Monday, October 24, 2022

I Don't Understand Anything About Halloween Ends

I watched Halloween Ends, and it honestly was so bizarrely bad that it felt like a fever dream. 


I stopped paying attention toward the end. I could not fathom how it was wrapping up the plot of Laurie Strode's daughter getting killed. I don't understand how this was supposed to be a satisfying final battle between Laurie and Michael. There was way too much new stuff going on. 

There was a guy who apparently got possessed or psychically linked to Michael and started killing people. With Michael's mask on! And then instead of just using her as a background character, Laurie's granddaughter straight-up falls in love with the guy. I mean, he fucking romances her. But he's also the killer. It makes no sense why the writers did this. Is it to say, "Michael is so evil and hates Laurie so much that he'll literally do magic to ruin her life!" Why is he suddenly possessing people? 

And why the hell did they decide to make the guy that Michael possesses the protagonist? He's the protagonist so he's straight-up likable, but then he just randomly starts killing people. It's like he's two different characters. This is an okay character, and it's okay to have someone like this in the movie, but why do we have to follow his life and watch him fall in love with Laurie's granddaughter? What does all of this have to do with Laurie and Michael finally facing off? 

You could've had him possess her granddaughter and Laurie would have to kill her. And that would kill Michael off forever but it would also make it so she has nobody left.  You can even throw the love interest back into the story. But don't show us their love story. Have him already be married to her. And that way, you could even have him get possessed too. But don't have Laurie's granddaughter fall in love with an unstable murderer. That makes no sense and makes everyone in the story look stupid. Why is there even a need for Michael to be possessing people? He didn't do that shit in the last two movies, so why is he suddenly doing magic? There's no memorable explanation given for this.  

I'mma stop ranting and go read the Wikipedia page.




I was wrong about there being magic, somehow I was very deeply confused about what the movie was visually trying to do. There's a point where the main character is getting choked to death by Michael Myers, and they lock eyes. And there's a spectacular flashback sequence. And then Michael lets the guy go. And the main character kills someone for the first time, like three minutes later. I interpreted the flashback sequence as meaning that Michael had possessed him or something. Apparently, that's not the case. But even Wikipedia didn't understand what the hell was going on -



Which, to me, means that this is more of a visual storytelling failure than me being stupid. 

With the added context of a Wikipedia synopsis, the story still makes no sense.

They made a new character who gets bullied and falls in love with the main character's granddaughter. But he also is Michael's friend and he even kills people with him! He even kills his bullies! But this is still the last Halloween movie, so he dies. 

Who let someone write their self-insert fanfiction into the script? Where is the rest of the movie? Is there going to be a director's cut? Can someone at least fanedit this into a proper movie?

I demand justice! Dammit!

All in all, it feels like Halloween ended in the background of another story.

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