the attractions. You know, the carousel, the slide, and all the shit you make grandma do with the kids when they get tired of walking around? And that's fine and dandy.  I'm damn good with people and I'm always developing my conflict resolution skills.  But despite having an eight-year old sibling, I don't consider myself the best with kids. 

"Goddamnit Billy! Could you use the ten words you know instead of being a little baby? Oh wait..."

© Getty Images

But hell, that's why I'm doing this. You have to start somewhere. What better place than here? What better time than now?

Plus if you've been reading this blog for the past couple of days you know it's turned into Joe's Adventures in Lackluster Employment. We can at least change that 'Lackluster' into 'Spectacular.'

And speaking of lackluster, I can’t find my tennis ball. I use it to exercise my chest and shoulders every morning. (It's an easy exercise if you want to check it out yourself.) I haven't really looked for it, yet. But this would be the first time I've had to.  It's a neon green ball the size of a fist. Nothing else in my house is that color. Eh, whatever.

In other news, I got up with the idea of writing a song reminiscent of "Eternal Eclispe." (All you need to know is that the opening lines are,"I hate humanity, and I will not hesitate to kill!") But I just don't have that kind of hatred in me. My biggest weakness is my love of people. I can definitely get angry at people from time to time. And a trip to Walmart on a Sunday will have anyone feelling misanthropic.  But the feeling never sticks. And I'll always have hope for the world.  I wouldn't get out of bed if I thought this world had gone to shit. Hell, that's what keeps me going.
But it's not exactly the right fuel for a good death metal song...

"I HAVE ENDLESS COMPASSION! 

MY LOVE IS EVERLASTING!"

© Dylon Schroeder Photography 

Well, it wouldn't necessarily be bad death metal. It would just be mediocre Christian Death Metal. And God knows we already have enough of that. I'm not jumping on that train.

But, anyway.

Peace the fuck out.