Well, I finally went back and read all of those old posts. They're not actually blogposts, they're just daily journal entries that I spruced up, added jokes to, and posted online. And honestly, I laughed, cringed, and had an awesome time. 19-year-old me was a riot. I would've loved to have been a fly on the wall when I was writing half of those posts.
On a serious note, going back and reading those posts made me realize that I was almost a completely different person than I am right now. Which is a good thing and a bad thing. On the one hand, if I've been the same person for the past 3-4 years, then thousands of hours and dollars have gone right into the shitter. So it's good to see that I'm not.
On the other hand, I see that I was vulnerable and open about some very serious things. I repeatedly hammered home that I was suffering from anxiety, but it wasn't going to stop me from doing anything. I talked about my struggles with self-doubt. Hell, I even ended each and every post with a salutation and thanks to all the readers. I was really blogging out here. I earned my stripes, so to speak. (At least in my mind.)
And honestly, I don't even know where, or how I lost that fire. The young man that wrote all of that stuff from 2018 - 2019 was angry, but he was hungry and he was willing to do anything to build a better life for himself. Hell, I explicitly stated multiple times that my life was going wrong, but I'd never give up or complain about it. And it's not the fact that I said that shit that's intriguing me. It's the fact that I was actually living that life. If an 18-year-old kid said anything like that to me, right now, I'd let them cling to me like a fruitbat. Because that's a powerful mind. But enough about the past.
My concerns about maintaining this blog going forward (and my hesitations about keeping the posts public) are employment related. Back when I started this place, I thought I was going to be on the road touring, telling everyone my life story by now. I didn't think for a second that I'd actually be doing anything related to computers in an office. So I never cared about saying all manner of wild and offensive things. But as I reign myself in, and get a little closer to white-collar employment, I realize.
These employers be creepin'.
And if you're trying to work for Reeboks, their hiring manager don't care that you were 13 when you said you hated Reeboks, all they care about is that you said it.
You say you want to work at my Pizza Hut, but I found this picture on Facebook, of you eating Dominos when you were 4! Gotcha!
But nonetheless, I'd like to start back journaling, and keeping this place maintained, again. To get something you've never had before you've got to do something you've never done.
And I've never openly blogged about my life as an adult.
See ya!
P.S. If you're coming here looking for personal information on me, you're in the wrong place. My contact details are on the sidebar. I'm open and willing to answer all questions from anyone.
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