I'm just laying back, chilling, listening to A Night In Texas. I was combing through my old song reviews on Hubpages, and apparently, I wasn't generating a lot of traffic, because half of my articles got taken down.
It could be the lack of traffic or the hit-piece I wrote on them, but who knows???
That's their problem because when I Google search for half the stuff I've written about, my articles are the first results. Which means that I either wrote about some extremely niche shit, or my SEO skills were on point. Or both.
Anyways, I wrote a review of A Night In Texas / AngelMaker's split album back in 2018. Despite that, I was today years old when I figured out what the name 'AngelMaker' implies. I wasn't the brightest 18-year-old.
I had a therapy appointment earlier. Now, I'm just coasting, trying to find a balance between accomplishing the rest of my goals for the day and rewarding myself for accomplishing the stuff that I've already accomplished.
As an aside, this "Dissient" song by AngelMaker is really, really good. I recently logged into YouTube Music with my older YT account and let me tell you something.
My music tastes from age 11 - 19, were fucking exquisite. I rediscovered The Black Queen and wound up bumping them all morning. The Black Queen is the result of the most brutal hardcore band breaking up and the singer starting to make synthpop. I digress, but I'm not joking. The Dillinger Escape Plan would have shows where they'd literally run on the crowd's heads. Blood would be everywhere. And when they hung it up, one of them started making Tears For Fears-style cake music.
My man said, "Fuck this shit, I'mma be Justin Timberlake."
This is an even further digression, but for the past few years, I completely forgot that I was a student of metal. I wanted to make it, so I learned everything about it. Hell, in High School I made a periodic table of metal bands for Chemistry class. I was all the way in. I learned how to death growl, and picked up a guitar. Hell, I even recorded a cover of an At the Gates song and figured out how to make album covers. I was really serious about this musician thing.
What got me disillusioned? When it came time to seriously record, I tried to sing a fucking Danzig song to warm up.
Yes, the same Danzig that cofounded and wrote all the music for the Misfits. That one.
Despite having no vocal training.
And of course, it sounded absolutely awful. I now, know that Danzig has a vocal range comparative to Elvis, and there's no way in hell even with years of vocal training I could sound like him. But I was like "Nah, I suck, let's hang all of this music shit up and quit."
Maybe it's time to pick the microphone back up.
I honestly think it's telling that the only metaphor I can ever come up with for picking up the pieces of your life and starting back over is Tim Lambesis. (For those not in the know, Tim was the lead singer of the only good Christian metal band, As I Lay Dying. Around 2010, he started doing roids and eventually got convicted of trying to hire a hitman on his ex-wife. He got out of prison and the band welcomed him back with open arms, and he's been cooling out ever since.) It's been like three years and still through and through metal is the only thing I know. The more I write about this, the more I realize that I can't run away from what I want. I can only delay it and make myself upset that I don't have it, yet.
Welp.
© Valuetainment
Anyways, I finished reading No More Mr. Nice Guy a week and a half ago. One of the most life-changing books I've ever picked up. I attribute that book to helping me lose weight, build better relationships, and figure out a lot about myself. I wouldn't be here typing this shit out right now if it weren't for that book. The thing about this book is that it pretends to be, and is marketed as some kind of macho roadmap. But the further you delve into it, you remember that the guy who wrote it is a therapist whose seen hundreds of patients. And he's tricked you into gazing inwards and fixing yourself. I won't spoil it, but later on, the book slowly shifts and turns and points the mirror into your past and starts asking you questions. And they don't feel good to answer. At least that was my experience. This book isn't necessarily about becoming a strong man. It's about learning to nurture the broken, hurt boy inside of you.
The thing that got me really actively losing weight and being consistent, was a little book called Atomic Habits. I just started seriously reading it last week, but I watched a summary of it back in June and it made me get serious about building a good habit of exercising. And I'm honestly very excited and happy to finally be picking it up and taking notes. I recommend Atomic Habits, too.
But there's a heavy burden on my heart. To whom much is given, much is due. I started this blog as a place to give back all the knowledge I'd received in my short life. Now that I have the means to give that knowledge out in person, I know that I must. It's the reason I'm alive and not just breathing.
Yes, that's a Killswitch Engage reference. I do those constantly...
To inspire people with the words of wisdom that I was given. To impart the words of my forefathers.
And that's what I'm doing by posting here. Making a public declaration that going forward, I'm going to give back. Because I've received a lot of things from a lot of people.
And I mean a lot.
© Sony Music Entertainment
Just to emphasize how beautiful my life has been, I had the privilege of being in the same building as this dude right after he blew up. My life has been wonderful, and it's time to bring up other people.
Stay fucking tuned. Great things are coming.
I don't own any of these pictures, I ain't a photographer.
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